The Dark Place
Funny how everything can be brilliant, and then within the space of just a few months your whole life can be utterly devastated.
Generally, I’m a Lucky Bastard. The flip-side to this is that when things DO decide to go wrong, they do it in a biblical way.
I thought being made redundant was pretty much a death sentance. There are no jobs, and the only things I want to do in life are my girlfriend and motor racing and bike riding – and all three cost lots of money!
Anyway, when things turn to shit you need to surround yourself with people who are positive and support you. I’m not needy, so one person will do for me! Disaster didn’t happen, there was still fun to be had, and the Sun on the horizon appeared to be rising, and not sinking as I’d thought!
Jobs are coming back on the market, and I have money in the bank, so I wasn’t too concerned to hear that The Fucktarded Government have denied my claim for benefits. Well, not totally – they have decided that I can pay all my rent and bills with just over £100 per week, and so they will give me £65. Assuming £100 a week WOULD be enough to live on (it isn’t), where the fuck am I supposed to get that extra £35 anyway?! OK, so I’m not planning on living on benefits, but it would be nice to think that after working all my life they’d be able to help me out a bit during the hard times, right?
Wrong. I get NOTHING towards my rent and they won’t even reduce the horrendous Council Tax. The real irony being if I hadn’t worked a day in my life I would have been given everything and had every bill paid.
Then out of the blue the lights go out again. Total eclipse.
Those standing by me turned their backs at that very moment. Gone. And even worse as a parting shot I’m assured that it’s all my fault and I’m a worthless loser and I’ve ruined THEIR life!?
Way to motivate…
I have an interview in the week, and have been speaking to a friend about more possible work but the question now is can I really be arsed?
Find some way to get excited about getting a shit job to pay for every other cunt to do nothing whilst I struggle, or…
Why make the effort when it’s just ignored?
Why bother when it’s just about betrayal and kciking the puppy dog as it drags it’s snapped back away from the car that just ran it over?
The probably is a light.
I just hope it’s not another train.