Holiday Rage

Holiday Rage

Right, first off, even that title pisses me off. It’s fucking CHRISTMAS – not ‘the holiday season’ or ‘festive period’ or whatever you dumb cunts keep trying to change it to!

I’m not religious, but even I know it’s bloody Christmas!

Stop. It.

This year, I’ve managed to do almost all my CHRISTMAS shopping online. I’m sure most others will be able to say the same.

So how in the blue-knobbed CHRIST are you all still pissing about in the shops like a bunch of stray mental patients???

It’s Hell out there! All the Christmas Numpties have caught on to those self-scan thingies at supermarkets, too. Except that they can’t fucking grasp the concept of scanning the bar code on an item and then putting it in the designated area. Look, it’s hard, so fuck off back to the tills and let me get on with it!

And what’s happened to all those smug bastards who started their Christmas shopping back in July? I’ll tell you what’s happened – they’re in those bastard crowds of shoppers still!

Next year, if you tell me you’ve started buying Christmas presents before mid-November “to beat the rush”, I am going to kick you in the cunt. Hard.

And yes, I do understand that the majority of the braindead twats shuffling about the place are buying essentials like food for Christmas. And let me just tell you something:


You’re not going to starve to death! Stop buying like there’s a nuclear war coming, then we can all relax and just shop normally!

And is it just me, or is every cripple or anyone on wheels in the UK out for a joyride at peak shopping times this year? Wheeley Old People (get it???) in Shopmobility carts, fatties being wheeled around on oversized skateboards, and any other immobile cunt they can put wheels on and push into the busiest crowd seems to be blocking everyones way. And yes, this includes YOU, with your pushchair that’s bigger than a 1950’s Cadillac!

And all this to the lovely accompaniment of the same 40 songs we’ve heard every shitting year after year after year after year after year…

Even without having some tit coughing their Christmas Cheer down the back of my neck, whilst his dozy lummox of a wife abandons her shopping cart in the middle of the aisle AGAIN as she waddles off to poke a mince pie three aisles down, Christmas Music sends me almost instantly psychotic.

Talk about bringing out the misanthrope – at Christmas mine comes out like a trap-door spider covered in tinsel and anger!

You bastards!

If I haven’t killed you – hope you have a great Christmas.

4 thoughts on “Holiday Rage

  1. Bahahahaha!! Sounds like you have the holiday spirit as much as I do! I HATE this time of year! HATE HATE HATE it!! For all of those reasons, and more.

    Oh, ps … christmas is but only one day out of the the year. The rest of the time it’s the HOLIDAY season, ’cause ya know, there is more than just one holiday during this time of year. Don’t make me name them all! 😉

    • Someone else said something similar to me about ‘other holidays’ in this period, but I’m going to disagree. In the UK, we celebrate christian holidays (whatever my own view on religion – and let’s face it, barely anybody else gives a shit what the religious reasons are as long as they get a day off work) because as a nation CofE is our official religion. If anyone else wants to have their religious holidays at the same time, that’s fine – but I wouldn’t expect to go to Uzbekeghanistan or wherever and declare their holiday is also being overtaken by my one.

      I DO actually like this time of year (contrary to what most people think!), but hate the way everyone acts all mental about it whilst deluding themselves as to any significance of it all. And why the Hell does Cliff Richards corpse come wandering the Earth at this time of year, too?

      • Yeah, you guys do have an “official religion”. I’m so glad that in the US we don’t have that, try as the Republicrites might. However, as a country, most unnecessary workers do get the day off for xmas. Though, the definition of “unnecessary” is becoming quite blurry, as gas stations and convenience stores are still open (how is that necessary?). In any case, even though your country designates a religion, that doesn’t mean it’s the only one celebrated by people at this time of year. And ironically, you guys are one of the most secular nations, and yet you don’t recognize that xmas may not be celebrated by all people? *scratches head*

        Anyway, I have no idea who Cliff Richards even is, let alone his corpse. LOL

        • Consider yourself lucky! He’s like a British version of Barry Manilow, who they just seem to wheel out once a year… Or two, if you count Wimbledon!

          We do recognise that not all people celebrate Christmas – but fk ’em! We don’t get their holidays off, and they’re welcome to join in with ours. That is fading, though, and I have to say the American influence is creeping over here with it being ‘holiday season’ and stuff now, so as not to offend anyone.

          I’ve neevr quite understood how me celebrating Christmas could possibly OFFEND anybody, but apparently some Do-Gooder has decided it does. You can bet that that person is a white, Christian, middle class person who’s scared of life, though. If they were Muslim, Jew or whatever else, they wouldn’t give a damn.

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