Random Rants

Random Rants

It’s been a while since I had a rant.

On here, anyway.  Rest assured that almost every time I switch on a TV, or look at the world around me, it will almost certainly inspire a rant.

So what’s been whipping the nipples off my tits lately?

Shower Gel

Why does everyone want to smell like they’ve spilled a can of Tango over themselves? *NOTE* By some coincidence, here’s one of the products that came up in my picture search. WTF?


A good ‘soap’ smell isn’t any good these days!  Oh, no!  The latest Lynx RightGuard Old Spice like a diabetics breath!  strawberry Puff, they may as well name this stuff, rather and ‘Inspire’ or ‘Orange Passion’.  Or chocolate!

You can even buy stuff that smells like the most disgusting chocolate you’d never want to eat!  And why the Hell would you want to smell like you fell asleep with a Snickers, anyway?!  Stop it!

Which also leads me nicely to:

Fancy Chocolate


Cadbury’s Dairy Milk is the best chocolate bar in the world, with no exceptions.  There’s your benchmark.

I can sort-of get behind chocolate and chilli (never hot enough, tastes a bit crap as they never use good chocolate – like Dairy Milk, for example), fruit and nut type stuff, or chocolate filled with flavoured centre type malarkey.

But some people always have to take things too far.  These new Cadbury’s bars stuffed with popping candy, jelly beans, chocolate brownies and any other crap they could find in the factory – NO!!!  YOU’VE RUINED IT!

Except the Cadbury’s Dairy Milk With Oreos… That is properly badass!


Dogs In Cars

There was a post in the Spotted: Redditch page on Facebook last night.  Some rubberhead had taken a picture of a car, windows steamed up, at night, with full-on dogging going on.  Not the type of dogging featuring Brenda from the local Asda and 15 fat men in masks – the kind where a dog owner had left the dogs in the car whilst they went into a local pub for a meal for an hour or so.

The page branded the dogs being left in the car as disgusting behaviour, noting that the poor abused canines were “panting for breath” without even an open window.

In the dark.  In November.  At about 5 degrees C.


This was followed by a flurry of posts from people calling to lynch the owners, and smash the windows to save the poor dogs!!!  I counted at least 5 people who said they’d reported it to the Police!


So these dogs, happily sat in a car for an hour, after possibly having spent all day running over the Malvern Hills with their loving owner, were supposed to be ‘helped’ by letting the -ing cold air in the car?

And nobody noticed the fact many people AND dogs sit in cars for hours at a time without suffocating?  Or that it’s perfectly normal?  Or that you just miiiiiiiight be wasting Police time because you’re a moron?

Joey Essex


Is that even his real name?  Not worth asking him, as he’d be unsure.  I’d seen him previously on “Celebrity Juice”, where he failed to answer a question correctly about how many sides a square has.

He’s now on “I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here”, where he’s shown he can’t tell the time from a clock and other such joys.

And you just KNOW he’s going to be a massive celebrity after this!

Is it really any wonder why people are reporting dogs suffocating in a car when we idolise people like this?

He reminds me in several ways of a ‘Joey’ who was famous during my 80s childhood….