Women Should Pay The Same Insurance As Men

Women Should Pay The Same Insurance As Men

Insurers cannot charge different premiums to men and women because of their gender, the European Court of Justice (ECJ) has ruled.



I’ve long championed the view that I stole from Dub War: “Equal rights is for EVERYBODY!”

It’s why things like groups JUST for minorities (of whatever sort) piss me off.  Not only are they segregating themselves, but they make everyone else who never thought of you as different/oppressed/whatever as being, well, different, oppressed or whatever.  And probably makes some people hate you.

So this latest thing about insurance makes me laugh.

Women always say they want ‘equal rights’ as long as it actually means ‘in womens favour’.  When it means ‘equal with men’ a whole shitstorm kicks up!

So you want it equal?  Welcome to paying the same insurance costs as men!

It’s long been said that women are safer drivers than men.  Men, especially younger men, are assumed to jump in a car and drive it as fast as possible until they crash and end up in a fireball, costing the insurance companies millions.

Well I call bullshit.

Whilst there are SOME men who drive like that, I know at least an equal number who drive very safely and conservatively.  Conversely, I know a LOT of women who drive like spastics.

Sure, there ARE women who drive everywhere as quickly as possible, but I’m talking about the other kind of terrible drivers here…

For example, the ones who drive slowly because it’s ‘safer’ – even if it means doing 50mph on a motorway… Or the ones so nervous about driving they would probably die if they ever had to deviate from the three very precise routes they feel just about confident to drive on.

As a biker I see lots of poor driving on the roads.  I’m not going to say it’s all by women – in fact in my honest opinion it’s probably a fairly equal split.

But when it comes to drivers not paying the slightest bit of attention, I have to say women take the crown.

I’ve never seen a man driving along whilst applying make-up.  I don’t see men checking the mirrors every two minutes – not to look at other traffic, but to check their hair is still ok!  I mean, for fucks sake you’re in a car!  You’re not going to pull anyone, nobody gives a kippers dick what you look like, so what in the Holy Blue Fuck are you doing???


And you won’t see many mens cars around with glaring pink fluffy shit filling the interior, topped off with huge swinging fluffy dice, “Mrs Edward Cullen On Board” signs obscuring their blind spots, and Lord only knows what else!

Statistics my arse!  Here’s your average statistic for safe women drivers – this car was driven by two young women happily chatting away doing around 50mph in the overtaking lane of a totally clear dual carriageway:

Maybe men crash at higher speed, bigger accidents, but if you’re telling me women don’t have more low-speed bumps due to not paying attention or just being a dick, I’ll challenge your claims all day long.  Plus todays culture itself means many women are trying to imitate men with binge drinking and ‘ladette’ behavious etc.  You think this doesn’t extend to driving?

Strange, perhaps, because as I’ve noted before every female motorcyclist I’ve known has been an excellent rider…

Doing A Suicidal 129mph!

Doing A Suicidal 129mph!

That’s the actual line I heard in an episode of ‘Police, Camera, Action’ the other night, as they filmed Police following a driver on a UK three lane motorway: “Doing a SUICIDAL 129mph!!!”

As if 130 would have made him instantly drop dead from speed?!

Because we all know that speed kills…

Never mind lack of skill, inattention or a poorly maintained vehicle.  Nope – these are all perfectly safe as long as you NEVER go above the speed limits that were set for the vehicles of 46 years ago

Don’t get me wrong here – we need some limits and I’m all in favour of 30mph zones and respect them totally.  They’re almost always there for a reason (schools, dangerous roads, old biddies crossing etc).  40mph zones are a bit more dodgy as they seem to have changed a lot of previously 60mph roads to 40mph limits for no known reason… But 70mph on a modern three lane motorway is ludicrous!


Let me just put that into perspective for you.  Here is an ‘average’ car for 1965:

1965 Triumph 2000
This kicked out a mighty 89 bhp

And here is 2010’s ‘average’ car:

2010 Ford Focus
This wheezes out a measly 140 bhp

The braking road holding abilities of cars has come just as far, too – and that’s without any electric aids such as stability control.

And we shouldn’t forget how much road building technology has advanced, and the signage on the roads…

I think most cars in 1965 struggled to even reach 70mph!  Now most will cruise at 100 without too much stress…

If you actually DO 70mph on a motorway these days, you’ll find just about everything will come streaming past you.  85 is the new 70, baby!  And to be fair that probably is a nice sensible new speed.  There are people who still do 50mph on motorways, so you can bet they’ll still be doing that speed even if limits are raised, and for the rest of us it makes life a lot easier…

Or how about going even further and introducing an advanced license to let people do faster speeds – only on motorways.  100mph?  Unlimited?  You’d have to prove you could pay attention and display forward planning, and if you did cause an accidents penalties should be severe…

And put motorway driving in the driving test – focusing on making sure people stay in the -ing left hand lane unless they’re overtaking!

You know – just common sense?

It’ll never catch on…


Putting ‘BIKER’ On The Census As Your Religion

Putting ‘BIKER’ On The Census As Your Religion

It’s coming around again soon – the Gubbinment will be sending you a load of questions at great expense to the taxpayers so that… umm… they know more stuff about us?



The important thing this time around is that when they ask me what religion I am, I am going to say it loud and proud that I am A Biker.

The road is my God, and the pathway there, too.

When I ride my bike it is a spiritual experience.  It’s a comfort to me when I feel lost or down.

Riding ‘in the zone’ is like a form of meditation.  It’s Zanshin – total awareness – as I try to see my surroundings before they happen, listening to every roar and click from my bike and trying my best to make sure as I execute my religion that nobody else is adversely affected by it.

We even have Priests – the mechanics who will fix up our trusty steeds and get us back on track.

A lot of us even just ride on Sundays!  And we have those living Gods amongst us:


And think of the benefits or getting our religion recognised!

Would a petrol station be allowed to force us to remove our helmet if it’s religious clothing?

Could they continue forcing us to pay such high tax on petrol – essentially taxing our religion?

It is my form of worship.  Being a Biker means I enjoy life, and get more out of it because of my choices.

We’re family out there – nodding a greeting as we pass total strangers simply because they’re on a bike.  Sure, there are different faction within the Biking religion – the Sportbikers have some hostility towards Harley Davidson riders, and everyone dislikes Scooter riders.  Motard riders are just thugs.  We’re not going to go to war over it, though, and many of us treat everyone under the Biker banner equally, as it’s something that unifies us all.


If you ride a bike, I bet you’ve put more effort into that than you have the made-up-deity, war-causing, only-when-it-suits-you religion that someone decided they’d choose for you before you were out of nappies!

It’s got to be done!

It is the time to show the World what we REALLY believe in!

Just put that single word as your religion: Biker.


***EDIT***: There is now a Facebook group for this, so get theeself joined and spread the word: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_169227299791835

Car Vs. Bike

Car Vs. Bike


I always heard that although bikes will slaughter cars accelerating in a straight line, in the corners and on the brakes is a cars domain.

Your average 190 section superbike has a contact patch around the size of the palm of your hand to put close to 1000hp per tonne through.  For a start you won’t get many cars these days with tyres less than 190 wide – and of course they have two or even four driver wheels to get their power onto the asphalt.

Plus when hard on the power the car won’t be trying to flip itself over backwards, so you’d think a decent car would be able to whupp a bike from a standstill.

Unfortunately bikes are a Hell of a lot lighter, us bikers are able to get our beer bellies weighted over the front end, and even a bad start will see 60mph in around 3 seconds.  Most car drivers don’t understand this when they see us “Shooting off from the lights like a drag race!!” – the chances are we’re taking it easy but your car does 60 in more like TEN seconds.  Think about it.

To quote myself whilst explaining how fast bikes accelerate:  You know how you walk at, say, 4mph?  And you sort of take that very first step and are already at maximum walking speed?  That’s like how a sportsbike hits 30mph.  I could pull out into traffic between two cars (leaving your obligatory 2 second gap, of course) and be up to speed without anyone having to brake to avoid me.

If you haven’t ridden a fast bike you can’t even comprehend it.  It’s a blessing.  It’s silly.  It’s far too fast for the roads.  And to even begin to think that a lot of cars don’t have a rev counter?!  WTF?  I have no idea what the Fiat revs to, but I can only guess that it’s less than my ZX9R’s 12,500rpm?  And the Fiat certainly doesn’t do over 80mph in first gear…

Now, as any of my regular readers will know, after 10 years of riding sportsbikes I took and passed my car driving license a few months back.

OK, so I’ve only got some skinny-tyred Fiat Uno, but it’s weird.  I still find myself driving sometimes and think “What the fuck??  What the Hell am I doing in a CAR??? How did this happen?”.


This is often followed by muttering about “Monkey drive car!  Oo-ooh OOKA OHH!!!”.

I have to recalibrate my whole brain to deal with the road speed differences.  The car is like being in one of those nightmares where you’re trying to run but can’t go fast.  Everything happens in verrrrrrryy slowwwww motionnnnnn….

And I’ve done a skid control course, tried to push the car, and fully intend of getting a racecar on a track ASAP.

Other than pulling out on islands and at junctions which require about five times the space of a bike in laziest mode, the thing that’s getting me is the corner speed.

Four tyres and loads of grip, and I’ve always just assumed cars are faster in corners… but that just isn’t the case!

In the Uno I’ve tried the Redditch Cloverleaf a few times and the ‘safe’ speed is about HALF what it is on a bike  I was horrified the first time as I drove into the first corner at a very conservative speed and still felt I had to brake.  And what a weird viewpoint it is compared to having your head banked over all the way to the left about 18 inches from the tarmac!

I’m still to drive a high performance car, but I just can’t see it pushing my limits like the bike does?  It’s too easy!

And riding a bike at 190mph is possible, and feels ‘OK’.  To be doing 120+ ina  huge metal box of a car, with all those forces involved if you do come a cropper???  Terrifying.

I think if I’d done this the other way around (i.e. had a car for 10 years and THEN a sportsbike), I’d just be absolutely terrified of the bike every time I threw my leg over it.

They’re an awesome vehicle to be privileged to ride – and I mean that ‘awesome’ in the truest and most lost meaning of that word.


I Ar Serious Driver. This Ar Serious Test.

I Ar Serious Driver.  This Ar Serious Test.


So after around 23 lessons, the Test Day was finally upon me.

I don’t get nervous for exams.  Even driving on the lesson immediately before my test I only had around three small pangs of adrenalin when I thought about the challenge ahead.  I was thinking that I knew how to drive, so what was the difference who sat next to me telling me what to do?  Brian, my instructor had trained me up well and did a good job on the day of relaxing me and building the confidence up – as it was I was driving perfectly anyway!

I sat in the test centre waiting to be called, getting a bit more nervous now.  I was comparing it to the feeling I get on a trackday, and trying to use that same focus. The problem is that compared to preparing to go out onto a race circuit on a strange bike to do 170+ mph REALLY doesn’t compare to being about to pootle around to get a damned car license!  I guess when your goal posts for what constitutes ‘drama’ in life have been moved so drastically forwards, it helps with the lesser stuff.

I really wanted to pass, but my reasons were more for convenience than necessity…  I tried to keep the focus as I signed the paperwork and walked with Colin – my examiner – out to the car.

First he asked me to open the bonnet (that’s “pop the hood” to you Yanks) and show him where I’d fill the car with windscreen wash.  Nice and easy!  Then we got into the car and he asked me another question which I can’t remember!  Maybe it was about checking tyre pressures?  These are all set ‘Show and Tell’ type questions, and very easy, anyway.

I started up and pulled out of the test centre trying to stay relaxed and taking it easy – I was behind another learner on their test who was slower than a three-legged dog, which wasn’t helping.  I was driving well until we came to a right turn, when Cunty-Bollock in front was taking it so slowly I reached the point where I had to either stall or get the handbrake on (this was also on a hill) – I chose to risk it… lost the biting point of the clutch, started rolling backwards towards the car behind, floored the throttle to try and catch it on the revs, and made the turn.

“That wasn’t very good.”  I said.  No answer…  I thought that could fail me.  It was certainly borderline.

Trying not to get flustered, he asked me to pull into the side of the road.  When I pulled off I realised all I’d done was check my rear view mirror and side mirror – missing the other three observations I should have made!  Oh fuck my life!  He made me pull over another few times and I made sure I did ALL the checks hoping he’d let me off…

He asked me to try reversing around a really awkward corner that was uphill with a nightmare curb to follow.  I’m not very good at using the gas on the manoeuvers.  I let it roll on the clutch, so to try this on a hill too steep to do that was a bastard.  I dabbed the throttle and keep it controlled, despite having to stop about 10 times for other vehicles, which I was hoping I’d reacted to quickly enough for him.  This was not looking great for the Cater Kid…

More driving around (flawlessly, I thought) and then I was told to do the Turn In The Road.  I nailed it.  Perfect control and obs.

I pulled out of it to drive off and I’d put the fucker in third gear!!!  ARGHH!!!  It stalled in the middle of the road at an angle and I just thought that was the test over!

“I don’t BELIEVE I’ve just put it in third!”  I said, to no answer again.

What an absolute bastard!  I was flushed and rattled, knowing that was it, now.  He asked me to pull into the side of the road straight after, and I honestly thought he might tell me he was terminating the test because I was dangerous, or something.

He asked me to drive on, and I thought about just fucking it all in and driving like shite all the way back – I decided to just stick with it and try and make the rest as perfect as I could.  I had no hope, but thought I may as well try… I felt like absolute crap.

We got back to the test centre and I felt bad as I saw Brian stood waiting, book in hand like an expectant Father.  I’d let him down.

I was asked to park in one of the bays, and I drove straight in, stopping at a bit of an angle and even asking the examiner if he wanted me to straighten it up?  To my surprise he said I was pretty much in the bay, and I could just drive forward, turning a little more and that would do.

I switched off as Brian came to the window to hear the debrief.

“The test is now over and despite-”

Fuck me!  I thought – what does he mean ‘despite’????  This sounds a  bit good!

“-a few errors I’m pleased to tell you that you’ve passed.”

I couldn’t believe it!!!!

I thanked him profusely and tried to figure out how the Hell I’d done it, as he waffled on about the errors to Brian – as it turned out I only got FOUR minor errors out of the allowed fifteen!

I got out and Brian gave me a big old hug, obviously chuffed to bits for me, and of course I thanked him, too!

So that’s it!  I’m on the road in a car now!

Maybe I’ll start vlogging from inside the Fiat??

First Car Insurance/F*ck You, Your Family, And All Your Family’s Pets

First Car Insurance/F*ck You, Your Family, And All Your Family’s Pets

Today I decided to get some rough quotes to insure me as a first time driver.

I used the links to search engines from www.moneysavingexpert.com (an invaluable resource for EVERYTHING if you’re in the UK), filling in as many of my details as I could, and then sat back and waited for the quotes…

Now, bearing in mind that for a high-performance, 190mph superbike that I’ve ridden for 10 years I’m looking at £170 for fully comprehensive insurance, how much would you think an old 1 litre Fiat Uno worth around £300 will cost to insure?

If you guessed around SEVEN HUNDRED FUCKING POUNDS then you’re right.

Yes, you read that right – £700!!!  And that was for 3rd Party Fire & Theft – which is somehow cheaper than fully comp or 3rd Party Only?!?

Gee, I like you, Mr Insurance Man – you can come over to my house and fuck my sister!

For £700 I could hire a fucking limo to take me to work every day over Winter, and sip on Champagne watching the world go by without being bent over and pounded in my balloon knot by you cunts!

How about that?!


I hope to God none of them phone me up about the quotes.  If they do I might try and record the conversation.

So fuck all that for now – I’m just going to pass the test and then worry about it all.  I know some bike insurance companies like Carole Nash let you use your No Claims Bonus on both car and bike, so that might be worth looking at.  I’m sure there’ll be some way of getting it down, anyway…

I can totally see why so many people don’t bother getting any insurance and just risk it.


Being Driven to Distraction…

Being Driven to Distraction…

Last night I had my, umm… sixth driving lesson?  Something like that.

I make the odd cock-up, but generally it’s all going well.  I don’t really have any problems just driving around the streets, and can now do a three point turn and stuff.

I still have to try all the reversing and parking malarkey, but I just keep reminding myself that little shitty snot-nosed 17 year olds learn this shit, so it CAN’T be hard!

I don’t have a fear of the car, or of going over 10mph like most learners do.  I’m still well on track for the exam – which is good because I’ve bought a package of 22 lessons plus theory and practical tests for £550.  If I don’t use all the lessons then they’ll even refund their cost!

Brian The Instructor is cool and we’re getting on well, and more importantly we’re working well together!  I think he appreciates my laid-back attitude and sense of humour because it’s close to his own.

One thing I have noticed is that I’m starting to sympathise a bit with car drivers now.

You often hear people say how car drivers should be made to ride a bike so that they appreciate the awareness and skill it takes, and it will benefit their driving greatly.  Well, as a biker moving to cars I have to say that the opposite is also true: that every biker should be made to drive a car.

There are a lot of situations where on a bike normally I’d be ranting at the idiotic car driver, but now I’ve been on the other side I can sympathise and understand that idiotic car driver.  Not that this knowledge will stop me ranting at them next time it happens when I’m on the bike, but at least I understand a bit more now.

The overall impression I’m getting is that driving a car is designed to take your attention off your surroundings and off the act of driving safely.

On the bike I’m ALWAYS aware of my riding, the roads, surrounding traffic… just about everything from birds flying past to the sound of my engine.

In a car I feel like I’m sat in a big lump of heavy metal that’s tenuously controlled by me.  It doesn’t lend itself to concentrating.

It’s boring.

I think of the lessons as a bit of a chore rather than anything I look forward to.  When I’m actually driving it’s ok, but I just can’t get excited about it all.  To me it’s a necessary evil that will allow me to carry lots of shit, take my girlfriend away places, and stop me getting killed on the snow and ice during Winter.

I’m driving now – but I’m still 100% a biker…