Panic Buying Petrol

Panic Buying Petrol

The first I knew about this were Facebook statuses reporting huge queues of cars around local petrol stations.

I’m pretty adept now at completely avoiding the news, so had a quick look on the BBC website to find out what current crisis might have triggered this off.  And there isn’t one.

Petrol Tanker drivers were talking about going on strike for more money because their job is dangerous.

Let me just stop there to go off on a tangent:  These drivers are paid £45,000 per year.  And they want more.  I’d be happy to be earning HALF of what they’re getting.  And they want more?  Aww – poor diddums!  You can only afford to buy the one fucking BMW every year, now, can you?  I’ll tell you what – I’LL do their ‘dangerous’ job for £35,000 per year and smile every day!  The Police don’t even get £45,000 per year!!!

So, yes – back on track…

It seems that some twatbag politician had ‘advised’ that people top up their tanks and fill some jerry cans with petrol before they went into talks with the poor hard-done-by truckers.

So the dumb-ass Chavvy masses of course all went down to their local forecourt to fill every orrifice with petrol.

THERE IS NO CRISIS!!!!

And now, thanks to these dickheads, all petrol prices have gone up at least another 10p per litre (don’t even get me started on THAT one) because everyone is falling over themselves to pay it!

I haven’t filled up in a week because I didn’t need to.  This morning I had to wait in a queue at 07:30 because these rubberheads were all out early again, when all I want is enough fuel to get me to work!

STOP BEING PRICKS!!!

All of you.

WE’RE BREEDING A GENERATION OF PUSSY-ASSED RETARDS!

WE’RE BREEDING A GENERATION OF PUSSY-ASSED RETARDS!

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Following on from my rant yesterday about everyones knee-jerk reaction to children grappling inside a ‘cage’, watching the news today confirmed why people are even thinking this way.

So what was todays ‘Get Nasty Evil Ninja Swearing And Wanting To Slap The Eyebrows Off People’ story?

School bans leather footballs from playground

*breathes deeply and counts to 10*

So, in case any of the little darlings in our schools get hurt whilst standing around in the areas where other children are playing ball games, schools across the UK have started to ban the use of traditional leather footballs in favour of sponge balls.

Yeah?!  I’ll tell you who’s got the fucking sponge balls!  YOU, YOU HEALTH & SAFETY COCK-NOSES!!!

We’re already shit at football in England, and now they’re taking away the realism of even learning to hone our skills in the playground?  Get real!

If you get hit in the head with a ball, then chances are you were playing in the same area as they were playing ball games.  Or playing the game yourself.  Either way it’s tough titty!

What next?  Ban kids from running around lest they have a little fliddy fall over and tear their petticoat?

Ban them from bending down or jumping?

Hopscotch?  Jumping on ONE leg?  Oh no no no!  They must now walk, trying to keep both feet on the floor and wearing a special helmet, elbow and knee pads!

Our kids are already getting more retarded with each year, so how the Hell is pandering to the lowest common denominator helping anyone?  Let the clumsy little bastards hurt themselves and they might learn not to do it again – don’t change the whole fucking World around them to make amends!

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They already brought in a rule years ago that kids aren’t allowed to play conkers without first wearing protective goggles, games like British Bulldog was banned on the first day of every term all through my school life, and I’ve even heard from a friend in Canada that they’ve banned the netting on the backs of the goal in case kids ‘get tangled up in them’!?!

They can’t even do Sack Races in school sports days, incase they fall over…  Not that they’d be allowed to win or lose the race, anyway…

Do they still let kids do science lessons?  I’m sure craft lessons are long gone to stop them accidentally stabbing themselves or bludgeoning each other to death with cotton reels and crepe paper!

It’s time the fuck-tards in charge of Health and Safety accept that humans have been doing this crap for centuries without dying out.  Surely Judges and solicitors can get real and throw out cases on the grounds of Darwinism?

Yeah, the meek are inheriting the Earth, alright…

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Holiday Rage

Holiday Rage

Right, first off, even that title pisses me off.  It’s fucking CHRISTMAS – not ‘the Holiday Season’, ‘the Festive Period’ or whatever else you dumb cunts keep trying to change it to!

I’m not religious, but even I know it’s bloody Christmas!

Stop.  It.

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This year, most of us sensible ones will have managed to do almost all our CHRISTMAS shopping online.

So how in the blue-knobbed CHRIST are you all still pissing about in the shops like a bunch of stray mental patients???

It’s Hell out there!  I mostly use one of those self-scan thingies at the local supermarket to dodge the queues, but now all the Christmas Numpties have caught on to it, too.  Except that they can’t fucking grasp the concept of scanning the bar code on an item and then putting it in the designated area.  Look, it’s hard, so fuck off back to the tills and let me get on with it!

And what’s happened to all those smug bastards who started their Christmas shopping back in July?  I’ll tell you what’s happened – they’re in those bastard crowds of shoppers still!

Next year, if you tell me you’ve started buying Christmas presents before mid-November “to beat the rush”, I am going to kick you in the cunt.  Hard.

And yes, I do understand that the majority of the braindead twats shuffling about the place are buying essentials like food for Christmas.  And let me just tell you something:

THE SHOPS ARE CLOSED FOR ABOUT TWENTY FOUR FUCKING HOURS!

You’re not going to starve to death!  Stop buying like there’s a nuclear war coming, then we can all relax and just shop normally!

And what’s with all the wheelchairs and stuff?

Is it just me, or is every cripple in the UK out for a joyride at peak shopping times this year?

It’s no wonder so many shops are going bust – I couldn’t even get to the damn stuff for Wheeley Old People (get it???) in Shopmobility carts, fatties being wheeled around on oversized skateboards, and any other immobile cunt they can put wheels on and push into the busiest crowd they can.  And yes, this includes YOU, with your pushchair that’s bigger than a 1950’s Cadillac!

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And all this to the lovely accompaniment of the same songs we’ve heard every shitting year after year after year after year after year…

Even without having some tit coughing their Christmas Cheer down the back of my neck, whilst his dozy lummox of a wife abandons her shopping cart in the middle of the aisle AGAIN as she waddles off to poke a mince pie three aisles down, Christmas Music sends me almost instantly psychotic.

Talk about bringing out the misanthrope – mine comes out like a trap-door spider covered in tinsel and anger!

You bastards!

If I haven’t killed you – hope you have a great Christmas.

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