Firstly, I’m thankful that you buggers can read at all, and even more so that you’re willing to. That seems to be rare these days.
I read my first full length adult novel when I was eight years old – it was “The Jonah” by James Herbert. I was always encouraged to read by my Mom, and it horrifies me that most kids these days either can’t or won’t! You should teach your kids to read by pointing them at my blog. I’m totally kid-friendly in my blogs.
But what pisses me off almost as much as the proud illiterates, are the Book Snobs.
Sure, they read. They’ve probably read all the shitty, out-dated, irrelevant ‘classics’ and think they’re better than you because of that. It’s a bit like Shakespearean actors who believe you can’t act if you haven’t done The Bards plays.
And it’s total bollocks. Shakespeare is dead. Nobody thinks like that, nobody talks like that, and nobody looks like that (err… am I quoting “She Watch Channel Zero” by Public Enemy there?) and I couldn’t give a kippers dick about Shakespeare or your ‘classic’ novels.
Let’s take this back all the way to the very basics: It’s about the story.
Book Snobs forget about this and insist it HAS to be perfectly written to be ay good, and they miss out because of this.
Velentino Rossi’s autobiography, for example, is shocking badly written. There was so much repitition that even I nearly gave up on it. An even better example is the immortal (immoral?) Mark Brandon ‘Chopper’ Read – an Australian criminal who spent more time in jail than out of it, and in his own words:
“Yeah, I know – and I can’t even bloody spell. What about those poor bloody academics, those college graduates, battling their guts out to write some airy-fairy piece of exaggerated artwork? And here’s a bloke, sitting in a cell, who can’t spell, and he’s written a best-seller. It’s sold two hundred and fifty thousand copies. And it’s still selling. And he’s writing another one. And I can’t even spell. I’m semi-bloody-illiterate.”
But he has awesome stories to tell!
We shouldn’t forget that this stuff started from people around campfires telling their story before anyone could read or write. If they have a great story to tell then you have to bite it back and let them get on with it.
Not everyone is an academic, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have a story to tell.
A recent example of this is a book called “The Driver” by Alex Roy which I’ve been reading. I knew nothing at all about it and took a chance when I saw it in a charity shop, and I have to say it’s fantastic despite pretty poor writing! It’s about Alex’s quest to beat the fastest time across the US from New York to L.A. in 32hrs 07mins, and his participation in other underground car rallies like the Gumball 3000.
Again it’s no work of literary genius, but his passion comes through and it’s a Hell of a story! As is a lot of Choppers own stuff, as mentioned earlier.
So what else is out there like this? What have you read that was terribly written but an awesome story?
And if you say my blog then I will track you down and make you eat your own heels.