“And then gently holding her thong to the side, he slid inside her…”

I used to be one of the main instigators for ‘Sex Blog Thursday’ on MySpace – where everyone would contribute by posting an erotic story or poem.  It’s quite shocking to think that it all ended 5 years ago, now!  Since then, I’ve been threatening to re-post some of the erotic short stories I wrote for this, but with most of my alias being now known through Facebook and stuff, I was too scared.

With the suddent spurting all over the scene by E L James and the ’50 Shades of Grey’ books, erotic fiction has now gone mainstream!  So, much as I tried to do with SBT, I’m going to post some of my erotica again to balance things out, and hopefully show that to be ‘erotic’ doesn’t mean you have to include bondage, spanking, and showing dolls up your arse to write something sexy.  You might even find some humour in my stories, too!  And so why not plunge in slow and deep with this one:

“And then gently holding her thong to the side, he slid inside her…”

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Yeah, they were bad – but as his finger stroked her own juices over her clit for the first time, neither of them cared.

With her parents in the room above them, only her gentle sigh broke the silence of the house, and she twisted next to him on the couch so that he could move his hands easier beneath her skirt.

He kissed her hard, one arm around her back as his other hand worked deep beneath her black lacy underwear.  The curve of her hips always seemed designed for his hands, and he pulled her tighter towards him.

Breaking off the kiss with another gasp, her hair fell forward over her face as her hands scrabbled at his trousers.

He took the moment to deeply inhale the clean smell of her hair, her perfume topping it off as she released him to the cool air in the room.

She pushed him back firmly as her hot lips slid over him, tongue flicking at him, only taking him in her mouth for a few strokes before he sat back on the couch herself.

He smiled, slipping off the couch to his knees, a hand on each of her spread thighs running up to move her skirt higher, then pulling her hips sharply towards his own as he shuffled closer between her legs.

She hooked a finger around the delicate material of her thong, and pulled it to one side, watching his face as he followed her fingers.

No further invitation was needed, but the hushed “I want your cock” sent tingles down his spine just as much as the feeling of his tip against her warm wetness.

He slid slowly and deliberately all the way inside her, watching himself sink into her, and only looking up to see her head thrown back in ecstasy when he could push in no further.

He held himself there, and then lifted her hips off the couch, pulling her even more onto him, watching her face intently.  He lowered her as he slowly slid all the way out of her, her eyes flicking open to meet his for a fleeting second before he thrust quickly and deeply into her, lifting her with his hands again.

This time she cried out, biting the knuckles of one hand to stifle the cry, and grabbing at his arms.

Leaning forwards over her as he fucked her rhythmically, his hands moved to her breasts, and hers clawed at the back of his shirt.

She pushed him away from her, and turned herself so she was on all fours bent over the couch.

He pulled her thong to the side once again, before grabbing her hips hard and plunging into her again, slowing as the couch creaked, then speeding up again, unable to stop themselves as she pushed back hard against him with each thrust.

Both sweating now, she turned back around, arms around his neck as they kissed and moved with each other.

She buried her face against his shoulder to stop herself from crying out, feeling his body starting to tense up, and that’s when the bedroom door above them opened!

They both stopped dead, listening to the footsteps to see if they were headed down the stairs, and she clenched tightly around him, hoping to stop him from cumming.

He let out a throaty yelp as his orgasm came, the feel of her around him pushing him over the edge rather than holding him back, and her arms wrapped around him almost painfully as his spasms took her into her own release.

For long moments they stayed like that together, thankfully hearing the footsteps moving to the bathroom upstairs.

“I didn’t want you to cum!”  She whispered. “I thought that would stop you!”

He groaned and kissed her.

“No chance when you feel that good…”

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EROTIC STORY: “On A Crowded Train…”

EROTIC STORY: “On A Crowded Train…”

When he whispered urgently in her ear, “Take them off”, she wasted no time in pushing through the crowded train to the toilet.

After pressing her back against his throbbing erection one more time, of course.

She returned and greeted him with a kiss as he pulled her to him.

“Give them to me.”

She retrieved her thongs from her purse and stuffed them into his jacket pocket, knowing he thought she was calling his bluff.

His eyes sparkled as he ran his strong hands over her hips, down the mini-skirt and dragging his nails gently over the exposed flesh of her thighs.

“What do you want to do to me?” she purred in his ear.

“I want you so much…” he replied.  One of the nearby passengers glanced their way, as if he’d overheard.  She felt herself get wetter at the sound of his voice and the thought that the stranger now knew what was coming as well as her.

She turned her back to him, and he slid his arms around her waist as she pressed against him again.

She eased forwards slightly and slipped her hand between them, sliding his zipper down and reaching inside.

He sighed in her ear as her warm hand wrapped around him, carefully guiding his penis out into the cool open air.

The train pulled into a stop, and she kept him in her hand, then just as the doors opened she slipped him between her legs, holding him between her thighs and pressed against her.

A few people stepped off the train, and more got on, creating even more of a crush.  She moved her hips slightly, her wetness letting him slide easily against her as she pushed him back harder into the corner.

As the doors closed, she slightly lifted one leg, and it was all she could do to stop herself crying out as he entered her quickly and easily.

He kissed her lightly on her neck, just below her ear and she shivered.  He was pressing hard against her g-spot.

She looked around her to see everyone was avoiding eye contact with everyone else, as usual.  It just looked like he was stood innocently with his arms around her.  She smiled, and wondered if any knew more was going on.  Maybe some were watching from the reflections in the window?

He lightly bit her earlobe, and she closed her eyes.  The constant buffeting from the train, and it’s subtle rocking motions were doing a lot more for the sensation than she thought they would.

His arms tightened around her as if he was thinking the same, then he quickly shifter her hips, and she was glad he’d tightened his grip to stop her from bending forwards.

They were both breathing deeply, hearts pounding so hard with the excitement it was a miracle if none of the people stood next to them couldn’t hear it!

She wanted to touch herself – she wanted his fingers touching her, but had to resist, instead grasping at the back of his thigh with one hand.  He responded by easing into her even more.

He smiled looking down at her and seeing her starting to flush over her chest.

She teased him inside her using her muscles, and he almost groaned out loud, quickly recovering it to fake a cough.

He throbbed inside her and she knew he was close, as was she, but the train slowed again as it pulled into a station.

As it braked she let the forces press her against him, feeling his whole body twitch subtly as he fought against his imminent orgasm.

She barely noticed the people moving past her through the open doors, staring intently at the Exit sign over the opposite door, so turned on that if anyone brushed her nipple as they squeezed through it would undoubtedly send her over the edge.

It seemed like an eternity until the door closed again, the acceleration pulling her slightly away from him and making her eyes roll back in her head.

She felt him swell inside her, and felt the heat as he came inside her as he pulled her back onto him, squeezing her hard around her middle, and she heard herself whimper far away as the rolling tides of her own orgasm crashed over her.

Her legs went weak and she sagged against him, turning her head to the window but knowing people had turned around at her cry.

He nuzzled into her neck, kissing her again.

She waited a few long minutes with him inside her, until they approached the next station.  As they slowed he withdrew from her and tucked himself away as the train came to a stop.  They both stepped off ahead of the crowd, and he wrapped his arms around her again.

Neither dared look back at the train at the accusing faces…  But they laughed…

Nasty Evil Ninja’s Halloween Blog

Nasty Evil Ninja’s Halloween Blog

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You didn’t think I’d let this day pass without bitchslapping it around the back of the head, did you?  You DID?  Shame on you!

I used to like Halloween.  I still do, I guess… but all you fuckers are getting it all WRONG and ruining it!!!

It’s a pagan festival, where in England we all traditionally dress in masks with lanterns and go out and beat Priests and Vicars to death.

OK, so that might not be true, but either way it’s supposed to be scary and fun.

Did you hear that?  SCARY and fun.

Sure, take your kids around to old biddie’s houses and give them heart attacks, and throw a Halloween party, but what in the blue-arsed-baboon FUCK is all this about:

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This is your typical Halloween costume these days.  Stupid shit like fairies and Alice-in-fucking-Wonderland and ‘sexy pirates’… fuck, what have ANY damned pirates got to do with Halloween??? 

Ghouls… Werewolves… Witches… ok I’ll give you vampires, and they CAN be sexy, but that’s supposed to be a BY-PRODUCT of the whole vampire thing!  Halloween shouldn’t be about sexy costumes and trying to get laid!  Is it any wonder our kids are all fucking each other from the age of ten with this shit being forced down our (deep) throats?

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So, yes, we used to dress up as murderous non-sexy creatures and try to extort cash and sweets from people.  We never took our parents out with us, either!

How the hell are The Big Kids supposed to go out ‘Ghost Busting’* when their parents are stood behind them the whole time?

And when Little Johnny’s string-vested just-out-of-prison Dad is stood glaring at you from the top of your path, you feel strangely inclined to give them lots of money and sweets and a can of Tennants Super rather than tell them to Sod Off and slam the door in their face.

Do they still say “TRICK OR TREAT?” when you answer the door, or is it just a moody “Give.” these days?  And what’s the ‘trick’?

Getting stabbed by a bunch of 16 year old Chavs with their hoodies up to look like ghosts?

Witches… Ghosts… Spiders… Girl Scouts???

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It’s not about dressing as a zombie, serial killer or ghost now – it’s about dressing like that slut who should never be allowed out of the bedroom.  Don’t get me wrong – I’m alllllllllllll for that – but I’m not trying to kid myself that you’re dressing for Halloween and not a hardcore fetish porno.

*Ghost Busting – when the Big Kids take the piss out of your costume, beat you up, and/or take all your money and sweets.  It was ‘fun’.

EROTIC STORY: “On A Crowded Train…”

EROTIC STORY: “On A Crowded Train…”

When he whispered urgently in her ear, “Take them off”, she wasted no time in pushing through the crowded train to the toilet.

After pressing her back against his throbbing erection one more time, of course.

She returned and greeted him with a kiss as he pulled her to him.

“Give them to me.”

She retrieved her thongs from her purse and stuffed them into his jacket pocket, knowing he thought she was calling his bluff.

His eyes sparkled as he ran his strong hands over her hips, down the mini-skirt and dragging his nails gently over the exposed flesh of her thighs.

“What do you want to do to me?” she purred in his ear.

“I want you so much…” he replied.  One of the nearby passengers glanced their way, as if he’d overheard.  She felt herself get wetter at the sound of his voice and the thought that the stranger now knew what was coming as well as her.

She turned her back to him, and he slid his arms around her waist as she pressed against him again.

She eased forwards slightly and slipped her hand between them, sliding his zipper down and reaching inside.

He sighed in her ear as her warm hand wrapped around him, carefully guiding his penis out into the cool open air.

The train pulled into a stop, and she kept him in her hand, then just as the doors opened she slipped him between her legs, holding him between her thighs and pressed against her.

A few people stepped off the train, and more got on, creating even more of a crush.  She moved her hips slightly, her wetness letting him slide easily against her as she pushed him back harder into the corner.

As the doors closed, she slightly lifted one leg, and it was all she could do to stop herself crying out as he entered her quickly and easily.

He kissed her lightly on her neck, just below her ear and she shivered.  He was pressing hard against her g-spot.

She looked around her to see everyone was avoiding eye contact with everyone else, as usual.  It just looked like he was stood innocently with his arms around her.  She smiled, and wondered if any knew more was going on.  Maybe some were watching from the reflections in the window?

He lightly bit her earlobe, and she closed her eyes.  The constant buffeting from the train, and it’s subtle rocking motions were doing a lot more for the sensation than she thought they would.

His arms tightened around her as if he was thinking the same, then he quickly shifter her hips, and she was glad he’d tightened his grip to stop her from bending forwards.

They were both breathing deeply, hearts pounding so hard with the excitement it was a miracle if none of the people stood next to them couldn’t hear it!

She wanted to touch herself – she wanted his fingers touching her, but had to resist, instead grasping at the back of his thigh with one hand.  He responded by easing into her even more.

He smiled looking down at her and seeing her starting to flush over her chest.

She teased him inside her using her muscles, and he almost groaned out loud, quickly recovering it to fake a cough.

He throbbed inside her and she knew he was close, as was she, but the train slowed again as it pulled into a station.

As it braked she let the forces press her against him, feeling his whole body twitch subtly as he fought against his imminent orgasm.

She barely noticed the people moving past her through the open doors, staring intently at the Exit sign over the opposite door, so turned on that if anyone brushed her nipple as they squeezed through it would undoubtedly send her over the edge.

It seemed like an eternity until the door closed again, the acceleration pulling her slightly away from him and making her eyes roll back in her head.

She felt him swell inside her, and felt the heat as he came inside her as he pulled her back onto him, squeezing her hard around her middle, and she heard herself whimper far away as the rolling tides of her own orgasm crashed over her.

Her legs went weak and she sagged against him, turning her head to the window but knowing people had turned around at her cry.

He nuzzled into her neck, kissing her again.

She waited a few long minutes with him inside her, until they approached the next station.  As they slowed he withdrew from her and tucked himself away as the train came to a stop.  They both stepped off ahead of the crowd, and he wrapped his arms around her again.

Neither dared look back at the train at the accusing faces…  But they laughed…

EROTIC STORY: “All Cards Under The Table”

EROTIC STORY: “All Cards Under The Table”

“What if we get caught?”  Kate teased, squirming herself against his lap.

Steve groaned and leaned back in the chair, his hands sliding over her hips and down her thighs, then wrapping around her stomach to pull her even harder down onto him.

“What if we don’t?” He countered.

Everyone but the office cleaner had left for the day.  Over the soft hum of the air conditioning, they could hear the insistent whine of a vacuum cleaner or some other piece of equipment right down the other end of the offices.

She squirmed against him again, and his hand reached under her skirt, finding her already naked underneath.

“I have a plan.”  She told him, standing up and stepping to his desk.

She ran a slender finger along it’s shiny surface, before brushing his pen onto the floor.

“Oops!” Kate sucked her fingertip, biting down gently as she eyed him mischievously.

Steve caught on straight away, “You’d better bend down and pick that up…”

She gently dropped to her knees in front of his swivel chair, running her nails up his thighs towards the bulging mound at the top – dangerously close, then eased open his zip before turning away from him on her hands and knees.

He quickly opened his trousers as she shook her ass suggestively at him.  He could see darkness where Kate’s skirt had ridden up, and intended to make it ride up a lot further when he got his hands on it.

Kate crawled underneath the desk, watching him over her shoulder.

He put his legs out to the sides of the chair, paddling his feet like a penguin as he eagerly wheeled himself up to her, making her burst into laughter and clonk her head on the side of the desk.

Her stifled “Ow” made him chuckle, but when his hands lifted her skirt up over her hips, the laughing stopped.

“Oh yeah, baby!  Going down!”  She heard the rush of air as he dropped his chair down to the correct height, but before she could take the piss out of his comment, he slipped deep inside her as he wheeled his chair forwards.

She gasped and arched her back more to take him in, and her fingers scrabbled at the carpet as he thrust in and out, building up a steady rhythm.

Then he stopped.

Kate opened her eyes and realised she’d just heard the office door open in front of the desk.

“Hey Bill!  How’s it going?”

What the fuck?  Was Steve actually going to have a conversation here?

She could see the dirty pair of workboots only inches away from her!

Steve still had one hand under the desk on her hip, and as he felt her try to ease forwards off him he pulled her back onto him firmly.  He laughed fakely at some witty remark the cleaner had just made that he hadn’t heard a word of.

Oh, so that’s your game is it?  Kate thought.  She clenched around him and felt his whole body tense up.  The cleaner was waffling on about some new supermarket or something as she milked him with just the movement of her muscles.

“Fascinating!”  Steve lied with a cracked voice.  Just fuck off now, he was thinking, as well as trying to ignore the tight slippery hot feel of Kate.  He regretted pulling her back now.

“…Yeah, and the fish!  Oh the fish!  They’ve got sea bass that’s fresh as you like…”

Kate moved her hips up and down and felt Steve’s hand shoot from her hip to clutch the edge of the table.  She looked back with a smile, ever so slowly moved her hips in a corkscrew motion, stopping at the point where his knuckles went the whitest and holding there.

Steve coughed but it came out more high-pitched than he’d have liked, and quickly reached for his glass of water, promptly smashing the glass into his front teeth as Kate moved all the way up and back down his length under the table.

The cleaner stopped mid-sentence and cocked his head sideways looking at him.

“Are you ok?”

“Yes fine!”  Steve nearly shouted, feeling Kate move again with what could well have been stifled laughter.  “I just have a bit of a cold coming and lots to do…”

“Well you’re sweating like a pig!  Maybe you should take a day off tomorrow?”

The cleaner faded back a couple of steps in that way people do when they realise they’re at risk of catching your lurgy.

At last, and with a slightly disgusted-sounding goodbye, the cleaner buggered off.

“You bitch!”  Steve said, making Kate laugh.

Both his hands went back to her hips as he regained control, and her laugh turned into a moan as he slid deeply into her.

He went at her hard – both of them wanting to finish now, and dropped off the chair onto his knees pulling her back hard onto him faster and faster.

With one final thrust, accompanied by a desperate cry from under the desk followed by a head hitting the desk, Steve cried out as he came deep inside her, and the telephone disappeared from his desk as Kate pulled the wire as she came with him.

They knelt on the floor and embraced each other, neither saying a word for long minutes.

The creak of an opening door made them both jump up quickly, and Kate just managed to plonk herself into the chair on the other side of Steve’s desk as Bill the cleaner came back through the office.

Kate smoothed her hair casually, but her mouth dropped open in horror as Bill placed two mugs of coffee on the desk, winked at them both, and left without any of them saying a word.