Nasty Evil Ninja’s Halloween Blog

Nasty Evil Ninja’s Halloween Blog

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You didn’t think I’d let this day pass without bitchslapping it around the back of the head, did you?  You DID?  Shame on you!

I used to like Halloween.  I still do, I guess… but all you fuckers are getting it all WRONG and ruining it!!!

It’s a pagan festival, where in England we all traditionally dress in masks with lanterns and go out and beat Priests and Vicars to death.

OK, so that might not be true, but either way it’s supposed to be scary and fun.

Did you hear that?  SCARY and fun.

Sure, take your kids around to old biddie’s houses and give them heart attacks, and throw a Halloween party, but what in the blue-arsed-baboon FUCK is all this about:

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This is your typical Halloween costume these days.  Stupid shit like fairies and Alice-in-fucking-Wonderland and ‘sexy pirates’… fuck, what have ANY damned pirates got to do with Halloween??? 

Ghouls… Werewolves… Witches… ok I’ll give you vampires, and they CAN be sexy, but that’s supposed to be a BY-PRODUCT of the whole vampire thing!  Halloween shouldn’t be about sexy costumes and trying to get laid!  Is it any wonder our kids are all fucking each other from the age of ten with this shit being forced down our (deep) throats?

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So, yes, we used to dress up as murderous non-sexy creatures and try to extort cash and sweets from people.  We never took our parents out with us, either!

How the hell are The Big Kids supposed to go out ‘Ghost Busting’* when their parents are stood behind them the whole time?

And when Little Johnny’s string-vested just-out-of-prison Dad is stood glaring at you from the top of your path, you feel strangely inclined to give them lots of money and sweets and a can of Tennants Super rather than tell them to Sod Off and slam the door in their face.

Do they still say “TRICK OR TREAT?” when you answer the door, or is it just a moody “Give.” these days?  And what’s the ‘trick’?

Getting stabbed by a bunch of 16 year old Chavs with their hoodies up to look like ghosts?

Witches… Ghosts… Spiders… Girl Scouts???

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It’s not about dressing as a zombie, serial killer or ghost now – it’s about dressing like that slut who should never be allowed out of the bedroom.  Don’t get me wrong – I’m alllllllllllll for that – but I’m not trying to kid myself that you’re dressing for Halloween and not a hardcore fetish porno.

*Ghost Busting – when the Big Kids take the piss out of your costume, beat you up, and/or take all your money and sweets.  It was ‘fun’.

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5 thoughts on “Nasty Evil Ninja’s Halloween Blog

  1. It’s this new thing James. It’s called No Self Respect, and comes from misunderstanding what worth, self-esteem and imagination is. When you think that you can only get love and attention by dressing like a slut, it all begins to make sense…

    The lack of imagination is what truly shocks me though. It’s perfectly possible to be a sexy caterpillar. It’s all about the smoking jacket and the hookah.

    • There was definitely something smooth about that caterpillar!

      And I’d have thought with the resurgence in Zombie Cool over the last few years kids would be wanting to at least go Z for Halloween? But no – they want to celebrate the witching hour as Hello Kitty!? Actually that does scare me – but not in the right way.

  2. Ok, what is scary is that I totally understand what you are saying and got a few chuckles out of it besides! You so get it! Hell here in America the people are already Zombies 24/7! The mystery and fun of sex has been has been stripped and porn crammed down our throats so bad we need to buy Viagra to even show interest in sex anymore! We just came back from Las Vegas (sin city) which when we drove into town they had the roads blocked off because of our vomit president Obama was coming in to extort the zombies for more money. When they did let the people move around again they all looked like zombies, just needed the erosion of flesh to complete the picture. 20 so years ago Vegas was fun now it is just a mind numbing, nerve screaming, hell hole that you can’t wait to get out of! So we had enough of Halloween for our country lives it every day! Keep up the great posts! Nice to know there are still Humans out there! LOL

    • I’m glad you picked up on my zombie quip! I’ve had a rant before about how even ‘erotic’ these days means freaky kinky weird shit and not the subtle romance it used to be. Strange how things can change so quickly, isn’t it? But then, that’s probably because it’s all about the ‘quick fix’ we all feel entitled to…

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