Kodi Add-Ons not working? Phoenix etc fixed for free films!

Kodi Add-Ons not working? Phoenix etc fixed for free films!

***Link updated 29/08/17***

OK. So Phoenix and UK Turks and probably loads of other Kodi add ons that we all know and love have now been shut down.

Have a weep and then get over it – they’re not coming back.

So let’s get something on Kodi again so we can watch free movies and TV!

The guide I tried was to install Skynet – this didn’t work directly, but using the same steps I did get Maverick to install, which seems to actually be Skynet once it’s all working. Confused? Yes, so was I, but now I’m just watching free shit again instead, because whatever it is, it works!

Here’s what to do to get it on your Amazon Firestick:

  1. This is assuming you already had Phoenix or something on your Firestick. If you didn’t, then there are some other steps first before this will work. If you did have other add-ons working, then this will work.

  2. From the Kodi menu click on “System”. 

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  3. Select “File Manager” 

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  4. Go down to “Add Source”  

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  5. In ‘Enter Path’ type in: http://mavericktv.net/mavrepo 

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  6. Go down to ‘Enter Name’ and call it Skynet.

  7. Click “OK”. This should now have a small popup flash at the bottom of the screen – if you get a box saying “Source could not be found” or another error, you’ve done it wrong or this method isn’t working. Go back to the start and try again, or get the Monopoly board out. Or take the dog for a walk. If it worked, you’re in business, so do this:

  8. Go back to the main Kodi menu and click “System”.

  9. Click “Add Ons” 

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  10. Click “Install from zip file” 

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  11. Select “Skynet” (here mine is called “Skynet (2)” as I’m doing this again to show you!  

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  12. Select repository.maverick (whatever it’s called) 

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  13. Go back and select “Install from repository” 

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  14. Select Maverick TV Repo 

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  15. Select “Video Add ons” 

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  16. Enable the ones you want! I don’t know what the rest do, so just do “Skynet” if in doubt. 

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  17. Go back to the main Kodi screen, go to ‘Video Add ons’, and Skynet is there with all it’s goodies! 

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Enjoy!

 

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Free & easy way to claim back your PPI

Free & easy way to claim back your PPI

Here’s another useful one for you – or you Brits, at least. All you ‘Merkins and other wild and wonderful nationalities will have to sit this one out.

If you haven’t been hassled yet by people claiming they can get you thousands in PPI (Payment Protection Insurance), then you’re probably an illegal immigrant and I’ve reported you.

The deal is, for years banks, credit cards, and loans were charging loads of people for insurance they couldn’t even use.  You probably never even knew you were paying it.

These companies hassling you will take your details and then do everything for you, and then present you with some money at the end of it.

Except they’ll be taking their big dirty great cut out of it (and there is no limit, so this can be 20% to literally whatever they want to take).  

That’s not too bad if you really can’t be arsed to claim yourself – but all they do is send a letter/email to the companies you had a product with and ask for any money owed.

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BUT – and that’s a big but and you love them – you can just send the -ing letters yourself and get ALL of the money back!

Even better than that, but the excellent www.moneysavingexpert.com posted a link to the Resolver website that will cut out all the hard work, meaning you can claim in just a few minutes, with minimal information.

The Resolver quick claim tool will ask you a few short questions about who you are (name, address etc) and who the loan/card etc was with, and then create a template, email it to the companies, and then the companies will contact you directly.

With some of mine, I was as vague as knowing a rough year that I had a credit card from a company, and that was still enough, as the bank will then check their records to find your account number etc.

All the banks I sent templates to through this service replied directly within a few days, and the claims were all sorted out within a week or two and a letter sent out to me. I didn’t expect to get anything back at all, but had a text this morning saying I was getting £200 – and by the time I’d logged into my banking account the money was already there!

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Seriously that easy.

So if you haven’t succummed to these blood-suckers yet, or even if you’re not sure if you’re even owed anything, take 2 mins of your time and do it this way.

Feel free to send me 5% of what you get back.

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Store Loyalty Card Rant

Store Loyalty Card Rant

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Loyalty reward cards.

I have had a Nectar card for about 20 years, now.

I have used it every single time I’ve gone to Sainsburys, every time I’ve filled up with fuel, and even have it linked to Ebay now.

I also have petrol cards for Shell and Texaco, that I’ve always used – and bear in mind I did 2 years as a motorcycle courier.

I’ve had store cards from places that have since closed, or stopped their card schemes.

Almost every time I pay for anything in a shop, I’m also swiping some kind of card.

Do you know how much I’ve got back from it?

ABSOLUTELY FUCK ALL!

Yep – not a single penny back!

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So why the fuck am I still wasting my time scanning some stupid shitty card that’s ALWAYS in my wallet, along with 68 other pointless fucking store cards??

OK so the Nectar card isn’t totally worthless, and apparently I do have a bit of money to claim on there – if I ever get around to it.

Tesco Clubcard at least send you out vouchers you can use to get 50p off a meal deal every two and a half years, but that’s the only one even vaguely worth anything.

Morrisons ‘Match and More’ card must be one of the best, as that little fucker has cheek to dangle the carrot for you!

Sure, occasionally you’ll be given a voucher for £5 after paying for your 75th £90 shop there – but then check out the expiry date!

Yes – you’ve got 2 mins 47 secs to cash the cunt in!  And you KNOW you’re not doing another Big Shop for at least 3 weeks, because you’ve just stocked up on tinned All Day Breakfasts and Pot Noodles!

And that’s if you’re lucky!  Normally the useless shower of bastards will issue you with 14 different vouchers for 3p off some product you’ve never bought before in your life. Not that they matter either, as you’re now down to only 2 mins 44 secs before if fucking expires!

So unless you’re the type of stringy beard, glasses wearing, tweed coat wanker who’ll cut 645 2p off vouchers out of Womans Own magazine (in which case why bother with a shit store ‘loyalty’ card anyway?), and spend 4 fucking hours in the ’10 Items or Less’ line with 14 irritated cunts staring at the back of your head hoping you’ll die, there’s every chance you’re getting fuck-all from these cards, too!

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So, am I going to throw the little plastic twat away and save around 10 days of my life swiping the bastard?

No, of course not!

I’m going to carry on scanning every fucking card every fucking time I buy any fucking thing.

That’s the kind of loyal cunt I am.

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Kodi & Amazon Fire Stick – Watch TV for free!

Kodi & Amazon Fire Stick – Watch TV for free!

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I don’t think anyone should have to pay for television – especially as we all have to pay the BBC for a license every year even if we never watch the BBC channels.

I have Freeview, but to be honest I don’t even watch very much TV. Give me Game Of Thrones, Judge Judy and as much motor racing as I can take, and I’m happy.

You can get pretty much any film you want on torrent sites or streaming them online. As there seems to be a bit of a crackdown on torrents, and streaming often comes with 3 million pop-ups and a filthy great virus, I noticed some people raving about Kodi.

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Kodi is basically a program that you download for free, install another program on that gives you loads of films/TV channels, and then you can watch everything for free and legally by streaming it.

I tried it out on my laptop for a while, simply connecting to the TV with a HDMI cable, and it was all excellent. It’s not very straightforward to set it all up, but once you’ve done this you never have to touch it again.

Visually it’s also not great, and not very intuitive – but again, once you’ve remembered what to click on (eg, Video > Video Add ons > Phoenix) then you’re fine. It just looks a bit crap and isn’t confidence-inspiring to “The Older Generation” like parents (who are happily using it, now).

The downside was that I couldn’t be all ADHD and play around on my laptop as I was watching all these brand new films…

But there is a way to make it all easier!

A few cow-orkers/work monkeys had been geeking on about Google Chromecast and Amazon Firesticks. These are small boxes that plug into your TV, and then you can stream stuff from your PC/phone or just use that to watch paid TV channels. But you can also buy them, install Kodi (for free), and then, as with my laptop, get all the Kodi stuff for free!

This meant I could use a remote control and still pish about on my laptop whilst watching beautiful free stuff!

I decided on the Firestick, as it seemed to be the best choice for me.

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Ebay sellers will give you a Firestick (normally around £40) with all this pre-installed on it for another £15-£20. Whilst this isn’t really a rip-off, there are plenty of step-by-step guides and even YouTube videos showing how you can do this yourself!

The best one I’ve found that is up to date is https://seo-michael.co.uk/tutorial-how-to-install-kodi-on-a-firestick/ – it will take between 10 and 30 mins to do, and you can do it all by plugging the Firestick into your TV and then using the remote control.

Personally, I would recommend installing the add-ons Phoenix, UK Turks and Exodus so you get loads of options for watching films, documentaries and TV shows – that way if one isn’t working you still have options. Here’s a step-by step link to install Phoenix once you’ve got Kodi: https://seo-michael.co.uk/how-to-install-phoenix-for-xbmc/

All of the above have some live TV and sport from around the world, but you might also want some more specialist channels if you’re after streaming live stuff. As I only car about motor racing live, these do the job for me!

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And that’s it! If you’re paying £70+ per month to Sky then you’re stupid. Even if you just buy the Firestick and then get Amazon Prime you’ll have access to loads of their channels and films (all of which you can also get for free through Kodi), so even that’s a better option for a one-off payment of about £70. Without Amazon Prime, the Firestick still lets you stream stuff like BBC iPlayer for free, so even that combined with Freeview gives you a lot more.

If you’re not watching live TV or any BBC channels, then technically you don’t even need to pay for a TV licence – so you could even go that extra step and get the lot for free!

And it’s all legal!

Enjoy it – let me know what you think or give me any add-on recommendations!

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Auto Aid – the best breakdown cover

Auto Aid – the best breakdown cover

The big names like RAC and AA take all the limelight for breakdown cover.

Without a doubt, they are good – but they’re also very expensive.  Even if you think you’re getting a good deal having cover free from your bank etc, the chances are you don’t actually have the cover you want or need.

A basic policy can be had for £60 that doesn’t include (what should be) essentials such as home start, and, more importantly, most of these will cover only a specific car, or you as a driver, until you start paying £200-£300 per year for a service you may never even use!

But even then, what  if you own cars and bikes, and want them both to be covered when you’re riding?

It still amazes me that so few people have even heard of Auto Aid.

You pay £40 per year, and that covers YOU as a driver or passenger in any vehicle.  And you get home start, forward travel, and pretty much everything you need.

So what’s the catch?

Well, assuming you are unlucky, and actually have to use the service you’re paying £40 per year for, you have to pay for any roadside repair or recovery out of your own pocket – but don’t panic!  All you do then is send Auto Aid your invoice, and they will reimburse you the full amount in about a week.

I was a little dubious about this aspect, but assuming you have a credit card, it won’t be a problem.

Having held a policy for years, I actually had to use it for the first time a few months ago – and I had to test exactly the dodgy stuff that you’d be worried they would refuse to reimburse you for.

Basically, the brand new Honda VTR1000 that I bought minutes before broke it’s drive chain on my way home with the bike.  So on all the DVLA systems I was not even owner of this bike, although I had taken out insurance (not that they ever asked – as the policy covers me as a person!).

I rang up at around 10pm, and they got a local contractor (exactly the same as some of the more expensive companies) to come out to me within about 40 minutes.

With no hassle at all, they loaded up my bike and took me and the bike home, as all the garages were closed at that time of night.

I paid their flat fee of £50 for a journey of about 20 miles by card over the telephone.

Now for the dodgy part – I had to get the bike from my house to a garage the following evening (again outside of working hours), and the person on the telephone had advised me to just call them again, and they would send someone out to collect the bike and take me there.

Again, no hassles – I paid by phone another £50, and they took me where I wanted.

Still nervous, I posted the invoices and receipts (keeping a copy just in case) back to Auto Aid with their simple claim form, and exactly as promised, they refunded the entire amount to me!

I’m not making anything from this, I’m just doing my good deed of the day by letting you know of a brilliant and much cheaper alternative.

You’d be crazy to sign up to anything else!

GTA V Heists

GTA V Heists

FINALLY, Rockstar have released the heists update that they’ve been promising us for years!

I have to say, I was rather enjoying reading the comments on their pages every single time they released anything (and they have released loads of totally free content) where people would have a major whinge!

I played GTA 5 pretty much for my whole life since its release.  It was only when I got Dragon Age Inquisition for Christmas that I stopped playing it.

So, after my near-3 month gap, I waited a few days knowing the servers would crash, and logged in for the updates.

They took ages, followed by nothing actually working, anyway.

I then gave it a few days and tried again.

This time, I could get into lobbies promising heist stuff, which then either kicked me out or something weird happened.  One time I go to do a set-up for a heist, which involved me having to play some shitty ‘snake’ type game to hack something or other.  Then it was all over, and I couldn’t do anything else, so logged off.

Well, you would log off, wouldn’t you?  I wanted to shoot people in the face-bone and rob banks.  Not play fucking shitty 80s mobile phone games!!!

Last night, I tried one more time.  I had to play Snake AGAIN for hours, as I tried to guide the shitty light through a maze instead of anything anyone in the fucking world ever would want to do on a game.  Fuck you, Rockstar.

I tried a few set-ups of my own, where I’m funding stuff and Level 4 people send you messages saying “Pay me $100,000 or I’m leaving the game” – I’m level 177 you ignorant 12 year old fuck!  Or some I joined where the leader was set to take $270,000 cut from the heist whilst paying me $40,000!

WTF are you rubberheads on?!?  Unsurprisingly, most people drop out before anything happens, so you spend hours on GTA these days sat waiting in lobbies, or playing fucking Snake for fuck-all cash.

Then I managed to meet some of my crew, and got down to proper heist action!

We all had some banter over our headsets, before jumping on a dustbin lorry and thraping it around, picking up bin bags and shooting people in the face-bone, at last!

The online experience really can be awesome when you’re actively chatting and having a laugh with people!  I know this applied even before the heists – I’ve spent many hours playing online just because I was having a laugh with real people from all over the world as we played.  ‘Tis very good!

It seems that a few things have changed in the few months I was away.

Firstly, how the Hell is everyone else so skint??  I have about 4.7 million in the bank, so I guess that puts me in a good position to run the heists, as someone has to pay up front for them.  I will be setting some up for the crew.

Technically, I have less now, because the second thing is a couple of new vehicles that I bought.  The only really notable new vehicle is this:

The Karin Karuma.  A sportscar that feels like one, but it’s got filthy great big plates of armour all over it that actually WORK!  This means you can sit your whole crew in there and blast some f00’s out the window in safety.  It does understeer a bit, and is far from the best handling car, but it will outdrag a Double T bike – so it’s not shabby!

And there is (at last) a homing missile launcher, so you can get that irritating twat in the Buzzard who keeps picking you off.

I believe playing heists will unlock more vehicles and weapons.

It is proof that Rockstar listen to us, and you can’t fault them for keeping a game alive that’s been around for a while and is still the greatest!  And there’s more to come…

Just FFS get rid of ‘Snake’.

Nasty Evil Ninja Rants

Nasty Evil Ninja Rants

It’s been a long time since I gave you all a bit of the personal touch on this blog.  Not in the creepy uncle or Catholic priest way – I mean, showing you a little of me that’s usually hidden… err… no, that’s not right, either…

Whatever, you pervy sick little monkeys!

I was off ill recently (nearly died, got over it, not one to moan etc), and made what I always know will be a bad mistake: I switched on the news.

I lasted about 15 minutes before boiling over.

Blind People

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Don’t worry – I’m not going to slag them off or kick their dogs! This was a whole article on the national news because they’ve spent God knows how much of our money on a study.

“To learn what?” I hear you cry!

Well, apparently to learn that “Britain’s streets are an obstacle course for blind people”.

ORLY?

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You’d think they’d learn to look where they’re -ing going, or something, wouldn’t you?

I didn’t even hear the rest of that one, switching off in a huff and firing up Dragon Age Inquisition.  I imagine that they were proposing nobody moves anything that’s on the street, or we set up -ing conveyor belt systems to hoof the blind around safely.

Don’t get me wrong – full respect to the blind who manage to get around, but I think even they will realise that it’s an obstacle course out there because THEY CAN’T -ING SEE!!!

A Pink Van

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In a 10 minute long feature, Labour were banging on about their new pink van.

“Is it to highlight that all politicians are big jumbly dog penises?”

No, no it is not.

It’s a big pink van that they’re driving around, because this will inspire all the women to vote.

If I had a vagina I’d be rubbing it all over that van in thanks!  “I can vote Labour because they have pink -ing vans!” I’d cry orgasmically in my little suffragette voice (possibly whilst throwing myself under the wheels?).

Not only was this such a fantastic idea that they felt we all needed to know about as ‘news’, but they even had an interview with, in their words, “The Mastermind” of the project.

The -ing dumbass patronising gimp who had some drugged-up idea that women seeing a pink van will want to vote for the owners??

I see a van and I think “Oh look, someone’s going to lift me and torture me in the back on a piss-stained mattress!” – but if it’s pink and tells people to vote then I guess it’s money well spent.

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Autographs

We’ve all seen it.  The latest ‘celebrity’ is around, and so hoards of people pack around them excitedly, waving things for them to sign.

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But why?

Is it just me who finds the whole thing a bit weird? I mean, why would you want the signature of someone you don’t know?  Or someone that you DO know, thinking about it! Unless you’re trying to forge a postal order and go back in time to a Post Office where you can still cash them!

People whinge about stars like Guy Martin – who openly says he doesn’t know what anyone sees in him, and doesn’t want the publicity – because he seems reluctant to hang around for 4 hours signing his name on beer mats, old dildo receipts, and ladies nipple-parts!

It’s because you’re all -ing weird!  What are you going to do with it?

Put it in a book to keep to show the grand children who won’t give a shit?

You could put it on your smartphone and file it along with that firework display you eagerly recorded for NOBODY EVER to watch, or that gig you stood at the back of looking like a modern day candle-holding twat.

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Good day to you, Sirs.