Complaint About Morrisons Lettuce
Dear Morrisons Customer Services
I should have written this months ago, when things started to get really bad, but after walking into your Bromsgrove store once again tonight on my weekly shop, I realised my comment of “Let’s get some mouldy lettuce!” should probably account for something.
Wheeling my trolley into the ‘green’ section, as per usual I looked down to find your finest array of iceburg lettuces.
Now, the picture may not do them justice, so to help you out in understanding my recurring dismay, please picture in your mind a herd of young snotty kids on a big grass field. This field, due to our recent weather, is very muddy. The kids are the rough sorts you know are never going to become Doctors or have a proper bath. It’s not that they can’t afford a football, but your finest organic iceburg lettuce is an absolute bargain at £1.30, so they’ve decided to use this as a football. They play for hours every day, the beautiful green lettuce bouncing around bringing tears of joy to their filthy little pre-borstal faces.
After around 6 months of this, they then return the finest organic Iceburg lettuce to your bromsgrove store, where it retains it’s £1.30 price tag.
And that’s where I find it. Every. Single. Week.
I’ve gone shopping on different days, just on the off-chance that you actually get all your fresh lettuces in the day after my normal shopping day, but they all still look like some tramp has rummaged through the bins to get them.
This one I bought tonight (seriously – this is the best one that I had to purchase), in case you are colour blind, is still partly green. Normally, I’d expect this would be the kind of ‘fresh’ produce a supermarket would throw in the bin, but not Morrisons Bromsgrove!
Oh, no! This is still good! To be fair even the usual ones with a few days left on them are as bad (this was taken on Monday 16th):
Good for what, I’m not entirely sure? Goal keeping practice for stigs?
Sure, I understand that the organic hippies are against anything that might preserve foods, but does this really mean that we can’t even BUY a damned lettuce that isn’t speckled with death from the start?
I’m pretty sure that even before supermarket chains had huge express distribution networks I used to be able to buy lettuce that was green at the start and might even last a whole week in the fridge?
And you charge us £1.30 for this mouldy bin-fodder?! OK, so not this time, as in your usual efforts to shift decaying food, you’ve dropped the price a whopping 30p!
Could you please explain to me why we should find this acceptable, and also why things have been this way and getting worse for at least the past 6 months?
Do you find all your lettuces in the local graveyard, amongst the old flowers next to the water tap?
If not, you may want to get your people to have a rummage through there, because I’ve seen much fresher produce composting away there!
I shall pack as much lettuce into a sandwich as I possibly can, after having binned 90% of your ‘fresh’ one to find some green – that way I might get that sweet lettucey taste just briefly before I have to throw it all away.
Please do something. This is about the only allegedly green thing I eat in my diet.
Nasty Evil Ninja, aged 35 1/4
Well, not expecting any reply at all, 13 minutes flat from emailing the random CEO I found a contact for, he’s replied! THIRTEEN bloody minutes! So it looks like I’ll be getting my £1 refunded and some investivation done!