Did you think me, self-professed “I’ll-eat-anything-that-used-to-have-a-face” Nasty Evil Ninja would let this one go? No chance!
A few weeks ago some SHOCK HORROR story emerged in Ireland that some beefburgers sold in supermarkets contained *dum-dum DAHH* horse meat.
This was soon revealed to be UK-wide, with everyone unknowingly chomping the nag.
Things reached a hoofing great (long) head when they also revealed that the big blocks of highly processed ‘lamb’ used to fill pissheads kebabs all over the nation contained veal!
No, wait… so these cheap shitty splats of meat ACTUALLY have been found to contain the vastly more expensive and some would argue BETTER meat of horse (or posh young calves, in the kebab case)?? Surely that’s like cracking open a bottle of Lambrini in your local bus stop and finding it filled with finest Moet champagne?!?
Just as things were dying down again, latest reports are hitting of more foods such as microwaveable lasagna that is actually made with 100% horse meat!
Hell yes! The only microwave meals I really eat these days are the gorgeous ones from Aldi – and now I find they’re affected! So I will retract any statements I’ve made about not having tried horse meat. And add that it’s beautiful.
Give me another any day, and I’ll eagerly tuck in AND play the Black Beauty theme tune loudly as I do, just to show there are no hard feelings.
But what the Hell is going on?
I know a cow costs about £30 to buy.
Horses? Even an old Bostik sponsored knacker will cost you a good £100. A good Grand National winning beast will no doubt cost you TWICE that!
Compare that to the less than £10 in a restaurant that will get you a cow steak… while horse steak will cost more like £20, if you can even find it on the menu.
So I can understand people wanging in a load of old rats, cats, dogs… squirrels? But not bloody Horaces!
Perhaps now we will start to see McShergar Burgers on the menus? For cheap.
Or maybe they will just read “Beef and/or Horse steak”.
The going is all good, if you ask me – as long as they’re not all off.
Now we just sit and wait until someone decides to have a look at what they put in a sausage…