Removing Your Helmet At A Petrol Station
This little explosive onion crops up every so often between bikers.
Occasionally, you’ll cruise up to a petrol pump, open your petrol tank, slip the tip of your nozzle in, and then…
You look over at the Till Monkey behind their bulletproof glass, and they’re desperately waving at you.
“What???” you mime at them, giving your best French shoulder shrug.
Then Till Monkey wraps his gimpy little gob around the microphone, and mumbles something over the loudspeaker about taking your helmet off.
Because, apparently, all bikers are thieves, who ride off without paying for their petrol.
First off, your average motorcycle petrol tank will hold less than 17 litres of petrol.
If you’re going to steal fuel, why the fuck would you do it on a bike, instead of a car with a 100 litre tank?
More to the point, what’s to stop a car driver wearing a peaked cap, balaclava, or a burka and making off without paying? Absolutely nothing, that’s what – because whatever you’re wearing in a car, you won’t be asked to undress before they will serve you.
It should also be noted that you HAVE to wear a helmet by law to ride a bike. It’s not an option.
I’m fine with this, because when that petrol splashed back into your eyes as you’re filling up, it’s quite a good safety function to have a visor to protect you. In fact, if I take off my protective kit to fill up, and then suffer as a result where my helmet would have protected me, how much compensation do you think I’d get???
Added to this, there is then the question of what you actually do with your expensive and delicate helmet as you fill up?
So, you take your helmet off and then have the option to:
1. Balance your helmet on your seat.
2. Balance it on the handlebars.
3. Balance it on the same tank you’re pouring fucking petrol into!?!
4. Dump it on a fuel-saturated floor/top of pump etc.
I treat my helmet like a newborn baby. I wouldn’t leave a baby on the floor in a petrol station, nor balance it on anything it might fall off.
A newborn wouldn’t be much good for my noggin in an accident, but my helmet is made to do that specifically. I don’t want it weakened by contaminates. That might mean my life.
I don’t know about anybody else, but I don’t sit and trawl through shitty impossible-to-identify pictures of people who steal petrol? So who exactly is using this CCTV footage rather than recording your registration to trace offenders? And aren’t leathers/helmet/bike more identifiable than some blurry video still, anyway?
Not that it would make any difference, because, as demonstrated in the video posted below from the awesome Baron Von Grumble, most bikers at this time of year are wearing 15 layers covering their head beneath their helmet to try to keep warm.
So what are these ‘reasons’ for removing your helmet, again? Manners?
Bullshit, more like. And you can fuck off, if you want me to take my helmet off when I’m filling up.