An Ode To MySpace

An Ode To MySpace

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MySpace is actually still going. It’s limping along like a 3-legged dog who thinks it’s a sleek black panther – but of course to all of us bloggers it died many years ago.

At it’s peak it was truly awesome. Almost everyone there used an alias, and so it was a natural thing to spill your secrets and confessions on there – and could be very theraputic because of that, too!

When it was all dying, and we all gave up the fight to stay away from Facebook, the will to stay in contact with those we’d shared our MySpace life with meant breaking down all those walls and letting the few trusted ones see who we really were on there.

In Real Life.

Of course, many of us had already met each other by that time – but even then it was weird to suddenly be able to see their friends, family, and their bizarre/mundane lives away from their MySpace masks!

I used my Nasty Evil Ninja account to post stuff that was really close to the bone – rants mixed with real life drama, and I didn’t hold much back at all! It’s no secret that a lot of my Sex Blog Thursday posts (remember THAT?!?) were about or featured real life people!

Don’t ask which ones were real – I’m still not going to tell you that!

Often on Facebook the talk drifts back to how it used to be on MySpace, and so I thought I’d like to share a few of the outstanding memories with you.

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Friends

Before they were called ‘friends’. Were they ‘contacts’ or something? I remember being in someone’s Top 8 list meant something special!

I made a lot of friends from other bloggers, or people who read and commented on my blog, and a good few of them are still in contact today!

Some I’ve met in person either at the time or after MySpace died, and there are still some I’m yet to meet.

The awesome thing here was the overseas people – not just from the US and Canada but from Croatia and Holland and St Thomas and Australia… And many from the UK who I’m sure I’d have never met through any other medium!

A few of those have had drama, and some seem to have fallen off, but for the most part those I’m still in contact with have flourished since those days, and it’s great to see!

Drama

It’s what we were there for! Some people got hit hard by life, and I’m sure MySpace helped them through it. The funny thing is that it was quite rare people would be nasty to you on there – unless you got some fued going with them (or you’re a female who doesn’t swoon over cock pics).

I had a rocky stage in my life on there. All got documented from relationships breaking up, to falling in love…

At one point I lost my business, split up with someone big-time (The Police got involved and called me in to try and shut my blogs down!), and someone stole the one thing I had left – my bike – and I was in a pretty bad place.

Miraculously, someone who commented on my blogs offered to lend me enough cash to buy and insure a new bike to get myself back on my feet. I didn’t think she was in any position to do this as a single mother, and she’d never met me before in person, and didn’t even know where I lived. The first time we ever met was when she handed me a wad of cash with nothing but a promise that I’d pay her back as soon as I could. No strings attached – no more expectations, nothing. I’m still not sure if she just took a risk or was an excellent judge of character (and yes, I did pay her back!). She knows who she is and I’m eternally grateful!

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Fame

Some of the other top bloggers made it! They now get paid to blog and stuff, and that’s brilliant! I think Perez Hilton started out blogging on MySpace? Not that he was in my Top 8, but he’s probably the leading example of where some of us went. Some of the more arty types are now selling their work, and that’s great to see!

Me? Well, after millions of views on MySpace I switched to this blog to try and keep things going – but that’s never really taken off. Nobody is exactly beating off… err, I mean, beating MY DOOR DOWN for my erotic writing, or inane ramblings. And that’s ok.

I did make the switch to YouTube where I currently have approaching 3 million views of my bike videos, and you may have noticed I have a little car racing hobby that’s made me fairly well-known in some circles. The ‘fortune’ certainly hasn’t come, yet, though!

Hilarious stuff

Remember Farmer Vincent’s Fritters? Or Abe and his ongoing wilderness battles with Nagatha? There were more I’d love reading just to make me laugh. Some of those guys were just amazing, and I’ve got no idea what happened to them! Apart form Abe – he’s still around the place!

You’ll notice I haven’t used many of the MySpace names in this blog – and the main reason for that is I can’t remember what all of them were! There are also a few who want to be distanced from all that. Some I now know only by their real name and can’t even remember what they called themselves on MySpace!

Actually, screw it – let’s have a crack at the names I can remember. I’m sure I’ll miss some really obvious ones who are right in front of me on Facebook:

Slinky, Foxxxy, Solaris, Wolfshades, Albino Cockroach, Zanna, Bruce, Abi, Manda, Helen, Buddha Mama, Boo Boo Kitty-fuck, Loree, Sweets, Darren Dragon, Salacious Bee, Tamar (Diary of something?), Emz, Helly, Sassy Little Secret, Saz, Julian (Mr.. ??). The Girl, Debz, Soo, Isabel, Bea, Abe, Tits McGee, A Giraffe, Tom, unnngh there are so many profile pics I can see in my mind but can’t remember their screen name!

Feel free to post up any more names you remember, miss, I’ve missed, or your MySpace memories! And if you were there put your name and feel free to add me if we’ve lost touch for the last 10 years!

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Poor Women And Their Terrible Online Experiences

Poor Women And Their Terrible Online Experiences

I’ve been subscribed to this blog for a while (and I suggest you do, too!) but this little ditty about online niceness got me all Frothy-Mouthed Gaa-Gaa about halfway through.  Take a look, and then know that the blog below is my opinion on it:

http://jezebel.com/5961867/the-online-culture-of-niceness-doesnt-extend-to-the-ladies

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Suck it up!

Ooh!  Save the poor women!

I’m a member of several biking forums where women are treated equally – in fact I’m often surprised to find out that a user I thought was male turns out to be female.  And then I carry on not caring and forget again.

And while we’re on the subject of wittle wadies being forced out of ‘mens discussions’ online I cough a big hearty “bullshit” at you.

Blogs written by women get loads of hits.  This may sound a little bitter and sexist, but I firmly believe… nay – I KNOW that this is simply because they are female.

Possibly because of men hanging on hoping to get a shag, or possibly because of other women hanging about to criticize – but publicity is publicity!  And that’s why we’re doing it!

It is absolute bollocks that women writers have a harder time of things.  Sure, they MAY (allegedly) come in for more abuse because of their writing, but tough titty.  Like I just said – we do this for views of whatever kind.  For every “DIE YOU SNAKE-TITTED CUNT!” comment a woman writer gets, she will get 4 more telling her how great/beautiful she is, or how they were looking for a snake-titted cunt exactly like her.

And don’t even get me started on Erotic Writing.

*breathes heavily*

OK – you got me started!

Men aren’t supposed to write erotica.  Those who do, have to write weird violent shit that is mainly read by cross-eyed men with a hammer hidden in their raincoat.

If a man writes erotica and anyone from The Real World outside the internet ever finds out, they face ridicule and hostility and disgust.  From REAL people.  Face to face.  Not just on some shit computer you can turn off and STFU about.

And that includes men who write the more vanilla erotica, such as myself.  I have no doubt whatsoever that to make my stories infinitely more saleable I’d simply have to call myself Maybell Definately-Hasntgotbollocks.

So it really depends what you do online.  If you’re just mentalling around Facebook looking at pictures of your ex’s new girlfriend, then it’s a bit harsh when hairy-palmed men with their pigeon chest displayed in their profile picture start emailing you.

But if you’re on the internet to be popular, then pull your head out of your balloon-knot and realise that attention you’re having a cry about is what’s got you there.

So shup.

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Erotic Writing – A Warning And A Whinge!

Erotic Writing – A Warning And A Whinge!

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I first started blogging back in the MySpace days of glory under this name because it wasn’t the name anybody knew.  This was partly to see if some of my writing and rants could make the charts even without my regular readers… but mainly so I could write the stuff that I couldn’t get away with anywhere else.  Like relationship problems and some of my more, ahem, controversial writing.

With the move to WordPress and the advent of Facebook, that kind-of knocked it all on the head.  If you’re on my Facebook, then the chances are you’ll have at least seen my blogs.  This is A Bad Thing, when you consider Facebook people are Real people I might have to see on a daily basis.

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That said, since MySpace went shit and died like a palsied ferret after falling down a well, I have been reposting some of my old blogs on WordPress.  Both because I’ve had requests, and because I think they need to go on here, they’re going to be here eventually.

So, yeah… If you know me personally and are reading this, I’m afraid that I WILL be reposting the old ‘Sex Blog Thursday’ pieces on here when I fu- sorry, PLUCK the courage up.  If you don’t like it – don’t read it.

And another thing about all this ‘erotic’ writing!

Correct me if I’m wrong, but ‘erotic’ does not mean ‘kinky, perverted shit’!  Or does it???

It seems to me that the majority of ‘erotic’ pieces have to involve whips and chains and biting and stuff!  what’s it all about?

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To me, proper erotica is more about the subtler descriptions of sex.  Basically a toned-down version of the stories you get in porn mags – better written, and conveying some kind of feelings between the subjects.

OK, so that could include bondage and all that, but it’s not ‘normal’ sex, is it?

I’ve never been tied up or tied anyone up for sex.

There’s been no spanking during my sex play (err, apart from a few times taking the piss).

No riding crops and nipple clamps have ever been produced by my lovers – nor has blood been drawn.  Not that I’ve ever been pleased about, anyway!

I haven’t been called ‘Daddy’, or dripped hot wax over anyone’s nether regions!

I’m British, don’tcherknow!!!

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Yet almost all ‘erotic’ stuff on MySpaz or anywhere seems to involve some serious kinky shit.

Now sex outside and all that could be seen as ‘kinky’ by some.  What I class as ‘kinky’ is anything that you would be reserved about asking a new partner to do/be a part of before you’ve subtly sounded them out.  Let’s face it – if you whip out a pony-tail buttplug, your new partner could well run screaming/laughing from the bedroom.

Maybe it’s because a lot of erotica is fantasy, and this kind of kinky shit is actually every womans fantasy, deep down?  Most writers in this field are women, anyway.

Or is it just that the less kinky women never bother to write erotica?

Is the ‘normal’ erotica a bit, well, boring?

What’s kinky to you – and has anyone ever tried to take something too far and it’s made you laugh/scream/run away?

Am I just all innocent and inexperienced?

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Friday Piss Me Off

Friday Piss Me Off

I know what you’re all thinking.  And it’s disgusting.  I hope you don’t kiss your Mother with that, err… mind?!

But aside from that, you’re thinking “What’s pissing you off, Nasty Evil Ninja?”.

And so I shall tell you.

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Hanging Blinds

What’s up with kids strangling themselves in the cords on window blinds?  It’s everywhere at the moment, and parents are rallying together to ban these cords on blinds.

Err… WTF?!?!

How about, you know, tying them up out of reach?  Or, may I suggest the children STOP putting their heads in there?  Maybe it’s natural selection?

I wasn’t exactly a model child, and if anyone was a prime candidate of hanging themselves accidentally or for fun, I was it.  I should point out here that I never managed to throttle myself in any window blind cords, so if I didn’t, fuck these retards who do.  And the parents crying about it?  They’re not a fucking new invention, are they?

What’s next?  Banning refrigerator doors because Little Johnny smashed his head in with one, passed out face down in the tub of ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!’ and died of hypothermia???  Fuck right off.

Filthy Great Linking Bloggers

Yes, I KNOW all I have to do is click the link to your other blog, and it SHOULDN’T be a hassle… but it IS!

How about YOU click on Ctrl+A and then Ctrl+V and put the whole blog on here, you know – where you’ve pasted the link?

Spastic Car Drivers

OK, so I need to be a lot more specific here: the car drivers who move over to try and stop motorcycles getting past them.

WTF is the point?  I mean, really?

They’re going to overtake you anyway, and it’s not like they’re inconveniencing you in any way is it?

This is even worse when the bike is filtering through traffic up to a junction or traffic lights – which is completely legal, in the Highway Code, and actively encouraged by Police and advanced riding organisations.

Fuck you and your wing mirrors, you selfish cunts.

“That Causes Cancer!”

Smoking.  Drinking.  Artificial sugars.  Exercising.  Not exercising.  Pies.  Driving.

Look, EVERYTHING causes fucking cancer.  What the fuck is the point of not doing something because “it gives you cancer!” when every day we find out something else we’ve been doing gives you cancer anyway?

Fuck your cancer and fuck your pointless scaremongering!

Soap Opera Headlines

Why is something that happens/did happen in a soap opera headline news?

It’s not real, you pathetic bunch of Joeys!!!!!!

I could write something into a shitty soap opera that will make headlines, too – how about I write in a story about a Muslim lesbian rapist who strangles small children with blind cords?  It’ll be the FIRST TIME EVER on screen!

No, wait… I just made that up, you spanners!  So did they!!!

Presents From A Random Cat

I was backing my bike down my driveway yesterday when I hit an obstruction.  I thought it was just a stone under a wheel, so gave a good hard shove to roll over it, and it suddenly rolled free again.

When I got off the bike I was confronted with the brains of a Sparrow sprayed all over my front tyre and driveway!

I’m assuming this is yet again the work of a cat (possibly the neighbours which we seem to have semi-adopted), and is the fourth dead-animal gift left there in five days.

At this rate there’ll be no damned wildlife left in the area!

So thanks but fuck you, Rebel, you murderous little shit!

(and pink splattered bird brains are NASTY!)

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What’s pissing you off at the moment?