50 Shades Of Grey – Acceptable Porn
I had this rant back in 2012. I’m pretty sure the whole of society managed to agree on the fact that the books were utter shite.
Well, apparently not.
We have been treated to the film version!
Oh yes! Some skinny wench with ribs hanging out everywhere is now up on the big screen with her brooding-yet-powerful and equally as wooden co-star, and you get to sit in a cinema paddling away at your pink bits while everyone pretends to laugh about it all.
So here is my original blog on the ‘phenomenon’ – just replace the word ‘book’ with ‘film’ and feel free to go at it again:
You have probably been battered around your lady-parts lately by all this excitement over the book ’50 Shades Of Grey’ by E. L. James.
Everyone is going mental over it… err… ok – so by ‘everyone’ I mean the same kind of women who went mental over the Harry Potter books. Of course, with this book being of actual adult material, it’s been attracting the interest of even more people than the scarf-wearing geeky twat for retards.
And speaking of twats – that’s pretty much what 50 Shades Of Grey is all about!Don’t get me wrong – I’m all for porn. Just stop trying to dress it up as something else!
Oh, sure – they’ll call it ‘erotic fiction’, but essentially that just means it’s all the writing from pornographic magazines compiled and expanded without the pictures.And ‘erotica’ is never just about straight sex anymore. It’ll be whips, chains, spanking, klyster suits and two girls eating each others shit out of a cup!
Yes, I AM a bitter ex-writer of erotica – and I’ve had this rant before about how ‘erotica’ these days can’t just be about a couple having sex. Apparently it’s not ‘sexy’ until a toy soldier gets shoved up someones arsehole.
So this book is pretty much designed to get women, in the words of ‘The Inbetweeners’, frothing at the gash.There will be lots of one-handed reading going on, if you know what I mean?
Even more astounding given this fact, is that so many people are trying to get hold of second-hand copies off others!?!
“Are the pages stuck together?” Would be my first question! Then I’d also be purchasing some disposable gloves and anti-bacterial gel.
I suppose one good thing that will come from this mass hysteria is that it may open up the market for erotic writing again… So maybe I should start reposting the stuff I used to put up for Sex Blog Thursday on MySpace?