‘Actor Hired To Play Batman’ Shocker!!!
Over the weekend, I’m sure that your Facebook feed was taken over by 24,000 posts, pictures, and geeky emo bullshit.
Not because they’ve killed off a Twilight or Harry Potter character – but because They have announced that Ben Affleck will be playing Batman in the next, err, ‘Batman’ movie.
Apparently, there are enough weirdo’s out there who have invented their own little comic book worlds inside their Sheldon Cooper-like noggins, that they expect anyone else to give a shit?
Maybe if they cry long and hard enough about it, the Batman makers will fire poor little Ben (Matt Damons [said in spakka voice] mate, for those who don’t know.), and hire their fat geeky ass or Robert -ing Patterson or whoever else they’ve invented as the ‘perfect’ Batman.
“He’s as bad as Val Kilmer!!!” they whine!
“He can’t act!” tweeted the very wooden Clive Owen in despair.
“Yes Gary! Act!!” encouraged Spottswoode, before adding an “America! Fuck yeah!”.
“He’s almost as bad as that Granny-faced Unfunny Wimpy Geek Crap-acting Cunt Michael Cera!” one person (me) made up in mock-horror!
So WHY is he a bad choice?
Because you saw someone different in your head?
I was horrified at the thought of a Green Mile film after reading the books – but Tom Hanks did alright in it.
That’s kind-of the clever thing about actors. They are there to, you know, act in films and stuff. Until you’re doing the casting for a film, you can go fornicate yourself with an iron stick if you don’t like the choices.
And this stuff is even hitting news headlines?!
Dum-de-dah… war declared by ‘Merka… ho-hum… missing schoolgirl… Miley’s ass…whatever… Batman to be played by Ben Affleck?!?? OUTRAGEOUS!!!!!
I mentioned Twilight and Potter fans because they are the same level of mental.
Batman fans are even worse than the comic-book kids, because even those kids wouldn’t give a shit who gets cast to play him in a damned film!
What the Hell is going on, here? Or is it just me???
Things that piss me off about this even more:
He’s going to wear a -ing mask.
It’s TWO MOTHERFUNKING YEARS away!
It’s a fucking FILM! A MOVIE! This is NOT your new bastard President!!!
EDIT: As I was adding the pics for this blog, I looked out the office window to see the Batmobile and the Trotters 3 wheeler van going past on a trailer. Seriously.
And the Scooby Doo van has just appeared. I got some pics:
Then on my way home, I got stuck behind Batman for 10 -ing minutes!!! Is it the Warner Bros Mafia who’ve already been sent out to get me for this blog???