The Rant Before Christmas
We’re nearly there! Little Johnny is almost being sick with excitement, the dog/cat is already saving up his innards ready to crap in your Aunts shoes during the Christmas meal, and general madness has taken the nation!
I still blame the Christmas music, of course. I have songs that I absolutely fucking LOVE that I haven’t heard as many times as some of those bastard songs.
I’m actually sat writing this at work and sniggering because the CD player is skipping like Dale Winton on amphetamines. It’s just a matter of time until someone turns it off… or I put my earplug back in and put my own Christmas music back on.
At The Gates. Specifically, it’s the album ‘Slaughter Of The Soul’. Now THAT sounds Christmassy to me! Either that or ‘The Principles Of Evil Made Flesh’ by Cradle Of Filth’. Or the first two albums by Ultraviolence (‘Life Of Destructor’ and ‘Psychodrama’).
I suspect this is because I got these albums for Christmas, but also because they DO sound like Winter. Cold. Precise. Brutal.
And GENUINE. Unlike the shit we get force-fed as ‘festive’ – the same songs that are almost as if they’re trying to convince themselves that we’re “simply having a wonderful Christmas time”, and all that Jive Bunny shit.
It is depressing to me.
I’ve heard people talk about going to the supermarket at 7am today to find it filled with people doing their shopping ready for the big day.
That’s ‘day’. Singular. As in, the shops are closed for TWENTY FOUR FUCKING HOURS!!!
Correct me if I’m wrong, but for the rest of the year most people cope with only shopping once a week?! So why, all of a sudden, does everyone go all Frothy-Mouthed Gaa-Gaa because we can’t go shopping on just that one day??
If the shops were open on Christmas Day – would anyone actually GO there? Chill the fuck out, have another glass of sherry, and get some turkey down you FFS!
I hope you all have a great time, and I hope weird shit happens to me so I can blog about it all.
Chances are it will be a tale of being forced to watch childrens TV and Emo Eastenders – but I’ll be clinging onto that sherry haze for dear life!
Merry -ing Christmas!