Cars Vs Cyclists – but who’s missing?

Cars Vs Cyclists – but who’s missing?

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It’s the age old argument of who has more rights and who should have more rights – a car or bicycle.

They hate each other, and if one ever posts criticizing the other, within the first few comments you will see things get personal or even violent.

A Facebook friend recently posted a satirical blog about things cyclists do that annoy car drivers, and literally got a death threat from a cyclist for it!

Some of my most viewed YouTube videos, with hundreds of thousands of views, are ones that feature a cyclist or even just that ‘c’ word in the title. To read the comments you’d think I hate cyclists myself – and very few will ever know or bother to watch the videos where I’ve stood up and even protected cyclists.

Hell, some of my best friends are cyclists. Personally, the thought of cycling on modern roads scares the shit out of me and it’s a disaster waiting to happen, but I digress…

There’s someone missing from these road wars.

Image result for filtering motorcycle


Whenever legislation is passed, new rules created or road markings laidd, they NEVER think about motorbikes.


How else do you explain Advanced Stop Lines (ASL’s)? These are the boxes you’ll find at traffic lights as a refuge for cyclists, so they can safely filter through and safely set off first when the lights turn green to keep cyclists safe from cars. No other vehicles are allowed to stop within the ASL.

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Wait – what?

So a motorbike, that has filtered to the front, is not offered the same safety? Even though the biker is just as vulnerable? Even though that motorbike will out-accelerate very easily any car or cyclist, so it makes even more sense for them to be at the front?

Clearly, when they set the ASL laws they’d forgotten about motorbikes, and it was all car vs cycle as usual.

Birmingham is quite good, but a lot of other cities won’t let motorbikes use bus lanes, which makes no sense at all if cyclists can.

There’s never any talk of special motorcycle only roads or paths, despite everyone having a cry that motorbikes account for 99.4% of road fatalities or whatever. Why?

Oh the Government will give you money off a new cycle to save the environment and cut congestion, and celebrate you, and give you lots of free, secure parking – but not if you want a motorcycle! And you’re going to give thousands of cars cheap road tax (yeah I know it’s not road tax – I just wanted you to have THAT rant again!) but motorbikes still pay full, and quite often more than car fees.

WTF is all that about?

All we do get is signs put up by the side of the road saying esoteric things like “THINK BIKE!” that nobody really knows what it means or who it’s there for? I mean, are they to get cars to look out for bikers or are they to get bikers to stop riding like idiots?

How about you remember the other group out there cutting congestion on our over-crowded roads chock-full of single-occupancy steel boxes?

Remember traffic jams are a car problem – not a bike one. And that means BOTH lots of bikes.

Image result for car vs bike


This was another uninvited’whisper’ (like a private message thingy) I had back in the Grapevine 20s MSN chatroom – it must be getting on for 10 years ago now!  NastyLittleCuntpoke was one of the names I used when my MrFiction name was banned for assorted skulduggery.

Pimpdaddy5935 : hey babe

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : hey hun

Pimpdaddy5935 : how are you

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : fine darling

Pimpdaddy5935 : asl

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : no – i’m not into that

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : are you?

Pimpdaddy5935 : y

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : fronts?

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : buy boxers – much sexier

Pimpdaddy5935 : where u live?

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : wan my address?

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : *want

Pimpdaddy5935 : just wanna know whe4e u live

Pimpdaddy5935 : wat city

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : sure, yeah – you can come right over and fk my sister too

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : where do YOU live, hmm>>

Pimpdaddy5935 : canada

Pimpdaddy5935 : u

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : that figures

Pimpdaddy5935 : u have a cam/

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : i have a double overhead cam and 16 valves

Pimpdaddy5935 : add my email

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : add it yourself you willy-woofter

Pimpdaddy5935 :

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : i said no thanks – you look like a palsied orangutan in your pic

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : i have higher standards

Pimpdaddy5935 : i dont have a pic

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : good job you ‘orrible flakey-skinned ape

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : you make me feel ill

Pimpdaddy5935 : your ugly shut up

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : *you’re

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : and you can’t tig your own butcher

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : so you lose

Pimpdaddy5935 : your funny

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : so are you

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : in the head

Pimpdaddy5935 : funny looking

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : now piss off, Chompy

Pimpdaddy5935 : whore

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : frigid little raccon-faced toerag

Pimpdaddy5935 : your prob still a virgin

Pimpdaddy5935 : lmao

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : last time you put out was, err…. last night when you put your cat out…

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : or something wittier

Pimpdaddy5935 : go use that finger some more

Pimpdaddy5935 : retard

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : finger?

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : are you mental?

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : is there an adult there i can talk to???

Pimpdaddy5935 : no but you are

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : *rapps on your skull*

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : MC FLYYYYYYY!111111

Pimpdaddy5935 : mc whore

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : well duhhhh

ÑåstÿLïttlëC¨ntpøkë : joeyyyyy

Pimpdaddy5935 has left the conversation.