My First Ever ‘Real’ Valentines Day (And Why I’m A Rubberhead)

My First Ever ‘Real’ Valentines Day (And Why I’m A Rubberhead)

Can you remember your first real Valentines Day – that one where you got something or gave something for the first time?

Our family has never done this crap where your Mum sends you a card.  Aside from hearing the ‘Deliverance’ banjo’s in my head even thinking about that, I suspect it cheapens real love and its meaning, and no doubt turns you into some cold selfish monster, with no appreciation of love from a partner.

Hehehe – how many readers has that lost me then??

Seriously though, the first time…

In the Summer holiday before I started Middle School (which made me 9), I met a girl who lived in my village, and fancied her straight away.  Her Dad raced karts, and she showed me her garage with his kart in – err, that sounds really bad!  Anyway, when I started school, I saw her again, but she was in a different class.  Being young and stupider, I admired her from afar, and never approached her.

A few years later, I finally spoke to her, and it turned out that wasn’t the same girl I’d met before school.  In fact, maybe I dreamed that whole thing, because I never saw a girl near that house again (and I rode past a lot on my bike that Summer!!!).  Spooky, but back to the point we must go:

It was the fourth and final year of Middle School when I finally plucked up some courage.  We were in the same class the year before and also for the fourth year, so I had spoken to her.  I used to piss her off and she’d smack me in the balls – it was true love!

I decided to use my Ninja skills and send her a Valentines Card.

I carefully cut all the letters I needed out of a newspaper, and like some kind of demented kidnapper, used sticky tape (we didn’t have glue) to put them all in an anonymous card.  It was probably something a little like this:

It seemed like a great idea at the time, ok?  It’s only looking back now that I’m surprised she didn’t report me to the Police!!!

I snuck the card into her desk unnoticed, and watched and waited as she discovered it and puzzled over who had sent it.

She didn’t know I had a major crush on her, and my friends knew even less!

Still, later in the day she confronted me with it.  She looked a bit surprised, but really happy with it (bet she’s into bondage and kidnapping fantasies now), and asked me to my face if I’d sent her it.

*groans*

And so I point-blank denied it!!!

I still kick myself for that today!  I was terrified at the thought of admitting that to her, so I didn’t!!!

Maybe she knew, maybe she didn’t… either way, I’m a -ing rubberhead.

A few months later she ended up with someone else at a school disco, and that was my first heartbreak….

A very hard lesson learned, as we went to different high schools, and I never saw her again – apart from one weird psychic dream incident that I saw her after, but was too shocked to speak to her and she never saw me…

7 years later I still thought and dreamed about her.  I like to think that after all that time, it taught me NEVER to sit and say nothing again.

Tell them!!!

Get out there, and send that girl or boy you fancy a Valentines Card – and SIGN IT from you!!!

What have you got to lose?  You’ll regret it if you don’t!

Umm, I wouldn’t recommend doing it in kidnapping style though… although… maybe there’s a great idea there for some ‘holding my heart hostage’ comment…

Hope you all have a great day, and send SOMEONE a card – it’ll make their day!

***Special Note***
The girl concerned in this is now a friend on Facebook.  This blog is actually a repost from a few years ago, and I DID come clean and even gave her the link to this blog!  She said she always suspected it was from me!

My First Ever ‘Real’ Valentines Day (And Why I’m A Rubberhead)

My First Ever ‘Real’ Valentines Day (And Why I’m A Rubberhead)

Can you remember your first real Valentines Day – that one where you got something or gave something for the first time?

Our family has never done this crap where your Mum sends you a card.  Aside from hearing the ‘Deliverance’ banjo’s in my head even thinking about that, I suspect it cheapens real love and its meaning, and no doubt turns you into some cold selfish monster, with no appreciation of love from a partner.

Hehehe – how many readers has that lost me then??

Seriously though, the first time…

In the Summer holiday before I started Middle School (which made me 9), I met a girl who lived in my village, and fancied her straight away.  Her Dad raced karts, and she showed me her garage with his kart in – err, that sounds really bad!  Anyway, when I started school, I saw her again, but she was in a different class.  Being young and stupider, I admired her from afar, and never approached her.

A few years later, I finally spoke to her, and it turned out that wasn’t the same girl I’d met before school.  In fact, maybe I dreamed that whole thing, because I never saw a girl near that house again (and I rode past a lot on my bike that Summer!!!).  Spooky, but back to the point we must go:

It was the fourth and final year of Middle School when I finally plucked up some courage.  We were in the same class the year before and also for the fourth year, so I had spoken to her.  I used to piss her off and she’d smack me in the balls – it was true love!

I decided to use my Ninja skills and send her a Valentines Card.

I carefully cut all the letters I needed out of a newspaper, and like some kind of demented kidnapper, used sticky tape (we didn’t have glue) to put them all in an anonymous card.  It was probably something a little like this:

It seemed like a great idea at the time, ok?  It’s only looking back now that I’m surprised she didn’t report me to the Police!!!

I snuck the card into her desk unnoticed, and watched and waited as she discovered it and puzzled over who had sent it.

She didn’t know I had a major crush on her, and my friends knew even less!

Still, later in the day she confronted me with it.  She looked a bit surprised, but really happy with it (bet she’s into bondage and kidnapping fantasies now), and asked me to my face if I’d sent her it.

*groans*

And so I point-blank denied it!!!

I still kick myself for that today!  I was terrified at the thought of admitting that to her, so I didn’t!!!

Maybe she knew, maybe she didn’t… either way, I’m a -ing rubberhead.

A few months later she ended up with someone else at a school disco, and that was my first heartbreak….

A very hard lesson learned, as we went to different high schools, and I never saw her again – apart from one weird psychic dream incident that I saw her after, but was too shocked to speak to her and she never saw me…

7 years later I still thought and dreamed about her.  I like to think that after all that time, it taught me NEVER to sit and say nothing again.

Tell them!!!

Get out there, and send that girl or boy you fancy a Valentines Card – and SIGN IT from you!!!

What have you got to lose?  You’ll regret it if you don’t!

Umm, I wouldn’t recommend doing it in kidnapping style though… although… maybe there’s a great idea there for some ‘holding my heart hostage’ comment…

Hope you all have a great day, and send SOMEONE a card – it’ll make their day!

***Special Note***
The girl concerned in this is now a friend on Facebook.  This blog is actually a repost from a few years ago, and I DID come clean and even gave her the link to this blog!  She said she always suspected it was from me!

Failing The Driving Theory Test…

Failing The Driving Theory Test…

… is what I didn’t do!

I got 49 out of 50 for the questions, 66 out of 75 for hazard awareness video test, and a new Chicken Temptation footlong from Subway.

A pass is 43, 44 and a 6” Sub Of The Day respectively.

I held off on saying it was a piece of piss until I read the letter properly – after the test I just read the first word, so I’m glad it didn’t say “Congratualtions you’ve failed!”!

After riding on the roads for 10 years, I should bloody well think I passed, too!  I’m very mildly pleased, but to put that into perspective I was much more chuffed with the Chicken Temptation Sub.  Now if I pass the Practical test first time, THEN I’ll be pleased with myself…

OK, for you ‘Merkins who apparently have to be able to open the car door and switch it on to pass, I believe the British test is the toughest in the world.

The Theory Test consists of 50 multiple choice questions about The Highway Code and Road Signs, plus lots of Common Sense and a bit of First Aid thrown in.

The Hazard Perception test is tougher.  You have to sit through a video as if you’re driving a car, and click when you see any hazard which may make you change your speed or take other avoiding actions.  Basically you need to practise where they want you to click.

It’s much the same as the GCSE exams at school – you learn to pass the test rather than how to live in The Real World.

I did find an excellent site to practise, though:

http://www.theory-test.co.uk

Pass the link on to anyone in need.  You pay a few quid and get access to all the test questions, mock exams, and hazard videos and stuff.  Awesome site.

It also has a couple of free tests so feel free to have a go, if you want to see what we have to go through.

So that’s it!  Almost there, and now I’ll put in for my Practical Test, as there’ll be around a 7 week wait.

The penny seems to have dropped with my driving, despite only having had 7 or 8 lessons.  Normal driving seems pretty natural to me now, and I’m confident of controlling the car rather than being a pansy.

On the last lesson I tried reversing around a corner and parallel parking for the first times with no problems – just a bit more practise needed and it should be fine… then I just have to learn bay parking and do an emergency stop (they call it something gayer these days).

Meanwhile, the monstrous Fiat Uno sits waiting to terrorise the streets with a Nasty Evil Ninja at the reins…

Soon….

Being Driven to Distraction…

Being Driven to Distraction…

Last night I had my, umm… sixth driving lesson?  Something like that.

I make the odd cock-up, but generally it’s all going well.  I don’t really have any problems just driving around the streets, and can now do a three point turn and stuff.

I still have to try all the reversing and parking malarkey, but I just keep reminding myself that little shitty snot-nosed 17 year olds learn this shit, so it CAN’T be hard!

I don’t have a fear of the car, or of going over 10mph like most learners do.  I’m still well on track for the exam – which is good because I’ve bought a package of 22 lessons plus theory and practical tests for £550.  If I don’t use all the lessons then they’ll even refund their cost!

Brian The Instructor is cool and we’re getting on well, and more importantly we’re working well together!  I think he appreciates my laid-back attitude and sense of humour because it’s close to his own.

One thing I have noticed is that I’m starting to sympathise a bit with car drivers now.

You often hear people say how car drivers should be made to ride a bike so that they appreciate the awareness and skill it takes, and it will benefit their driving greatly.  Well, as a biker moving to cars I have to say that the opposite is also true: that every biker should be made to drive a car.

There are a lot of situations where on a bike normally I’d be ranting at the idiotic car driver, but now I’ve been on the other side I can sympathise and understand that idiotic car driver.  Not that this knowledge will stop me ranting at them next time it happens when I’m on the bike, but at least I understand a bit more now.

The overall impression I’m getting is that driving a car is designed to take your attention off your surroundings and off the act of driving safely.

On the bike I’m ALWAYS aware of my riding, the roads, surrounding traffic… just about everything from birds flying past to the sound of my engine.

In a car I feel like I’m sat in a big lump of heavy metal that’s tenuously controlled by me.  It doesn’t lend itself to concentrating.

It’s boring.

I think of the lessons as a bit of a chore rather than anything I look forward to.  When I’m actually driving it’s ok, but I just can’t get excited about it all.  To me it’s a necessary evil that will allow me to carry lots of shit, take my girlfriend away places, and stop me getting killed on the snow and ice during Winter.

I’m driving now – but I’m still 100% a biker…