Fish Fingers, Chips & Mushy Peas – Chinese Style

“Let’s go out for an Indian meal tonight!”
“OK!”
“What are you going to have?”
“Umm… , chicken and chips!”

What the fuck is all that about????? People go to a foreign restaurant, to eat food cooked by those foreigners, for a change – and what do they do?

They order English food!

What a waste. In fact, I’d go so far as to say it’s ignorant and boring. Shame on you.

The worst possible version of this is ‘Brits abroad.

You know the kind – they fly half way across the world on a holiday, then eat nothing but chips, baked beans, sausage and egg.

Last time I was in Lloret de Mar in Spain, I was accosted numerous times by locals trying to drag me into ‘English bars’ and suchlike.

“Si, si! You come een, Senoir!!! Eeet’s just like back home, no?”

Yes, it fucking well IS just like back at home. You know? The place I’ve flown 6000 miles to GET AWAY FROM?!?!

What better place to try Spanish food and Spanish culture, than in Spain??? Surely that should be the damn point?

Don’t get me wrong – I’m a huge fan of the good English Breakfast, and Steak, Chips & Peas – but if I go to Spain I want to try SPANISH food… if I go to Greece I want GREEK food etc…

At the very least in somewhere like Spain I’d want to try the Mexican, Greek, Chinese, Indian…. ANYTHING rather than the bloody English food that I eat almost every day of my life!

In most places catering to Brits abroad, you’ll even see, amongst exotic and numerous choices of breakfast fodder, some chips for the fat twats from Wigan.

And I don’t want to sit in a bar draped in Union Jacks drinking Birmingham’s Finest Frosty Jacks Cider, listening to Chas & Dave and playing ‘spot the foreign accent’ – I want to sit in some pub with exotic dead fish on the walls and tropical trees on the patio, drinking El Bastardo Cerveza and having to at least make an attempt at asking for my drinks in Spanish.

And if I go to the local village Chinese, I’d rather eat my own legs than try a non-Chinese dish.