EROTIC STORY: “Just Friends”

EROTIC STORY: “Just Friends”

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It was always asking for trouble.

A bed is to friends what the apple was to Adam and Eve.

As they traded laughter for a quick kiss, he was a little surprised when the gentle lip contact became suddenly and unavoidably deeper.  But only a little surprised.

Their tongues found each other, and she pulled at his shoulder, virtually dragging him on top of her – not that he needed too much coaxing.

Funny though it was, ‘Family Guy’ was lost to a world filled only with them, his arms sliding underneath her body in a fierce embrace.

Still he had to know that this was what she wanted, so he held back, merely matching her kiss until she was lifting his shirt over his head.  As she ground her hips hard up against his, he finally relented to her, pressing his hips back down on her, his hardness making her moan out load as she worked her body.

Her top was gone – he couldn’t remember how or when, and as his lips kissed at her naked shoulders, and he realised she’d slipped off his jeans, he didn’t need to know the answers.

He eased his weight off her, laying to her side and running a hand down her beautiful face.  She kisses him again, hungrily, and his hands fumbled with her own jeans, the wetness that embraced his fingers telling him this was not the time for gentle foreplay – she wanted him right now.

Back on top of her, he slid his length against her, feeling her shudder as she pressed herself against him.  He wanted to tease her like this, but didn’t think he’d last if he did.

As his tip slowly entered her, he could tell she might not last either.

He pushed into her a little, then drew back again, making sure he was slick with her juices as he pushed a little further and then drew back again.  She bit the side of his neck hard as he finally filled her with his whole length, and he held himself as deep as he could inside her as she squirmed her hips, her muscles locking him tightly inside her.

Running his fingers through her hair as he gazed into her eyes again, he took a moment to steady himself, realising almost instantly that those hungry eyes, and her full lips wouldn’t help him.  Pulling her tight again, he nuzzled his nose against her hair, flicking his tongue over her ear, biting slightly as he slowly worked his hips.

In his head he knew he should be trying to think of baseball cards or something now to slow down his climax, but the moment was too good.

She bucked her hips up to meet his thrusts – no time for kissing now as they clawed and pulled at each other.

Suddenly, he pulled out of her, and as if she’d read his mind she moved with him, pushing him onto his back before sinking down onto him again.

She sat up, and his hands cupped her breasts, then he pulled her forwards slightly, sucking and kissing at her nipples as she rode him steadily – a pace that was perfect for both of them.

She stopped with a gasp, and arched her back as she felt him twitch inside her, but he wasn’t ready to end it yet.

Teasing him, she inched off him as slowly as she dared, grinning wickedly as she finally released him, and then he was behind her – inside her again.

He pulled her hips back onto him and held her there hard, whilst very lightly running his tongue from the nape of her neck to her shoulder.  He retraced the route lightly with his teeth, and the hair on her neck stood on end as he bit down gently on her neck, then placed hard kisses up to her earlobe as he pinched her nipples hard.

She turned her head so their lips met briefly, then dropped her face to the mattress in ecstasy as he pulled back and sank into her again.

He thrust harder, and she met his movements eagerly.  He pushed her forwards, taking his weight on one arm as his other hand moved between her legs.

He felt her cum as he was right on the edge, and knew he should pull out of her, but it felt too good.

She was cumming and trying to pull his hand away from her clit, but he kept the pressure there as he came hard inside her, feeling her juices running down over his fingers as she cried out with him.

She fell forwards, and he moved with her, still inside her and kissing her shoulders as they rose and fell with her breathing.

At last she lifted her head and twisted around to look at him with a smile.

Maybe they weren’t just friends anymore…

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You Have The Power To Make Or Break Someone’s Day!

You Have The Power To Make Or Break Someone’s Day!

Years ago, when I stopped being quite so much of an Evil Misanthrope, and started to get into the idea of Karma and being humble and selfless, something great struck me.

I have the power to make or break someone’s entire day – sometimes with as little as a simple word or gesture.

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Thinking back, it’s something I’ve always known, I just never noticed it so much.  I can certainly remember when I was young and would walk around the paddock at race circuits, just how good it would feel to have one of the top drivers talk to me.  Or talking to the ‘groupies’ (there weren’t many) I had when I was doing martial arts competitions, playing/singing in bands, and playing US Football.

The most common example of this these days, is that most little kids are fascinated by bikers.

When I’m in full leathers on a big flashy sportsbike, it evokes images of Knights/Spacemen/Alien Warriors in children.  I know this because I used to be the same – and this was before the days of ultra-modern race-replica stuff that’s common today!

I can be walking around a supermarket buying fresh chili and Red Bull, and there’ll be a toddler staring at me in absolute awe!  I could get pissed off with this – especially stood in the checkout line with some little shit staring open-mouthed at me… I choose not to.  I’ll smile and be happy and courteous, even if I’m in a foul mood.

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Not long ago, I was riding in heavy traffic and passed a kid riding a cycle on the path at the side of the road.  As I came to a stop I did my customary double-blip on the throttle as I changed down through the gears.  As he rode alongside me, I heard him mimic it and pretend to twist his handlebar grip like he was revving.  So what was I to do?  I’m still a kid at heart, and I revved the engine again for him!

He loved it!  He rode on with a huge grin on his face, and that got even bigger when I pulled away again giving it even more revs!

But we should do this kind of thing more, even to people in the street – say “Hi!” to them, or strike up a conversation with that old lady at the bus stop.  It’s great to see their face light up, and knowing they’ll be thinking “What a nice man” on their way home that day.

Maybe they’ve had a shitty day, and were starting to doubt humanity – and you’ve just made them smile and given them hope again?  I know random strangers have done that for me before!

The tiniest acts of your kindness can make someone’s whole day.

A while back I did a blog about when I was in Scruffy Murphy’s, and met one of my musical hero’s (Jeff Walker from Carcass) for the first time in the flesh.  At the end of that night, before he left, he came and shook my hand and said goodbye!  That was sooo fucking cool!  I still smile about it when I think about it now – and what was it really to him?  Absolutely nothing!

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I’m a big fan of what I like to call ‘Random Acts Of Senseless Kindness’.  Every so often, I’ll do something for someone, or go out of my way just to do something… well, NICE!

One of my friends fought hard to get hold of a ‘Terrible Towel’ from the Pittsburg Steelers.  At one game, he simply gave it away to some random kid, because it made him happy!

When’s the last time you did anything like that?

When’s the last time anyone did anything like that for you?

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Easter Piss-Me-Off

Easter Piss-Me-Off

I wake up -ing angry.  This is mainly because I know I’ll spend the day getting pissed off by dickheads.

Speaking of waking up angry, don’t you just hate it when you get woken up a minute or two before your alarm goes off?  A measly two minutes early and suddenly we’re talking full-on rage!

Anyway, it’s the Easter Holidays, when the Zombie Jesus rose from his grave to eat fish, bread and brains, so in His honour, I’m going to -ing rant about people who need to be having their mouths kicked open.

The first is car drivers who drive at 50mph in a 60mph zone, holding everyone up, and then when the speed limit drops to a 40mph zone they STILL carry on doing 50mph through it!

What the fk?!?!  If you can’t drive at 60mph because it’s ‘too fast’, then what the FK is going through your head to think you can safely speed through somewhere where the speed limit probably IS there for a reason?

I swear to God I will ram you spastics off the road when I get bull bars fitted to the Mighty Uno!

And what’s with Multi-pack crisps?!

Fine – you pay less because you buy your crisps (that’s “potato chips” or “corn chips” to you ‘Merkin types) in bulk, 6 or 12 packs at a time.  But is it just me that’s noticed that these packets are SMALLER than the ones you can buy individually??

Oh right, so you’re going to give us less food and charge us less for it as if we should be grateful?

FK you!

All that happens is we eat the crisps and find there aren’t enough of the bastards in the bag, so we end up having two bags instead!  Then we get fat and you, the Crisp Kingpins, are CUNTS!

And they also pull this shti with beer!

You should ONLY be able to buy beer in 500ml cans, or possibly the ‘full pint’ cans of 568ml.  What are 440ml cans for, other than to rip us off with ‘cheaper’ multipacks just like crisps??

The final thing is people names.

In my new position as a Legal Monkey, I have to deal with the names of solicitors.  This is fine when it brings such joys as Fiorella Antonella Marchitelli (just say it out loud – it’s beautiful!), but then not much help at all with names like Mr Ranpatabendige Harshadeva Weerawarna Nilaweera.  Spell that sucker out phonetically, and that’s your 12 hour shift in!

And don’t get me started on Miss Fathima Sharmila Galpoththegedara Cader Meera Saibuge Jeinulabdeen… (genuine names, these!!!)

Why can’t they just stick to normal names like Tarquinn Piggeldy-Smythe?

Tank Mounting The Veho VCC-005-MUVI-HD10+

Tank Mounting The Veho VCC-005-MUVI-HD10+

One problem I’ve been having with my Veho HD10 camera is with the sound.  It seems that the microphone is very sensitive, and will even pick up sounds such as vibrations and movement through the casing if you tape it to anything, like I do.

The way to get around most of the sound issues is to either use the mounts supplied by Veho, or to make your own.  I decided to try using one of the ‘official’ Veho mounts.

This one has a strong sticky pad that I stuck onto the tank.  The glue is very strong and even just plonking it on there in the cold it stayed put confidently.  Ideally, you want to make sure it’s set by sticking it on and leaving it overnight to set properly.  There are several of these types supplied.

The camera and mount attaches to this with a velcro pad.  I chose this for easy removal, but as it turns out the extra ‘give’ of the velcro meant the camera has far too much free movement!  The actual mount itself has two connecting joints (you can add more or remove them as required) – make sure these are screwed in as tight as possible, as they do work loose so the camera position moves!

My petrol tank does move a little with engine vibrations, and this didn’t help matters.  Before I’d screwed the joints up REALLY hard, I found the camera started to lean backwards under acceleration so it was filming the sky, and went forwards under hard braking and over harsh bumps.  My advice is to use as few of the joints as you possibly can for maximum stability.

I have no interest whatsoever in filming my speedometer – I don’t use cameras to show off or prove anything, so I’m not a major fan of this set-up!  You may well love it, and it could be good on track.

To eliminate the excess movement you may also want to stick the camera mount directly to the tank, and not use the velcro pad like I did.  If you do this you can still remove the mount and camera quickly and easily, as they all slide and click in securely anyway.

Oh, and the camera itself screws into the mount nicely, with no need for tape, padding, or anything else.

Overall, the mounts are all very good and very easy to use, plus they’re quite adaptable.  They’re well thought out, but you need to have a think yourself about where best to put them and which to use.

So what’s next?  I didn’t like the tank mounted option because there’s just too much movement on my bike.  I think next I will stick one of the pads onto my top yoke and see how that goes.  I’m also tempted to get the suction mount and put that on the inside of the windscreen… I’m not sure on a bike there’ll be anywhere on the screen flat enough to get good purchase, though?

And I finally got around to putting the supplied CD-ROM into my laptop – there’s nothing special on it apart from an electronic copy of the user manual, so those who can’t get it to load aren’t missing anything here!

I’ll get more pics and video of my next run…

Lickey Woods? Lick My FiveFingers!

Lickey Woods?  Lick My FiveFingers!

I was a bit disappointed to see it had rained overnight, but bravely slipped on my Vibram FiveFinger KSO’s and headed off to the Lickey Woods (near Lickey End *sniggers*) to give them a proper first try out.

One thing I noticed about them straight away is that having a much thinner sole than normal shoes and trainers, my jeans were too long for them!  They drag on the floor, and you can feel when you’re treading on them through the soles, too!  I could have worn shorts, but decided against it as it’s still only March here and in single-degrees-celsius, and more importantly you may have noticed from other pics my legs are so white it’s often been suggesting that it was the glare from them that sent Stevie Wonder blind.  Before I was born.

After having to nip into a local supermarket against my will I was surprised not to have people pointing at me and laughing.  I bought the black pair not because I want to look like a Ninja, nor did I buy them because I like the idea of wearing chopped-off gorillas feet over my own – but in the hope that they were a bit less noticeable.  It seems to have worked.

Which brings me to something else I was looking forward to trying:  Driving.

If you’ve ever tried driving a car in socks or barefoot, you’ll know that it -ing hurts.  I knew I was taking this chance with the FiveFingers, but to balance that was the knowledge that proper racing car footwear features very thin soles for extra feel.  Luckily, it seems the Vibrams have far more in common with the latter, and there was no sign of any discomfort at all on a short journey.  In fact I was amazed at the feel through them!  They’ve got to be the ultimate shoes for a racing driver – and it would make the whole skill of ‘Heel-and-toe’ much more literal!  Do they make a fireproof version?  If not, they’re missing a market!

It’s a shame they don’t also make a motorcycle boot version, because they’d feel brilliant, too.  I suppose from a crash protection point of view the toes wouldn’t be a great idea, though, and the strain on your left toe from the gear shift could become extremely uncomfortable…

I only walked around the Lickey Woods rather than running, but that was enough to tell me a lot of what to expect.

As I suspected before, big stones HURT.  If you get one in the arch of your foot in the middle next to the ball of your foot you know about it, and it would be a crippler if you were slamming your feet down at a run.  They’re not as bad as I thought they would be, though.

Loose gravel is like getting a foot massage, grass just feels sublime, and mud like walking on a waterbed!

Certainly, the softer ground is better, but I’m sure I’ll soon learn to watch more carefully where I put my feet to avoid the painful bits, and I’m sure my feet will also adapt and harden to it.

The extra stability really comes through on uneven ground, and where trainers would have thrown my balance off, my feet were able to fluidly mould to the ground just the way our feet evolved to do.  If you ever want a practical demonstration of the principles of Ninjitsu – you won’t find a much better example of it than here.  I wonder if Masaaki Hatsumi wears these?  I wonder if he endorses their use in Ninjutsu practise?

Vibram say in their literature that you should only wear FiveFingers for an hour or two at a time until your body adjusts to them.  On this outing I found my calves were starting to ache quite a lot, so I’m assuming this is related?

I have a problem when I run in trainers where I get muscle pump on the front of my lower legs, meaning although the rest of my body is still willing, I can hardly lift my foot anymore to take a step.  I’m hoping the FiveFingers will help relieve this.

I plan on wearing them to the gym tomorrow, where I should find out…


Vibram FiveFingers – New Feet For My Feet!

Vibram FiveFingers – New Feet For My Feet!

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I laughed when I first saw these freaky things!

I was looking for new trainers to inspire me back into some form of fitness training, and after the ‘posture-shaping’ trainers stumbled onto the Vibram FiveFingers website.

But as curiosity got the better of me, and as I read on, they started to make more and more sense.

Think about it:  Everybody loves the barefoot experience.  A few years back I even went barefoot in the snow, just to see what it was like.  Many times as a kid I’d take to the streets barefoot, only to be hobbled by a stray stone.

I mean, barefoot is natural, and we’ve evolved to have amazing feet which can deal with all kinds of terrain, boost our balance…. and then some idiot goes and designs shoes with a big flat sole that totally boxes our toes in and ruins all that evolution.  Even the Ninja recognised this and have a split so that your toes are split into two sections.

Go and wear mittens on your hands and see how your day goes without the use of your fingers.

Then factor in all the highly developed muscles and tendons which are made redundant by ‘normal’ shoes, and ask yourself what REALLY makes sense?

A few years back, Mister Smalls (a fellow MySpace blogger) bought a pair for himself, and that was really the final straw for me – I neeeeeded some!

Today I (finally) opened the box to find what looks like the unfortunate remains of a gorilla.

‘Slipping’ them on doesn’t really happen – it’s more a case of making sure all your toes go in their separate spaces (a toe-spreader would help here!) but then a very effective and simple tug on the velcro fastener adjusts the fit around the heel and over the bridge of your foot.

I’d heard that the FiveFingers seem very big, so getting them fitted properly is by far the best plan, although there are fitting videos available online to watch before you buy.  Unfortunately, of the few rare places with these on their shelves, nobody had anywhere near my size (UK 9/EU 43’s are like gold dust!) so I just had to buy and hope they fitted when they arrive.

They still seem a bit long in the toes, but then unless your toes are the exact length the shoes are moulded for there will always be a few too loose or tight.  And with full toe movement and socks, these seem just about right for me.  Oh, and having sat here wearing them indoors for a few hours, those socks may be a good investment – after my toes being snuggled next to each other in a big clump all my life, now they’re separated they are COLD!

Unsurprisingly, considering your feet have evolved to shape and re-form for maximum adhesion, they seem to have awesome levels of grip over trainers simply from the extra movement keeping a bigger contact patch with the ground.

The soles are sturdy but do seem thin.  Small chunks of gravel should be no problem – a big sharp rock at the peak of the Malvern Hills could hurt.  I’ll just have to test them, and even if it does hurt I’m sure it’s possible to get used to it once your feet harden up.  I never wear slippers and am barefoot or just in socks whenever possible, so I’m hoping I fare better than most people with this…

Because of the grip and extra movement, they seem excellent for martial arts!  It really is a lot like wearing nothing, and that especially comes over when performing kicks.

I’m looking forward to seeing what driving is like in these – I will update this after that experience, and also my next time at the gym…

First Knee-Down Of 2011

First Knee-Down Of 2011


I can’t even remember if this is earlier or later than usual, but today was the first day of the year that I heard that distinctive scrape of plastic kneeslider on tarmac!

It’s still only around 8 degree Celsius here, and the roads are colder than a polar bears winkie – but the sun had been shining all day and so it was on with the Buffy neck warmer and away.

I’m still playing with mounting options for the Veho HDd10.  Sound is a major issue, because not only is it picking up far too much wind noise and high end sound, but it seems to pick up vibrations through the casing itself when taped to anything vaguely vibratey.  Yes, that is a word.  Today I used one of the Veho clip mounts, and taped this to my brake reservoir, rather than putting any tape on the actual camera directly.  Sound seems a lot better, but the very loose mounting point meant the camera was a bit wobbly.

It’s looking like a custom mount will be the way to go – possibly similar to the one I made for the micro cams, where you just slot the camera into some foam.

The bikers all over the UK seem to have woken up today, so I’m sure I’m not the first to scrape my knee today!

I was still worried about cold tyres and the mud still on the sides of mine, but I know the Pirelli Angel ST tyres have excellent grip from cold, so it’s more in my head after getting used to looking out for ice patches all Winter.  Just because the sun’s out doesn’t mean the road conditions are good and grippy…

My riding felt a bit off.  Speeds I’d normally think nothing of were feeling fast to me today – most likely thanks to driving a slow-assed car around so I’m more used to that than bikes now.  Consequently I was taking it relatively easy, because I just didn’t feel very comfortable when cornering.

Despite this, on a few roundabouts I put the feelers out and cranked the old ZX9R over enough to scrape the footpegs, and if you can scrape the pegs you can scrape your knees!

I followed someone on a grey BMW GS with hard paniers for a while before overtaking nice and safely when the opportunity arose.  He turned off on a roundabout, and so I was a bit surprised to see him in my mirrors again shortly afterwards.

Coincidence?  Maybe… but he then followed me everywhere I went.  This is a red flag because the Police do like these bikes, and it’s easy to conceal cameras and blue lights in those hard paniers.

As I’ve said, today I was riding sensibly, so this was even more strange… unless maybe he saw my camera as he turned off?  He certainly had a few opportunities when he followed me to get a good view of it, so perhaps he was watching to see me do something stupid for the camera.

I didn’t.

I rode nicely, pretending I hadn’t seen him, and headed towards a favourite place to see if I could get my knee down without much effort.

He followed me all the way, so I turned off early onto some more fast flowing curves.

Most people are surprised at how well a big BMW GS can move compared to a sportsbike, but when it comes to smooth, fast curves NOTHING beats a sportsbike.  It’s the reason for their whole existence.

Even at legal speeds I pulled out a gap, and then as a switchback curve obscured his view of me I tightened my line around a left-hander, shifting my weight over to the left as I gripped between the footpeg and the side of the petrol tank with my right leg.

Reaching out a little with my left knee was all it took for the slider to touch down.

Ahh, that beautiful, addictive sound!

And literally in front of the police?  Could be…