Complaint to Shell fuels

Complaint to Shell fuels

Dear Shell,

Your attendant refused to switch the pump on for me last night at your Northfield, Birmingham forecourt.

I ride a motorcycle, and have spent 17 years filling up whilst sat on the bike, so that I can safely see what I’m doing and fill the tank to the maximum safe level.

The attendant said that she was new, and had been told not to allow bikers to fill unless they dismount. I got back on my bike and rode off to fill up at the next available forecourt, with no issues.

I stayed calm and polite, despite the humiliation of having your staff member gesturing wildly at me (I thought she might be signalling “Intentional Grounding” but then realised she wasn’t an American Football referee) for a while, before I had to walk into the shop to enquire what the issue was.

I can only think of two possible reasons why I may have been refused:

  • Theft. Shell assumes all bikers are thieves who will run off with the small amount of petrol a bike can hold. Apparently the 2 seconds it takes to get back on a bike makes a major difference to this?
  • Safety. After 17 years of filling up without turning into a fireball, admittedly this COULD be the one time I set myself on fire somehow. Again, I’m not sure what major difference there is when it takes me less than 1 second (note this is quicker than getting on the bike) to dismount whilst my leathers and helmet are engulfed in a chemical blaze. Please also note that the ‘safety’ option makes even less sense when you consider that after I’ve filled my tank to the brim, I will then be climbing on top of it, resting my torso on the tank, and starting the engine in a series of controlled explosions to power me away from the Shell forecourt.

Could you explain why this is, if this is even policy?

Also, what can you do to compensate me so that I feel welcome using your fuels (and I will always pick Shell over the competition) in the future?

Yours faithfully,

Nasty Evil Ninja

Super Supermarket Fuel And Why Not To Be A Skinflint

Super Supermarket Fuel And Why Not To Be A Skinflint

I’ve banged on about petrol for years, and how the stuff supermarkets get is inferior, dirty crap that isn’t worth the so-called ‘saving’ you make in the price over the big name brands.

There has always been strong opposition from people who say it’s exactly the same petrol that they sell, I’m being a picky snobbish twat, and even if it did make a difference I wouldn’t be able to tell.

Now I defend this by tests I’ve done using different types of fuel over the years which have shown that I get better mileage, and that far outweighs the price saving of the cheaper stuff.  I’ve found there is a hierarchy with Shell at number 1 which I think makes an audible difference (and please note here that I’m talking about high octane ‘Super Unleaded’ fuels for all of this blog – I’d rather piss in my tank than put 95 RON crap in my bikes), with BP a clear second, and Texaco and Esso following up with not so big a gain to be had.

Things could have changed – so a few weeks ago I decided to put it to the test again.  OK, so I got some fuel vouchers for Tesco and decided to use them.  Whatever.
I put 3 tanks of their finest Super Unleaded in the bike for their bargain prices.

After a few days the bike started to run like shit.  A flat spot developed low down in the rev range, which meant pulling away suffered big-time.  Then shortly afterwards several more of these flatspots started to appear higher up the rev range, showing up when I was overtaking.

The bike started to feel down on power overall.

I figured it could be a bad batch of fuel, and so put some more in.

Here I should also say that normally I’ll get 120 to 125 miles from a tank until I have to switch to reserve.  With Tesco Super Unleaded?  110 miles.

So with the second tankful in all the problems remained.  I started getting paranoid about the bike.  I know some things ARE due to be serviced, and it all continued to run like crap.  I started planning stripping the bike or paying huge bills out to let a garage do the work on the valves and carbs as I put in the third tank of Tesco’s fuel…

Results were the same, so I was feeling a bit meh even as I finally switched back to Shell V-Power fuel last night…

Well bugger me if all the flat-spots haven’t disappeared!

The bike is back to running smoothly and perfectly, starting much easier, and just generally being better!

The price difference is around 10p per litre extra, but with a 17 litre tank it’s hardly worth crying over, is it?

I haven’t tested the mileage I’ll get yet, as I only filled up last night, but I’m 100% sure already that it will be much better once again.

In conclusion – suck my bawbag if you think supermarket fuels are the same!  They’re inferior cheap shit and will end up costing you more than the so-called ‘expensive’ fuels, if not in mileage then in servicing!

Don’t bloody use them!