50 Shades Of Grey – Acceptable Porn

50 Shades Of Grey – Acceptable Porn

I had this rant back in 2012.  I’m pretty sure the whole of society managed to agree on the fact that the books were utter shite.

Well, apparently not.

We have been treated to the film version!

Oh yes! Some skinny wench with ribs hanging out everywhere is now up on the big screen with her brooding-yet-powerful and equally as wooden co-star, and you get to sit in a cinema paddling away at your pink bits while everyone pretends to laugh about it all.

So here is my original blog on the ‘phenomenon’ – just replace the word ‘book’ with ‘film’ and feel free to go at it again:

You have probably been battered around your lady-parts lately by all this excitement over the book ’50 Shades Of Grey’ by E. L. James.

Everyone is going mental over it… err… ok – so by ‘everyone’ I mean the same kind of women who went mental over the Harry Potter books.  Of course, with this book being of actual adult material, it’s been attracting the interest of even more people than the scarf-wearing geeky twat for retards.

And speaking of twats – that’s pretty much what 50 Shades Of Grey is all about!Don’t get me wrong – I’m all for porn.  Just stop trying to dress it up as something else!

http://allpicturespink.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/bad0b0-1-lovelyass-dons-erotic-black_and_white-sexy-woman-romantico-my-favs-new-black-and-white-sexi-ladies-sensual-erotic-girl-dress-sexyseductive_large.jpg?w=584

Oh, sure – they’ll call it ‘erotic fiction’, but essentially that just means it’s all the writing from pornographic magazines compiled and expanded without the pictures.And ‘erotica’ is never just about straight sex anymore.  It’ll be whips, chains, spanking, klyster suits and two girls eating each others shit out of a cup!

Yes, I AM a bitter ex-writer of erotica – and I’ve had this rant before about how ‘erotica’ these days can’t just be about a couple having sex.  Apparently it’s not ‘sexy’ until a toy soldier gets shoved up someones arsehole.

So this book is pretty much designed to get women, in the words of ‘The Inbetweeners’, frothing at the gash.There will be lots of one-handed reading going on, if you know what I mean?

Even more astounding given this fact, is that so many people are trying to get hold of second-hand copies off others!?!

“Are the pages stuck together?”  Would be my first question!  Then I’d also be purchasing some disposable gloves and anti-bacterial gel.

I suppose one good thing that will come from this mass hysteria is that it may open up the market for erotic writing again… So maybe I should start reposting the stuff I used to put up for Sex Blog Thursday on MySpace?

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EROTIC STORY: “The First Hurdle”

EROTIC STORY: “The First Hurdle”

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He’d been trying to decide how long to wait.  And how long he should make her wait.

After a few dates, this was his first time in her house.  She’d cooked, they’d eaten, and now already the second film of the night was playing.

And of course there was the vodka.

Deciding to have a play and see what the reaction was, he idly traced his fingertip across the length of her shoulders as they sat together on the couch.

Her submissive purr told him all he needed to know, and as he ran his fingers up her neck and into her hair, her head lolled against his hand and her shiver of pleasure was plain.

He smiled in the dimmed light, lightly moving his other hand into action on her thigh.

She turned to him, no smile on her lips – just hunger in her eyes, and there wasn’t even an instant in which to consider having their first real kiss.  It was gentle but needful, embracing each other strongly as they twisted to get more of their bodies to touch.

The kiss broke and his fingers still massaged the back of her head, and between her moans her hot lips were against the side of his neck, then back on his lips again.

As she found how hard he already was, he moved his own hands over her corseted top, feeling her soft, firm breasts through the material and needing to feel more.

He pulled her body close to his, reaching around her back to the corseting.  Biting her neck softly, he pulled at the ties.

“Not like that…” she panted, pulling back and showing him the hooked fasteners at the sides.

He smiled again, somewhat disappointed to have the new challenge of undoing a corset denied, kissing her as he popped open the fasteners the easy way.

He was kissing down her collarbone even as she discarded the top, his warm hands cupping her as he kissed her breasts slowly and softly.

She moved to kneel on the coach facing him, pulling off his top as if in trade, and she didn’t stop him as he unbuttoned her jeans and slipped a hand inside.

She lifted his face to kiss him again as his fingers slid over her wetness, and he knew she wanted him as much as he wanted her.  Slickened by her own wetness, her whole body sagged as he slowly ran a finger over her clit for the first time, and time disappeared for both of them, her gasp as her tightness clamped down around his fingers bringing out a moan of pleasure from him.

Somehow he was naked as she pushed him back into the seat, straddling him as she steadily worked her had rhythmically up his length, before guiding his tip inside her.

He bit her lower lip as she eased down slowly, a cry escaping them both as she slowly inched over him.

She felt so tight he wondered briefly if this would work, but their slickness made sure there was anything but pain as she took his whole length inside her, nails clawing at his shoulders.

They kissed hard, both gasping as she drew herself up his length, eager to resume the kiss, but unable to ignore their ecstasy.

She rode him like that for a long time, changing pace and matching each other easily – both in tune with each other as if they’d done this a thousand times.

He swirled his tongue over her hard nipples, her whole body shaking now as she moved on him steadily.

“I’m gonna cum…” she breathed against his ear, and he came the moment her hands scrabbled at his back, both lost to each other as they gripped each other as if to stop from floating off.

She kept him inside her, and they both calmed their breathing, kissing more tenderly now.

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to?”  She said, much to his amusement.

A thunderstorm had started outside, and only now did they notice as the roar shook the window panes.

The first hurdle was passed, and they held each other, both knowing they’d made the right choice with each other at last.

And now they could really begin…

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EROTIC STORY: “Just Friends”

EROTIC STORY: “Just Friends”

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It was always asking for trouble.

A bed is to friends what the apple was to Adam and Eve.

As they traded laughter for a quick kiss, he was a little surprised when the gentle lip contact became suddenly and unavoidably deeper.  But only a little surprised.

Their tongues found each other, and she pulled at his shoulder, virtually dragging him on top of her – not that he needed too much coaxing.

Funny though it was, ‘Family Guy’ was lost to a world filled only with them, his arms sliding underneath her body in a fierce embrace.

Still he had to know that this was what she wanted, so he held back, merely matching her kiss until she was lifting his shirt over his head.  As she ground her hips hard up against his, he finally relented to her, pressing his hips back down on her, his hardness making her moan out load as she worked her body.

Her top was gone – he couldn’t remember how or when, and as his lips kissed at her naked shoulders, and he realised she’d slipped off his jeans, he didn’t need to know the answers.

He eased his weight off her, laying to her side and running a hand down her beautiful face.  She kisses him again, hungrily, and his hands fumbled with her own jeans, the wetness that embraced his fingers telling him this was not the time for gentle foreplay – she wanted him right now.

Back on top of her, he slid his length against her, feeling her shudder as she pressed herself against him.  He wanted to tease her like this, but didn’t think he’d last if he did.

As his tip slowly entered her, he could tell she might not last either.

He pushed into her a little, then drew back again, making sure he was slick with her juices as he pushed a little further and then drew back again.  She bit the side of his neck hard as he finally filled her with his whole length, and he held himself as deep as he could inside her as she squirmed her hips, her muscles locking him tightly inside her.

Running his fingers through her hair as he gazed into her eyes again, he took a moment to steady himself, realising almost instantly that those hungry eyes, and her full lips wouldn’t help him.  Pulling her tight again, he nuzzled his nose against her hair, flicking his tongue over her ear, biting slightly as he slowly worked his hips.

In his head he knew he should be trying to think of baseball cards or something now to slow down his climax, but the moment was too good.

She bucked her hips up to meet his thrusts – no time for kissing now as they clawed and pulled at each other.

Suddenly, he pulled out of her, and as if she’d read his mind she moved with him, pushing him onto his back before sinking down onto him again.

She sat up, and his hands cupped her breasts, then he pulled her forwards slightly, sucking and kissing at her nipples as she rode him steadily – a pace that was perfect for both of them.

She stopped with a gasp, and arched her back as she felt him twitch inside her, but he wasn’t ready to end it yet.

Teasing him, she inched off him as slowly as she dared, grinning wickedly as she finally released him, and then he was behind her – inside her again.

He pulled her hips back onto him and held her there hard, whilst very lightly running his tongue from the nape of her neck to her shoulder.  He retraced the route lightly with his teeth, and the hair on her neck stood on end as he bit down gently on her neck, then placed hard kisses up to her earlobe as he pinched her nipples hard.

She turned her head so their lips met briefly, then dropped her face to the mattress in ecstasy as he pulled back and sank into her again.

He thrust harder, and she met his movements eagerly.  He pushed her forwards, taking his weight on one arm as his other hand moved between her legs.

He felt her cum as he was right on the edge, and knew he should pull out of her, but it felt too good.

She was cumming and trying to pull his hand away from her clit, but he kept the pressure there as he came hard inside her, feeling her juices running down over his fingers as she cried out with him.

She fell forwards, and he moved with her, still inside her and kissing her shoulders as they rose and fell with her breathing.

At last she lifted her head and twisted around to look at him with a smile.

Maybe they weren’t just friends anymore…

https://i0.wp.com/2.bp.blogspot.com/-bi5dGaR9RYA/TdXwJI3eECI/AAAAAAAA4Tk/0zVloxiklNQ/s1600/friends-with-benefits.jpg

“And then gently holding her thong to the side, he slid inside her…”

I used to be one of the main instigators for ‘Sex Blog Thursday’ on MySpace – where everyone would contribute by posting an erotic story or poem.  It’s quite shocking to think that it all ended 5 years ago, now!  Since then, I’ve been threatening to re-post some of the erotic short stories I wrote for this, but with most of my alias being now known through Facebook and stuff, I was too scared.

With the suddent spurting all over the scene by E L James and the ’50 Shades of Grey’ books, erotic fiction has now gone mainstream!  So, much as I tried to do with SBT, I’m going to post some of my erotica again to balance things out, and hopefully show that to be ‘erotic’ doesn’t mean you have to include bondage, spanking, and showing dolls up your arse to write something sexy.  You might even find some humour in my stories, too!  And so why not plunge in slow and deep with this one:

“And then gently holding her thong to the side, he slid inside her…”

https://i2.wp.com/cdnimg.visualizeus.com/thumbs/d1/66/denim,girl,hand,jeans,meaningful,panties-d166b3771a761299b556d02a9af5e38b_h.jpg

Yeah, they were bad – but as his finger stroked her own juices over her clit for the first time, neither of them cared.

With her parents in the room above them, only her gentle sigh broke the silence of the house, and she twisted next to him on the couch so that he could move his hands easier beneath her skirt.

He kissed her hard, one arm around her back as his other hand worked deep beneath her black lacy underwear.  The curve of her hips always seemed designed for his hands, and he pulled her tighter towards him.

Breaking off the kiss with another gasp, her hair fell forward over her face as her hands scrabbled at his trousers.

He took the moment to deeply inhale the clean smell of her hair, her perfume topping it off as she released him to the cool air in the room.

She pushed him back firmly as her hot lips slid over him, tongue flicking at him, only taking him in her mouth for a few strokes before he sat back on the couch herself.

He smiled, slipping off the couch to his knees, a hand on each of her spread thighs running up to move her skirt higher, then pulling her hips sharply towards his own as he shuffled closer between her legs.

She hooked a finger around the delicate material of her thong, and pulled it to one side, watching his face as he followed her fingers.

No further invitation was needed, but the hushed “I want your cock” sent tingles down his spine just as much as the feeling of his tip against her warm wetness.

He slid slowly and deliberately all the way inside her, watching himself sink into her, and only looking up to see her head thrown back in ecstasy when he could push in no further.

He held himself there, and then lifted her hips off the couch, pulling her even more onto him, watching her face intently.  He lowered her as he slowly slid all the way out of her, her eyes flicking open to meet his for a fleeting second before he thrust quickly and deeply into her, lifting her with his hands again.

This time she cried out, biting the knuckles of one hand to stifle the cry, and grabbing at his arms.

Leaning forwards over her as he fucked her rhythmically, his hands moved to her breasts, and hers clawed at the back of his shirt.

She pushed him away from her, and turned herself so she was on all fours bent over the couch.

He pulled her thong to the side once again, before grabbing her hips hard and plunging into her again, slowing as the couch creaked, then speeding up again, unable to stop themselves as she pushed back hard against him with each thrust.

Both sweating now, she turned back around, arms around his neck as they kissed and moved with each other.

She buried her face against his shoulder to stop herself from crying out, feeling his body starting to tense up, and that’s when the bedroom door above them opened!

They both stopped dead, listening to the footsteps to see if they were headed down the stairs, and she clenched tightly around him, hoping to stop him from cumming.

He let out a throaty yelp as his orgasm came, the feel of her around him pushing him over the edge rather than holding him back, and her arms wrapped around him almost painfully as his spasms took her into her own release.

For long moments they stayed like that together, thankfully hearing the footsteps moving to the bathroom upstairs.

“I didn’t want you to cum!”  She whispered. “I thought that would stop you!”

He groaned and kissed her.

“No chance when you feel that good…”

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50 Shades Of Grey – Acceptable Porn

50 Shades Of Grey – Acceptable Porn

You have probably been battered around your lady-parts lately by all this excitement over the book ’50 Shades Of Grey’ by E. L. James.

Everyone is going mental over it… err… ok – so by ‘everyone’ I mean the same kind of women who went mental over the Harry Potter books.  Of course, with this book being of actual adult material, it’s been attracting the interest of even more people than the scarf-wearing geeky twat for retards.

And speaking of twats – that’s pretty much what 50 Shades Of Grey is all about!Don’t get me wrong – I’m all for porn.  Just stop trying to dress it up as something else!

http://allpicturespink.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/bad0b0-1-lovelyass-dons-erotic-black_and_white-sexy-woman-romantico-my-favs-new-black-and-white-sexi-ladies-sensual-erotic-girl-dress-sexyseductive_large.jpg?w=584

Oh, sure – they’ll call it ‘erotic fiction’, but essentially that just means it’s all the writing from pornographic magazines compiled and expanded without the pictures.And ‘erotica’ is never just about straight sex anymore.  It’ll be whips, chains, spanking, klyster suits and two girls eating each others shit out of a cup!

Yes, I AM a bitter ex-writer of erotica – and I’ve had this rant before about how ‘erotica’ these days can’t just be about a couple having sex.  Apparently it’s not ‘sexy’ until a toy soldier gets shoved up someones arsehole.

So this book is pretty much designed to get women, in the words of ‘The Inbetweeners’, frothing at the gash.There will be lots of one-handed reading going on, if you know what I mean?

Even more astounding given this fact, is that so many people are trying to get hold of second-hand copies off others!?!

“Are the pages stuck together?”  Would be my first question!  Then I’d also be purchasing some disposable gloves and anti-bacterial gel.

I suppose one good thing that will come from this mass hysteria is that it may open up the market for erotic writing again… So maybe I should start reposting the stuff I used to put up for Sex Blog Thursday on MySpace?

EROTIC STORY: “On A Crowded Train…”

EROTIC STORY: “On A Crowded Train…”

When he whispered urgently in her ear, “Take them off”, she wasted no time in pushing through the crowded train to the toilet.

After pressing her back against his throbbing erection one more time, of course.

She returned and greeted him with a kiss as he pulled her to him.

“Give them to me.”

She retrieved her thongs from her purse and stuffed them into his jacket pocket, knowing he thought she was calling his bluff.

His eyes sparkled as he ran his strong hands over her hips, down the mini-skirt and dragging his nails gently over the exposed flesh of her thighs.

“What do you want to do to me?” she purred in his ear.

“I want you so much…” he replied.  One of the nearby passengers glanced their way, as if he’d overheard.  She felt herself get wetter at the sound of his voice and the thought that the stranger now knew what was coming as well as her.

She turned her back to him, and he slid his arms around her waist as she pressed against him again.

She eased forwards slightly and slipped her hand between them, sliding his zipper down and reaching inside.

He sighed in her ear as her warm hand wrapped around him, carefully guiding his penis out into the cool open air.

The train pulled into a stop, and she kept him in her hand, then just as the doors opened she slipped him between her legs, holding him between her thighs and pressed against her.

A few people stepped off the train, and more got on, creating even more of a crush.  She moved her hips slightly, her wetness letting him slide easily against her as she pushed him back harder into the corner.

As the doors closed, she slightly lifted one leg, and it was all she could do to stop herself crying out as he entered her quickly and easily.

He kissed her lightly on her neck, just below her ear and she shivered.  He was pressing hard against her g-spot.

She looked around her to see everyone was avoiding eye contact with everyone else, as usual.  It just looked like he was stood innocently with his arms around her.  She smiled, and wondered if any knew more was going on.  Maybe some were watching from the reflections in the window?

He lightly bit her earlobe, and she closed her eyes.  The constant buffeting from the train, and it’s subtle rocking motions were doing a lot more for the sensation than she thought they would.

His arms tightened around her as if he was thinking the same, then he quickly shifter her hips, and she was glad he’d tightened his grip to stop her from bending forwards.

They were both breathing deeply, hearts pounding so hard with the excitement it was a miracle if none of the people stood next to them couldn’t hear it!

She wanted to touch herself – she wanted his fingers touching her, but had to resist, instead grasping at the back of his thigh with one hand.  He responded by easing into her even more.

He smiled looking down at her and seeing her starting to flush over her chest.

She teased him inside her using her muscles, and he almost groaned out loud, quickly recovering it to fake a cough.

He throbbed inside her and she knew he was close, as was she, but the train slowed again as it pulled into a station.

As it braked she let the forces press her against him, feeling his whole body twitch subtly as he fought against his imminent orgasm.

She barely noticed the people moving past her through the open doors, staring intently at the Exit sign over the opposite door, so turned on that if anyone brushed her nipple as they squeezed through it would undoubtedly send her over the edge.

It seemed like an eternity until the door closed again, the acceleration pulling her slightly away from him and making her eyes roll back in her head.

She felt him swell inside her, and felt the heat as he came inside her as he pulled her back onto him, squeezing her hard around her middle, and she heard herself whimper far away as the rolling tides of her own orgasm crashed over her.

Her legs went weak and she sagged against him, turning her head to the window but knowing people had turned around at her cry.

He nuzzled into her neck, kissing her again.

She waited a few long minutes with him inside her, until they approached the next station.  As they slowed he withdrew from her and tucked himself away as the train came to a stop.  They both stepped off ahead of the crowd, and he wrapped his arms around her again.

Neither dared look back at the train at the accusing faces…  But they laughed…

EROTIC STORY: “Not Allowed”

EROTIC STORY: “Not Allowed”

She shivered as he pushed his fingertips gently through the hair at the side of her head, his warm palm covering her ear as he pulled her soft lips towards his own, hard at first with hunger, and then softly – like he was tasting a fine wine.

He used the same hand to draw her head back, and she kept her eyes closed for a moment as she held onto the feeling of that kiss, finally opening them to meet his own blue eyes. Usually bright blue, they were almost black now – a sure sign his mind was totally on her and what was to happen next.

The kitchen around them faded, and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close enough so that he could bury his nose in her wet hair. He loved the way she smelt when she’d just got out of the shower. The way all her skin felt so soft and warm. Even the ultra-soft white dressing gown she wore.

Sliding a hand inside it, he smoothed his hand up over her belly, fingers caressing the side of her breast as they kissed again.

She pulled his hips into hers, feeling him already hard through his jeans.

Pushing him back, her fingers unzipped his flies.

He grabbed her ass in both hands hard, pulling her to his chest and lifting her up off her feet, sitting her on the cold wood of the table, making her gasp and grin at the same time.

He kissed that grin, opening her gown and sliding it off her shoulders as she dropped his jeans to the floor with his boxers still inside them. She reached for him but he pushed her back down onto the table.

He stripped the shirt over his head, before pulling her roughly to the edge of the table, her legs wrapping around his waist, and his penis dangerously close to her.

Leaning over her, he kissed softly at her breasts, sucking a nipple as she ground herself against his hardness, feeling her moisture spread over his shaft. She squirmed to try and position herself for him to enter her, but he pulled back, standing upright again, but still resting up against her.

“No.” he said through a smile, thrusting slowly forwards so that his whole length ran against hers and back down again.

She moved again, trying to embrace his tip, and let out a small cry as he pulled himself back from her yet again.

Staying between her legs, he grabbed a couple of cushions from the chairs, once more leaning over her – and sliding against her clit again – as he placed them under her head, tenderly kissing her. She felt his dick twitch as he kissed her, and her whole body tensed in frustration and need.

Then he stood upright again, very slowly dragging his fingertips down the sides of her body – tickling her ribs, leaving trails of fire over her hips, moving up and in over her inner thighs. She gasped his name.

His fingers wrapped around his own shaft, and then swirled over his head, spreading her juices over himself. She went to sit up and reach for him, but he gently but firmly pressed on her stomach with his other hand, pinning her back down.

He gripped his shaft and moaned as he ran his cock along her again, slowly, holding himself against her entrance for what seemed like an eternity, and then working his hand steadily up and down. When she glanced up she was surprised to see that he wasn’t looking down there – he was watching her face.

She held the eye contact, and realised how hard she was breathing – and how much he was turning her on. She could see from his face how much she was turning him on, too.

His eyes dropped, looking at her pussy, darting over the curves of her hips and her breasts. His hand stroked at her belly, too where it still rested on her.

But always his eyes sought out her own, and stayed on them for the longest.

She wanted to touch him. She wanted his hands to be hers. She wanted him inside her.

Instead she watched him as he watched her. She wasn’t even aware that she’d been playing with her nipples until she moved her hands slowly down over her body, and it was like an electric surge through her whole aching body as she touched her clit.

He watched her hands travel, and she watched his own hand, moving in that hypnotic motion. She spread herself wide open for him, his cock only millimetres from the wetness that was by now dripping from her.

Her mouth hung open in anticipation, hoping he would take the invitation and plunge himself deep inside her – but also hoping that he wouldn’t.

He didn’t.

She could feel his warmth he was that close to her, and her mind was in overdrive with the teasing.

He felt the same, half crazy with his own need for her, and his pre-cum dripped onto her – something she might not normally notice, but her and now she convulsed, her legs dragging him against her, and she cried out loudly as his cock again touched her clit.

But he pulled away again – his smile lost this time in his own pleasure. She fought desperately against her orgasm, and held herself right on the brink. His hand working up and down so close to her…

He was close, too, his eyes half closing, and as she reached between her legs again to open herself to him, he came hard, back arching as his stream shot over her, some shooting into her wet hole as she crashed into her own orgasm with one slightest touch at her clit.

He looked down at his cum over her belly. It was so sexy.

Heavily flushed, she lifted herself into a sitting position, and this time he embraced her, kissing her shaky mouth as they held each other tightly – neither having any words that could say more than the post-orgasmic shudders that hit their trembling bodies in waves…

http://veraroberts.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/sexycouple.jpg