Going Against Nature

Going Against Nature

I live by the understanding that humans are just another animal. (“sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all fours”)

We eat, sleep and fuck.  We fight.

There are rules that Nature itself sets out for us.  The problem is that various elements of the Modern World try their best to completely fuck with all this.  The Christian Church being the biggest offender, and Do-Gooders and The P.C. Brigade following closely behind.  If you look really closely you’ll see a Feminism banner being waved in the same crowd, too.

Maybe I should make this into a series, as there are so many things this can branch off into?  Racism… Sexuality… Sadomasochism etc.

This is going to be aimed at Family, though.

So what does Nature have to say about the whole concept of a human family?  Let’s go way back to the post-monkey era (and I don’t mean the late 70s)…

As with many animals, Humans are drawn together to mate.  This is an instinct to ensure survival of the species at a base level – you know the drill: Alpha Male passes on his stronger genes by slinging his muck up the best females available, and as many as he possibly can, too.

This last part is one of the first things that was phased out.  While it may or may not be true that Humans are monogamous, it’s certainly been beaten into us that we are, in fact, only SUPPOSED to pick one partner and stick with them for the duration of our lives.  We’ve accepted this, mainly because nobody wants to deal with an army of Chuck Norris’s babies taking over the world.  There’s enough of us – we can all do this and make it work.

So the whole idea of marriage came in – no doubt forced by religious types who otherwise wouldn’t EVER get a woman to fuck them more than once before they went back to Ugg for some genetically superior monkey sex.  So for the sake of this you’re just going to have to accept the One-Man-To-One-Woman theory.

An unfortunate side-effect of this mating malarkey, is a screaming ‘orrible mass of meat that flops out of the female and is known as a Child.  Whilst undoubtedly many of these first Children were cooked and eaten as a gift from the Gods, Humans soon got the message that Nature intended for these to be kept alive to grow and continue the Human Legacy.

And here (and fuck me has this taken a while) is the issue that I want to deal with today.

Nature, without a doubt, intended the Female to look after, feed and nurture this Child.  Bullshit emotions, chemicals, and thought patterns aside – the simple fact is that women produce the food source for Children via breast milk.  Therefore it makes sense that the Mother should look after the Child until it can fend for itself.

This means the Man soon found out playing X-Box in the cave soon ended in having to eat the Child.  He was assigned the task to smear a few lines of warpaint on his face and go out and get food and build shelter for Woman and Child.  Don’t ask why Man needs warpaint – he just does, ok?

So all this modern ‘equality’ stuff is unnatural.  Sure, Modern Man CAN stay at home looking after the Children whilst Woman goes off hunting and making houses – but that is ONLY because of modern technology!

It is not what Nature intended for Humans to do.  Go back not too many years and it wouldn’t have been possible, because without food from a Woman, the Child would die.  This is what happens with other animals.

So is it right that we’re fighting so hard to go against Nature with all this?

Or is it just progress of our species?  Is it just possible that this is a Bad Thing?

If pigs apparently have better/longer orgasms than Humans, do they have more sex and more partners?

The Walk Of Shame/The Jobcentre Experience

It was only my second visit there today, and I’m already referring to it as ‘The Walk Of Shame’.

It feels wrong walking around on the streets during normal working hours.  I imagine everyone who sees me knows I’m a bum without a job.  Jaunting around the place whilst their taxes fund my perceived drug, alcohol and tracksuit habits.

The last time in the Jobcentre was interesting.  The whole place stinks of bad attitudes.  Whilst sat waiting to see an advisor a Single Mum wheeled her pushchair up next to me and sat down.  Out of the corner of my eye I could see the young kid in there was shedding flaking pasty all over the place from the food tray across his pushchair, as she occasionally admonished him without doing anything about the mess.

Urgh, have some pride!  I’d never even think to walk into a carpeted office eating ANY food – let alone something like that!  And this is to see the people who are giving you money?!

Today I got an even bigger treat.

I was sat listening to someone slouched in his chair opposite the advisor, who’d spent five minutes giving her attitude about how he couldn’t possibly do the required three things per week to find work (Note these is literally things like “Looked in the local paper” or “Told my mate I was looking for work”), until she finally gave up and said she was referring him to someone else to see if he’d still get paid – at which point he did a total u-turn and insisted he hadn’t said he’d done nothing and WAS looking…

As I waited, trying my best not to stare at the stunning range of tracksuits on show, someone walked out past me balancing his open can of Skol Super on his hand.

You have GOT to be shitting me?!

I looked around to see if anyone else was looking, but not even any of the advisors batted an eyelid!  So this is normal for people, is it?  You go to sign on at Midday already supping on strong lager as you tell them you’re not having much luck finding work?

When I was called over for my appointment to the same advisor I’d been watching have a hard time I greeted her politely – Heaven help me if I wasn’t FRIENDLY, even!

It made her smile.

This was a Good Thing.

I wonder if I should get myself a nice tracksuit for next time, so I can fit in a bit more?

Maybe I’ll walk in tooting on a crack pipe, too…