Holiday Rage

Holiday Rage

Right, first off, even that title pisses me off. It’s fucking CHRISTMAS – not ‘the holiday season’ or ‘festive period’ or whatever you dumb cunts keep trying to change it to!

I’m not religious, but even I know it’s bloody Christmas!

Stop. It.

This year, I’ve managed to do almost all my CHRISTMAS shopping online. I’m sure most others will be able to say the same.

So how in the blue-knobbed CHRIST are you all still pissing about in the shops like a bunch of stray mental patients???

It’s Hell out there! All the Christmas Numpties have caught on to those self-scan thingies at supermarkets, too. Except that they can’t fucking grasp the concept of scanning the bar code on an item and then putting it in the designated area. Look, it’s hard, so fuck off back to the tills and let me get on with it!

And what’s happened to all those smug bastards who started their Christmas shopping back in July? I’ll tell you what’s happened – they’re in those bastard crowds of shoppers still!

Next year, if you tell me you’ve started buying Christmas presents before mid-November “to beat the rush”, I am going to kick you in the cunt. Hard.

And yes, I do understand that the majority of the braindead twats shuffling about the place are buying essentials like food for Christmas. And let me just tell you something:

THE SHOPS ARE CLOSED FOR ABOUT TWENTY FOUR FUCKING HOURS!

You’re not going to starve to death! Stop buying like there’s a nuclear war coming, then we can all relax and just shop normally!

And is it just me, or is every cripple or anyone on wheels in the UK out for a joyride at peak shopping times this year? Wheeley Old People (get it???) in Shopmobility carts, fatties being wheeled around on oversized skateboards, and any other immobile cunt they can put wheels on and push into the busiest crowd seems to be blocking everyones way. And yes, this includes YOU, with your pushchair that’s bigger than a 1950’s Cadillac!

And all this to the lovely accompaniment of the same 40 songs we’ve heard every shitting year after year after year after year after year…

Even without having some tit coughing their Christmas Cheer down the back of my neck, whilst his dozy lummox of a wife abandons her shopping cart in the middle of the aisle AGAIN as she waddles off to poke a mince pie three aisles down, Christmas Music sends me almost instantly psychotic.

Talk about bringing out the misanthrope – at Christmas mine comes out like a trap-door spider covered in tinsel and anger!

You bastards!

If I haven’t killed you – hope you have a great Christmas.

Holiday Rage

Holiday Rage

Right, first off, even that title pisses me off. It’s fucking CHRISTMAS – not ‘the holiday season’ or ‘festive period’ or whatever you dumb cunts keep trying to change it to!

I’m not religious, but even I know it’s bloody Christmas!

Stop. It.

This year, I’ve managed to do almost all my CHRISTMAS shopping online. I’m sure most others will be able to say the same.

So how in the blue-knobbed CHRIST are you all still pissing about in the shops like a bunch of stray mental patients???

It’s Hell out there! All the Christmas Numpties have caught on to those self-scan thingies at supermarkets, too. Except that they can’t fucking grasp the concept of scanning the bar code on an item and then putting it in the designated area. Look, it’s hard, so fuck off back to the tills and let me get on with it!

And what’s happened to all those smug bastards who started their Christmas shopping back in July? I’ll tell you what’s happened – they’re in those bastard crowds of shoppers still!

Next year, if you tell me you’ve started buying Christmas presents before mid-November “to beat the rush”, I am going to kick you in the cunt. Hard.

And yes, I do understand that the majority of the braindead twats shuffling about the place are buying essentials like food for Christmas. And let me just tell you something:

THE SHOPS ARE CLOSED FOR ABOUT TWENTY FOUR FUCKING HOURS!

You’re not going to starve to death! Stop buying like there’s a nuclear war coming, then we can all relax and just shop normally!

And is it just me, or is every cripple or anyone on wheels in the UK out for a joyride at peak shopping times this year? Wheeley Old People (get it???) in Shopmobility carts, fatties being wheeled around on oversized skateboards, and any other immobile cunt they can put wheels on and push into the busiest crowd seems to be blocking everyones way. And yes, this includes YOU, with your pushchair that’s bigger than a 1950’s Cadillac!

And all this to the lovely accompaniment of the same 40 songs we’ve heard every shitting year after year after year after year after year…

Even without having some tit coughing their Christmas Cheer down the back of my neck, whilst his dozy lummox of a wife abandons her shopping cart in the middle of the aisle AGAIN as she waddles off to poke a mince pie three aisles down, Christmas Music sends me almost instantly psychotic.

Talk about bringing out the misanthrope – at Christmas mine comes out like a trap-door spider covered in tinsel and anger!

You bastards!

If I haven’t killed you – hope you have a great Christmas.

Holiday Rage

Holiday Rage

Right, first off, even that title pisses me off.  It’s fucking CHRISTMAS – not ‘the Holiday Season’, ‘the Festive Period’ or whatever else you dumb cunts keep trying to change it to!

I’m not religious, but even I know it’s bloody Christmas!

Stop.  It.

https://i2.wp.com/www.liffeyvalley.ie/uploads/RTEmagicC_Festive-menu-promo.jpg.jpg

This year, most of us sensible ones will have managed to do almost all our CHRISTMAS shopping online.

So how in the blue-knobbed CHRIST are you all still pissing about in the shops like a bunch of stray mental patients???

It’s Hell out there!  I mostly use one of those self-scan thingies at the local supermarket to dodge the queues, but now all the Christmas Numpties have caught on to it, too.  Except that they can’t fucking grasp the concept of scanning the bar code on an item and then putting it in the designated area.  Look, it’s hard, so fuck off back to the tills and let me get on with it!

And what’s happened to all those smug bastards who started their Christmas shopping back in July?  I’ll tell you what’s happened – they’re in those bastard crowds of shoppers still!

Next year, if you tell me you’ve started buying Christmas presents before mid-November “to beat the rush”, I am going to kick you in the cunt.  Hard.

And yes, I do understand that the majority of the braindead twats shuffling about the place are buying essentials like food for Christmas.  And let me just tell you something:

THE SHOPS ARE CLOSED FOR ABOUT TWENTY FOUR FUCKING HOURS!

You’re not going to starve to death!  Stop buying like there’s a nuclear war coming, then we can all relax and just shop normally!

And what’s with all the wheelchairs and stuff?

Is it just me, or is every cripple in the UK out for a joyride at peak shopping times this year?

It’s no wonder so many shops are going bust – I couldn’t even get to the damn stuff for Wheeley Old People (get it???) in Shopmobility carts, fatties being wheeled around on oversized skateboards, and any other immobile cunt they can put wheels on and push into the busiest crowd they can.  And yes, this includes YOU, with your pushchair that’s bigger than a 1950’s Cadillac!

https://i2.wp.com/www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/lha/lowres/lhan43l.jpg

And all this to the lovely accompaniment of the same songs we’ve heard every shitting year after year after year after year after year…

Even without having some tit coughing their Christmas Cheer down the back of my neck, whilst his dozy lummox of a wife abandons her shopping cart in the middle of the aisle AGAIN as she waddles off to poke a mince pie three aisles down, Christmas Music sends me almost instantly psychotic.

Talk about bringing out the misanthrope – mine comes out like a trap-door spider covered in tinsel and anger!

You bastards!

If I haven’t killed you – hope you have a great Christmas.

https://i2.wp.com/www.sensualism.com/cuteness/tai-chan.jpg

Hey – What Do I Get For NOT Having Kids???

Hey – What Do I Get For NOT Having Kids???

Parents spend their whole life having a whinge.

Most people can’t remember how much they whinged before they had kids, but once they have managed the near-impossible and highly skilled act of getting pregnant, it’s nothing but moaning.

https://i2.wp.com/oliphantparts.org/photos/emmett_scream.jpg

 

Suddenly they’re entitled to everything.

Oh they’ll moan that school and college is expensive, but what they won’t want to see is that MY taxes are paying for the -ing school to be there in the first place!  And what do I get from it?

An investment in the future?  Yeah right!  Aren’t we all going to die of Global Warming/cancer/AIDS/starving to death whilst unsable to get off Facebook, anyway???

Now, ignoring the fact that when your kid gets sick sometimes YOU’LL be the one who has time off work to look after them, what about the holidays you get for free such as maternity/paternity leave?

Is there a version of that for the childless that we can apply for?

And then the Gubbinmint give you money. Just… GIVE you a payment each week.  For having a baby you couldn’t afford to pay for on your own.  “Sure – we’ll give you money towards that!  Why not have another kid and we’ll give you even more!”

https://i0.wp.com/chuvachienes.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/condom-364.jpg

 

Shouldn’t I get some kind of bonus for NOT costing the country money in benefits?  Oh no, that’s right – I get to pay for it instead!

It’s simple enough to control.  I mean, if you have kids then you lose the childless benefit and go onto the ones for having children.  Hell, it might even be some kind of incentive for people to WORK and not turn into layabout dole scum!

I know we’re never supposed to speak out about this kind of thing, and all the parents instantly get the pitchforks out if anyone without children dares to form any kind of opinion about issues to do with parenting, but doesn’t this make sense?

If the parents had to fund yearly Singles Holidays for the childless then how would they feel about that?  And yet they’re fine with the childless paying towards their benefits, hospital bills and time off work.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: It’s much harder NOT to have children than it is TO have them!  Can you imagine the peer pressure a couple gets when they don’t have a baby?  can you imagine the pain and anguish it can cause when you fucking imbecile Breeders drop hints and put the pressure on, when a couple doesn’t want kids – or even worse, they CAN’T have them?

I bet you’ve said it to someone.

*points*

And then to add insult to injury I have to pay stupid money for condoms to avoid getting into the whole benefits situation in the first place!

https://i0.wp.com/vidbunker.com/funny_condoms_commercial_screaming_kid.jpg