Stalker, Stalker, Creepy Fawker
stalker (stalkers plural )A stalker is someone who keeps following or contacting someone else, especially a famous person or a person they used to have a relationship with, in an annoying and frightening way.
I believe the figures used to show that one in every three women would be the victim of a stalker at some point in their life, to varying degrees. Men getting stalked aren’t far behind, although for the most part we like to think of stalking as happening to poor defenceless women.
The word ‘stalker’ is thrown around far too much these days, but here I’m not talking about some creepy guy who comments on all your facebook pictures with suggestive comments, or someone sending random ‘meet me for a drink’ emails on MySpace.
The reality is that the real life stalker doesn’t look like some kind of filthy perve. Hell, I’m betting that almost everyone here has had a quick stalk of an ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Either taking a drive past their house to see if they’re in (or to see if a chain of filthy skanks is going in and out of their house day and night!!!), or at the very least you’ve had a good browse of their Facebook pictures since you broke up.
Whilst I can’t say this kind of behavious is exactly ‘normal’, it is understandable after you’ve been in a relationship with someone.
But what about if it’s with someone who you’ve never met?
When I was self employed in the private investigations field, there was a time when I was seriously looking at starting a firm with a partner specialising in anti-stalking. At that time there were only 10 such firms in the world! We also looked at several live cases for training purposes.
One of these cases involved a Nutter (male) who had made advances towards a happily married woman. She had, of course, turned him down, joking that if she didn’t have a husband then he might have a chance with her.
Her husband then died in an unrelated accident, and Nutter was straight around to her house like some kind of stalky Rumpelstiltskin to collect on her ‘promise’.
She told him to go shove his head up a dead badgers ass (or words to that effect), at which point Nutter promptlywent and dug up her dead husband and placed his body on her doorstep to find the next morning.
That’s one of the more extreme examples, but I’m sure all of you know of someone who’s been harrassed.
The most common is an ex turning up at your house, watching your house, or popping up in places where you normally go like some kind of freaky jack-in-the-box.
Why do they do it?
A lot of people who get charges filed against them under the Threat Harrassment Act are otherwise normal people (for big pink talking monkeys, anyway).
The main reasons are jealousy and the inability to let go. We all go a little crazy when change is thrust upon us, especially with a hefty dose of loss also thrown in there.
It’s the hardest thing in the world to lose someone (even if we never technically had them in teh first place, you Nutter), and the easiest thing to pick up that phone and call them 200 times a day, or just park up outside their place of work to see them as they leave…
But you can’t do that!
Let it go, you weird little badger-brained looney!
If you do find yourself as a victim of a stalker, the best advice I can give to you is to keep a record of EVERYTHING that happens – time, dates, places, witnesses… even the weather at that time! Build up as much of a case as you can, because whilst most Police forces are absolutely crap at handling these cases, they CAN do something if you have enough to make it worth their while.
There are solicitors out there who can help with the civil litigation of setting up injunctions against people.
It’s either that, or two large mates, the back of a shovel and a bag of quicklime…