Cyber Sex – Is It Cheating?

Cyber Sex – Is It Cheating?

I read an article in a newspaper the other day about the publics perception of ‘Cyber Sex’ – that is having ‘sex’ with someone over the internet.

If you haven’t had ‘cyber sex’ you’re probably already scratching your head a bit here about WHAT it actually is.  Basically, it’ll either be pulling your pud on a webcamera in a one way/mutual masturbation session.  Or maybe it’s purely text-based, where you’re both sat there typing with one sweaty hand about what colour pants you have on and and feeding ponies and stuff.

There is the technology to attach various rubbery articles to your genitals that will actually simulate the sexual movements of your cyber lover – but I’m sure it’s crap, expensive, and nobody actually uses it.

Many apparently ‘do’ each other bent over the Cyber Table if they’re in a long distance relationship, or their partner is away for more than 45 minutes.  It’s a way to release the sexual tension between you and express your love and lust even when you’re apart.  Or a convenient way of being a dirty little scutter to discourage your lonesome partner from banging the milk man or a passing prostitute.

So if you’re already in a relationship with a real living person, is having Cyber Sex with someone else cheating?

The figures show that 18% of people have had Cyber Sex.  51% of people say that it IS infidelity.  26% didn’t know/care.  The rest I suspect just went a bit mongy, started dribbling, and the person asking the questions had to walk away.

I’d agree and say that it IS cheating on your partner.  You’re having some form of a sexual relationship with somebody else, and most partners will be pretty offended to find out you’ve done that.

But then…

You’re not actually touching that person, are you?  Sure, in some cases there could be some pesky feeelings building, but what if the cyber sex is just with some random chatroom person?

Putting it into perspective a little more – isn’t it just the same as watching porn?

Maybe the Cyber Sex person will tailor their rub-tugging antics a little to your requests, but then you can also get interactive porn that does pretty much the same thing.  And porn isn’t cheating, right?

So now I’m not actually sure.  I am sure that if my fiancee was having Cyber Sex I’d be pretty damned gutted, and I wouldn’t do it myself – but that’s just my choice.

What are your views on it?

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10 thoughts on “Cyber Sex – Is It Cheating?

  1. I do enjoy your outlook on subjects. As for my opinion, Yes, it is cheating. Us women feel insecure enough without our guys fantasizing over some chick on the net. More than likely she is 380lbs with a face that could stop a train! lol If guys aren’t getting enough at home you might start changing your tactics! 🙂 Have I played on the net chat rooms? Yeah, with hubby there. I busted a gut laughing the whole time. Guys are so gullible! LOL Keep up the great posts Ninja! BTW your post on the UK Budget won’t come up. Really interested in that one!!!! The USA is about to sink in that area and it can’t come soon enough! Yep the rebel rousers over here are ready to get the party started once again!!!

    • Thanks!
      Yes, if you’re female and go in a chatroom there’ll be no end of offers to “See my cock on cam”! It’s crazy! Most don’t even care if you have a cam lol!
      For some reason the whole budget blog and pics disappeared after I posted it, and not having saved the text before it was all lost… I just couldn’t be bothered to type it all out again… Maybe I will if I get chance – but basically, I’m not happy and yet again the rich get richer and the poor get poorer…

      • Doesn’t surprise me about your budget post. Over here when we post things our government doesn’t want out there it has a way of disappearing. LOL But they won’t win, way too many of us Patriots out here for them to keep blocking all of us! Keep pounding away at them brother! What is the climate of the people in your country? Home foreclosures are insane here, people just walking away from them left and right. Unemployment is in the double digits and gas prices are escalating, all though I know probably cheaper than your part of the world. Things are going to get real nuts at our election time in November, glad we no longer live in a city!

  2. This may sound strange, but I used it as a skill-building tool.
    I know… You’re probably saying, “You want?”
    I went about teaching myself about writing novels, and I read lots literature, but I couldn’t find anything appropriate about writing in detail about what happens between a man and a woman in a bedroom. That was the only place I got writer’s block. It wasn’t lack of experience; it was more or less a reluctance and apprehension what to write. How much is enough? How much and it would cease being romance and be nothing short of porn? Do you really have to put that in a novel, lest it not be attractive enough to read?
    So I joined a group of supposed cyber-chatters, but I was particular. I wanted to write in full words and sentences, and not this cheap bollocks with SMS messaging. I wanted a partner to practice writing preliminaries and foreplay – not just cut the crap and get to the sweaty stuff. And I found such a person; a part-time playwright.
    Okay, so it wasn’t such good idea “to hook up” with an eloquent self-declared sex addict, who ended up wanting to take matters beyond the comfort zone. But you know what? I still miss this person, even though we never met, we never used webcams – we simply typed. The reason why I miss these sessions, is not because of the subject matter. What I miss most is having another live person at the other end of the key board with enough intelligence to create a spontaneous written adventure. It’s much more challenging than going to Second Life and clicking on options to make cartoon figures, walk, dance, flirt and fall into each other’s arms. When you simply select pre-programmed options, it lacks creativity – not to mention spontanity. With this erotic writing creativity, it’s more the stimulation in your mind than the stimulation in your body. In the end, this exercise surved its purpose – I lost my inhibition to write about intimacy, and now I can look at it, and say, “I have to fix this sentence. I have to make this passage better”, instead of drawing a dreadful blank in my mind.
    The common opinion of many people about those who successfully write erotic short stories commercially (call them smut authors if you will), is that they’re randy as cats in heat. It’s rarely the case, according to a number of email conversations I’ve had with a few erotica authors. They only thing that gets hot in their case are their fingers – from typing.
    Personally I view it as you do – it’s just another form of entertainment. I’ve even read a recent new article at Spiegel Online, where women have dragged their husbands to couple therapists because she’s convinced he’s a “sex addict”, because he’s either viewing porn, or he’s typing flirt lines with anonymous women on-line. The interviewed therapist said she tells such wives, “Bring your husband back when he admits he was in bed with someone else. Stimulation is not infidelity. But we can discuss your jealousy and insecurity problems, now that you brought the subject up.”
    A couple writing friends and I are still looking for competent writing partners, for the purpose of creating short erotic fiction. In our case it’s not about petting your “pud” as you express it; it’s more like giving your fantasy paper in pen in the modern world. We’re a little peculiar, because anyone can thumb a text message while pulling their “pud”, but it takes a bit more discipline “to forget about your pud and concentrate on writing”.

    • It’s funny you should say that about erotic writers, because I have to admit that I wrote most of my erotic shorts (back in the Sex Blog Thursday on MySpace days) when I was at work in an office with other people! It’s hard to, umm… get hard in that situation!

      Like you, there’s no way I could bother with anyone using ‘txt spk’ for something like that. Actually, I don’t think I could take it seriously whatever their writing skills. LOL I guess that’s evidenced again by some of the private chatroom whispers I’ve also posted on here!

      On cam, though? That’s something I may have done in the past… 😉

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