The Ill Voice
We’ve all been there – you wake up dying to death of The Lurgy, and aside from being a bit worried about being dead, you realise that you have to phone in to work to tell them you’re ill.
Well, either that or you’ve decided you’re staying in bed for an All Day Shagging Sickie (yay!!!).
Either way, as soon as you dial that number, even if nothing is wrong with your actual voice in any way, you feel that you have to change your voice to The Ill Voice.
You could have a dismembered foot but when you call in for some reason you’ll feel you have to make your voice sound weak, broken, rough and pathetic.
Because I’m aware of this stupid play acting, the last time I had to call in sick I did a ‘normal’ voice. It was a stomach upset and the start of flu-type lurgy, but I could speak normally. They kept chasing me because they obviosuly didn’t think I was that ill! They even asked me to call back later that day in case I’d miraculously recovered somehow in the space of a few hours?!
I know someone else who swore by smoking a cigarette as fast as she could immediately before calling in ill, just for the effect it had on her voice, making it meet the appropriate sick-sounding requirements.
Maybe I should start a campaign to allow people to call in ill without having to use The Sick Voice? Raise awareness, and all that?
Do you use The Ill Voice?
If someone calls you up, do you think less of their reported illness if they’re not using The Ill voice?