Public Lemmings

Public Lemmings


Surely, the first thing you were taught after being told you could let go of your Mummies hand when you were outside, is that you should look before you cross the road?

After that, if you had non-Jeremy Kyle level parents, they should have even suggested that if there’s a pedestrian crossing within a few feet, then you should use that to cross in safety.

So why, in the name of Holy mouse-eared fuckability, do so many of you braindead cunts run blindly out through the traffic at every opportunity?

I’ve just started commuting into Birmingham city centre, and was expecting to be knocked off and squished by idiot car drivers who were drinking coffee, texting, and shaving their bawbag on their way to and from work… but NO!

The things trying to kill me are big two-legged twats loping off the curb like something out of a fucking 1980s video game!

I’ve ranted on before about Bromsgrove.  There’s a section of road where there are TWO pedestrian crossings within about 30 yards of each other – and what happens?

Lummox-like cabbage-fucks do that ‘just-crossing-the-road-don’t-mind-me-mister’ stupid jog causing everyone to slam their brakes on.

My mate actually hit some stupid bint here as he was filtering on his bike.  Good!  Apparently her shopping bags went up in the air, comedy-style.  And my mate and his bike were totally undamaged.

I had another one only this morning.

I saw her and slowed, she saw me and carried on without a second glance – making me slam the anchors on and screech at her in a voice so high only dogs could hear.

And I bet the dopey-faced fucktard blames ME for the fact she went pottering off accross a damned road!

What’s wrong with you people???

Your parents can’t have dropped you ALL on your heads when you were little, surely?!?


4 thoughts on “Public Lemmings

  1. Pedestrians are a nightmare… I am sick of slack jawed teens walking two or more abreast down the middle of the fucking road! They usually have wires coming outta their ears so they don’t hear you coming AND their gormless face glued to their latest gadget. Then they give you grief or a rude gesture as a thank you for not turning them in a smudge on the road! Last time I yelled at a teen I found my wing mirror smashed and car keyed the next morning… Next timei I’m gonna save my brake pads n pancake the little bastards!

    And then there’s the dumbfuck parents who all fight to get closest to the school gates, parking illegally and irresponsibly. Or they stand yapping on the corner forcing kids to step into the road to pass them…

    But who gets blamed when little Britney or Porche get squished?? Yup the driver… Never the parents who blocked the street and caused the hazard!

    • I totally agree!

      I’m 100% sure that the numbers getting run over has increased massively with the increased popularity of MP3 players and stuff. I’m all in favour of them, but FFS when you’re wearing them you should be PAYING ATTENTION to your surroundings!!!!

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