Gay Pride March, Birmingham 2011

Gay Pride March, Birmingham 2011

I knew there was something going on when we first got near Birmingham city centre to find all the roads being closed off and traffic getting gridlocked all over the place.

I’d driven in with a mate to go to the Soy Cafe – awesome Chinese/Vietnamese food that’s always fresh and served up quickly.  They also have a £6.95 set menu deal where you get a drink, pudding and choose a main meal from the ever-changing selection.  Trust me – it’s good stuff!

So we walked towards it, with the distant sound of whistles and signs announcing disruption for Pride (as if we hadn’t noticed an increased number of, well, ‘The Gay Community’ mooching about the place), and as we got near the Chinese quarter we were headed off by the parade itself.

Now, I’ve got no problem with homosexuals myself.  Why would I have?  I’m straight and proud, so if they’re gay and proud that’s fine by me, and everyone’s happy!

I’m not entirely sure what the whole Gay Pride march is about?  Whether it’s political, raising awareness, or just an excuse for a big old street party, or all of them!?

Gay Rights?  Give it to ’em!

Why should any straight person give a damn if gays want to marry?  If you think it through, those straight people are the only ones who WON’T be affected by gay marriage, because they’re not gay so probably won’t be forced into marrying a gay.  Get over it!

Anyway, the actual parade seemed a bit tame compared to what I was expecting.  I thought it would be more of a carnival type affair, with heavy partying.  I guess the march was only around 1pm, so it’ll all get a lot more lively as the night draws in.

It was actually quite a good atmosphere there!

As we were starting to starve to death, and the parade seemed to have stopped, we made the choice to cut through it to get across the road to where the restaurant was.

Of course, just as I got right in the middle, surrounded by scantily clad gold-sprayed people, stilt-walkers, and banners, everything started to bloody move again, with cameras going off etc.

So you just KNOW that on the front page of all the newspapers reporting the Pride March will be a picture of ME right in the middle of the damned parade!


And to top it off, I picked the worst possible day to wear my crotchless jeans and nipple clamps…

This was a moody Police biker, sat staring at the Fire Brigade bike in the parade, which had loads of people having photo’s taken with it.  The Police biker looked miserable at being left out, so I found it funny and took his picture:

Putting ‘BIKER’ On The Census As Your Religion

Putting ‘BIKER’ On The Census As Your Religion

It’s coming around again soon – the Gubbinment will be sending you a load of questions at great expense to the taxpayers so that… umm… they know more stuff about us?


The important thing this time around is that when they ask me what religion I am, I am going to say it loud and proud that I am A Biker.

The road is my God, and the pathway there, too.

When I ride my bike it is a spiritual experience.  It’s a comfort to me when I feel lost or down.

Riding ‘in the zone’ is like a form of meditation.  It’s Zanshin – total awareness – as I try to see my surroundings before they happen, listening to every roar and click from my bike and trying my best to make sure as I execute my religion that nobody else is adversely affected by it.

We even have Priests – the mechanics who will fix up our trusty steeds and get us back on track.

A lot of us even just ride on Sundays!  And we have those living Gods amongst us:

And think of the benefits or getting our religion recognised!

Would a petrol station be allowed to force us to remove our helmet if it’s religious clothing?

Could they continue forcing us to pay such high tax on petrol – essentially taxing our religion?

It is my form of worship.  Being a Biker means I enjoy life, and get more out of it because of my choices.

We’re family out there – nodding a greeting as we pass total strangers simply because they’re on a bike.  Sure, there are different faction within the Biking religion – the Sportbikers have some hostility towards Harley Davidson riders, and everyone dislikes Scooter riders.  Motard riders are just thugs.  We’re not going to go to war over it, though, and many of us treat everyone under the Biker banner equally, as it’s something that unifies us all.

If you ride a bike, I bet you’ve put more effort into that than you have the made-up-deity, war-causing, only-when-it-suits-you religion that someone decided they’d choose for you before you were out of nappies!

It’s got to be done!

It is the time to show the World what we REALLY believe in!

Just put that single word as your religion: Biker.


***EDIT***: There is now a Facebook group for this, so get theeself joined and spread the word: