Moves That Don’t Work In A Fight

Moves That Don’t Work In A Fight

You may have read the story about my school fight with Tompy – in this, I tell of a move I’d learned and perfected that would pretty much end any fight in a shower of blood and snot.

In this fight, I had my first opportunity to use it.  I grabbed a handful of his hair, so I could pull back his head and deliver a hammer fist/forearm strike downwards on his face with all my body weight.  Except I couldn’t pull his head back!

That was probably my first experience that almost every martial artist will have at some point:

Most of what they teach you does not work in a real fight.

Having a fully compliant training partner is a lot different from facing down some adrenaline jacked psychopath.

Most martial arts will teach you to throw a punch, then as you for some weird reason leave your arm out there, fully extended, your partner will smoothly dodge around your extended arm and trip you to the mat.

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What actually happens in your average pub brawl, is this:

You either turn around just as a punch connects with your face, or your opponent talks some shit to scare you, and smacks you in the face while you’re suffering from adrenaline dump.

That’s a real opening.  You’re stood there with a silly look on your face as they hoof you into unconsciousness.

In the extremely unlikely even that you’re switched on enough to actually dodge their first haymaker, you’ll notice that they pull their arm back in almost instantly.  

As a slight aside, this is even more true of someone with a knife – so don’t even start to think about being the hero with that one!

The ONLY chance you have to use that arm is to dodge in such a way that you can hook your arm around theirs as they throw the strike, intercept their strike, or move inside it with a block.

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The first one I have tested successfully.  Basically, as they punch you move to their outside, sliding your hand over the top of their arm and the up under their armpit.  From there, and all in one fluid move, you can push the side of your hand into their shoulder-blade before they recover their balance, and take them face first into the floor or a wall, or apply a suppression hold as needed.  Even with this, I found I had to wait for them to throw a straightish punch – and most untrained people simply won’t do this.  And also remember to think ‘Trap And Snap’, rather then wrestling on the floor where their 4 mates can stamp on your head.

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Intercepting their strike I’ve already covered as being the best move you can ever learn, which will enable you to beat any opponent.  That is simply to get your elbow up exactly how your body wants to react.  They punch the point of your elbow, they shatter their hand, and the fight goes right out of them.  Job jobbed, and so easy I can train a 5 year old to do it.

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Moving inside with a block is one we all like to think we can do, but in reality I doubt it.  You can combine it with the elbow interception, but the idea of actually stepping TOWARDS someone who is punching you isn’t natural, and you can ony overcome your instincts with A LOT of pressure training or real fight experience.

People will tell you to “never kick above the waist in a streetfight”.  I would disagree with that.  Booting someone in the head is something they won’t be expecting, and even if they do grab your leg you can close in and reign elbows down on them before they can do much of use with it.  The main reason I think this would fail is because most people can’t kick to head hight from cold.  If you can’t – don’t.

And do you know what other moves aren’t a good idea to try in a fight?

Anything that doesn’t assume the opponents first strike will be a punch to your head or a headbutt.  Or anything that assumes an attacker will throw one attack at a time, rather than launch an assault like a frenzied windmill, or an Ameri-Do-Te Hurticane.

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If you survive their first assault, THEN you might get a chance to take control and show off your martial arts moves for your mates.

Just don’t expect them to let you do it to them!

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Damaging The Small Bones

Damaging The Small Bones

Whilst pounding an attacker through the wall with some hoofing great oki-wakka-smakka is satisfying and looks impressive, the reality is that most conflicts can be ended just as swiftly by damaging the tiniest of bones.

You’ll know by now how I’m an advocate of letting your opponent break his own hands when he tries to hit you (by simply raising your elbow up to protect your face), but sometimes you need to be a bit more proactive.

I once read that it takes 3600lbs of pressure to crush a bone down its length, but only 8lbs of sideways pressure to snap it.  This of course depends on the bone, and muscle/fat/tendon coverings naturally strengthen things up, but you get the impression – hit a bone the right way and it’s pretty easy to break it.

Punching or kicking someones hands gets good results – especially if they haven’t made a fist.  Fingers are easy to snap or dislocate, as are the bones running down the back of the hand (which are also rich with pressure points and nerves), and even the wrist itself.  Even if they have made a fist you can do serious damage, and if you damage someones hand they go right off trying to punch you, at least!

Most self-defence instructors will teach you to stomp on the tops of their feet.  It’s good, but if you miss you might jar your own leg.

The nose is an obvious small bone to go for and most will break very easily.  Take it from me that breaking your nose is not nice.  First it blinds you, and then most of the time just as the pain is kicking in you’ll go into uncontrolable fits of sneezes.  This is EXACTLY what you want when blood and bones are already hanging out of your snout, and if there is a Creator then rest assured I will bitchslap them if I ever meet them just for having put me through this several times.

Anyone who’s watched Mixed Martial Arts like UFC will think it’s easy to snap peoples arms and stuff when they’re grappling, and that’s a myth we need to bust right now!  When you’re grappling with someone – especially if it’s a streetfight where their life may depend on it – all the adrenalin kicks in and gives you both near superhuman strength.

You can’t just grab someones arm or leg and twist it until it snaps.  This is where you DO need lots of proper training to make things work.  If you don’t have a properly trained background then you’re going to look silly and waste all your energy.  Watch any live Police-type show and you’ll see just how tough it is to get a proper lock on your average Joe Pisshead.

What WILL work in grapples is the stuff that’s banned from UFC and almost all MMA sports fighting – and that’s small joint manipulations.

Grab hold of just one of their fingers or toes with all your strength and wrench that bastard until it pops off in your hands!  If you manage to get hold of two of their fingers rip them apart and split their hand in half all the way up to their wrist.  Repeat until they let you go or you run out of bits to pull off them.

So this isn’t ‘easy’ stuff to win a fight for you, but if you’re already in the heat of combat and need things to sway the odds in your favour this is the kind of stuff that they ban in sports fighting for good reason – it works.

How To Win Any Fight (without even hitting them!)

How To Win Any Fight (without even hitting them!)

Something for the weekend here!

I’m sure all of you are aware of the thousands of different Martial Arts that are being taught.

A question I’m often asked, is “which is the best for real self defence?”.

The simple answer to this is that it’s any style which ADAPTS to whatever the threat is, your surroundings, and YOUR natural reactions and ability.

Ninjitsu, Krav Magar, Russian Systema, and a few other military styles fit this bill – but even then it depends on who the instructor is and how well they understand this concept themselves!

Muay Thai Kickboxing is another great style that does work on the streets.  Doing it properly, you WILL get yourself bopped in the snout.  This is good in that you’ll learn how to get hit and still be able to fight back – but bad in that you’ll be getting hit!

But there are, essentially, a few very simple moves that anyone can use against any attacker, and they are natural, work almost every time, and will hugely boost your chances of beating even a much more skilled and stronger opponent.

Most of this is in simplicity.

You can spend 40 years locked away in a monastry, learning beautifully skilled, near-impossible techniques, and then some drunk Nob-head in the pub will knock you out with a big swinging hoofer of a punch.

How did that happen?

Because your body, under real pressure when some little yob was yelling at you and spitting in your face, decided all it wanted to do was curl up on the floor and have a quick poo.

Dealing with the fear of a fight is a whole other matter for another day – but for now I’ll tell you probably the best move you can do that you won’t even have to learn.

OK, so someone is about to punch you in the head.

Aside from pulling a stupid face, what does your body want you to do?

You want to put your hands/arms up and cover your face, right?

Right!

So bollocks to all these fancy blocks, or moving your head so the punch just misses – GET YOURSELF COVERED UP!!!

Now hold it there!  Have a look at yourself.

Those filthy great big elbows sticking out are probably the 2nd best natural weapons that you have.

If someone were to punch that elbow, there is every chance that they will break their fingers or even shatter their hand.  If that happens, the fight will go right out of them!  Nobody wants to carry on punching with a broken hand!

How easy is that?  You’ve just won a fight and it was THEM who hit YOU!

Of course, it needs a bit of tweaking to make it reliable, but you’ve just done exactly what your natural instincts told you to do, and at the same time done what is known as a Devastation Technique – something which damages your opponent in a way that destroys their hand and makes it impossible to use.

It’s not as effective against hook-punches as it is against straight ones, but does still work.  Also, if you’re on the ground and someone is trying to boot you in the head, if you can do this and stick your elbows out so that it hits their shins, you can do severe damage to their leg and even break it.

In the unlikely situation that they’re trying to kick you below the waist, you do pretty much the same thing using the point of your knee – that is, the knobbly bone just below your kneecap that is actually the top of your shin bone.  Try and raise that so when they kick, that point connects with their shins.

If they’re kicking above waist height, then use the point of your elbow to get in the way.

There aren’t many people that will teach you this – and there are even fewer who will be able to fight against it…