Being Gay Is A Choice!

Being Gay Is A Choice!

I’ve written a blog about this in the past, and obviously it was controversial back then as much as this will be.

It always amazes me how strongly people fight this one.  But then I realise that the gay community fight very hard all the time, for everything, and if I’m totally honest that’s part of the reason why they piss people off.  That’s not to say I don’t support gay rights etc – in my opinion I’m straight so why should I stop the gays doing whatever they want?  Hell yes, give them equal rights!  It’s not going to affect me, is it?

Anyway, I read this blog by someone totally new to me:

I Can Choose

Now, I’m in the camp (pardon the pun) that thinks being gay IS a choice.

Why shouldn’t it be?

The linked blog mentions that often turning out to be gay can be related to past abuse etc, but I don’t think even this should be a factor.

By claiming people are either born gay or it happens through abuse, isn’t that being really defensive, and maybe even guilty?

It shouldn’t be like that! I think people get far too worked up over this stuff and try to find reasons and excuses which simply don’t exist – and don’t have to exist, either.

I’ve heard the argument before that “Nobody would choose to be gay!  Nobody would want to go through such a hard time growing up!”, and whilst I do sympathise with how cruel people can be towards gays (Yes, I’ve been one of those filled with hate and ignorance), you’ll have to pardon me if I cry bullshit.

I bet most of the fetishes we have as adults would have brought about just as much anger, hate and ridicule from our peers.  We still chose them.

As I addressed most of the above to the readers and writer of the blog, someone came back with the excellent question: “So when did you choose to be straight?”

I thought for a while on this.

Could it be that it was conditioned into me NOT to be gay from an early age?  If that is the case, then it’s a wonder that I haven’t ended up as a monster raging Queen just to rebel!

They say (well, I think it was Ice-T, actually…) that if you take a load of newborn babies and put them together in a sandbox, they will all play happily regardless of race etc… I wonder if the same would be true of sexuality?

Entire civilisations before our own had less of a problem with which side you swung the bat at. I forget if it was the Romans or Greeks who are best known for (at the very least) bisexuality, but I’m sure someone will know.

Another argument against my views is that animals are gay in nature.  Again, this doesn’t really prove anything for either side, as, yes, they are ‘naturally’ homosexual, but it should also be noted that any peer pressure or societal judgements have also been removed in their case.

Having had the fact put to me again, I would LOVE to know exactly which animal is the gayest species, if anyone can find that info?  I’m betting it’s Meercats.

So I still don’t see a convincing argument as to why it can’t be a preference, just as I could choose to go for overly hairy women or bakers who smell of fish.  It’s just a choice – and that only gets labelled as ‘Good’ or ‘Bad’ when someone thinks you made a bad one…

And don’t get me started on where this ‘choice’ or ‘birth’ argument goes to when you throw it at paedophiles…

I also feel that I should spell it out very clearly here that I do not believe this blog or my views are in any way derogatory – it’s just my opinion based on the evidence so far.

17 thoughts on “Being Gay Is A Choice!

  1. I originally put these comments in the other forum, but decided it was better to have it here, instead.

    My original quote was, “So James, when did you choose to be straight? (just a thought to ponder, I don’t need an answer)”

    The point about babies all playing together is a bit irrelevant to the topic of homosexuality. It’s not about whether we can all get along despite our differences in sexuality. And it’s not even about being “conditioned” to NOT be gay – I would venture to say that the majority of people who are over the age of 20 were probably told it’s not ok to be gay while growing up. I know I was certainly told that! I suffered no sexual abuse growing up (physical and mental abuse, yes, from both parents). I realized I was different by the time I was 7, when I had my first “experience” with another female, but had no idea what was going on. It wasn’t until I was in my early 20’s that I discovered there was a term for someone like me: bi-sexual. I’ve had wonderfully healthy relationships with both men and women (and equally rotten relationships with both men and women). I know I didn’t choose to be bi-sexual, just as you didn’t choose to be straight (unless you find yourself attracted to men, but choose to suppress it?).

    When I was raising my 3 children, I made sure they knew that whatever their sexuality, it was ok with me (and their father). One turned out to be bi-sexual (though she had NO idea that I was until after she “came out”). One thought it would be “cool” to be like her older sister, and thought she could choose to be sexually attracted to females, and discovered she couldn’t choose that. And the last one, though only 13 years old, I’m pretty sure is solidly straight, because he’s all about the girls. Time will tell.

    If you think it can be a preference or choice, I challenge you to choose to be attracted to a man. Really put forth your best effort, and see if your body responds.

    And to respond to something you didn’t originally comment on the other forum: “Another argument against my views is that animals are gay in nature. Again, this doesn’t really prove anything for either side, as, yes, they are ‘naturally’ homosexual, but it should also be noted that any peer pressure or societal judgements have also been removed in their case.”

    You just made my point for me! 😀 If you remove that peer pressure and societal judgments, you end up with zero conditioning. So they are what they are naturally.

    • Thanks for coming over here to comment!

      Qudos for parenting skills there – I’d like to hope that in this day and age everyone is following an example such as your own – sadly I don’t think that’s the case…

      I just can’t get sexually excited at the thought of a man! I know that may go against my argument, but then I’m just me, and the next person may be different. It is worth saying that there are also some women I can’t force myself to be sexually excited by, either.

      It is a fascinating subject, and I wonder if there ever will be a definitive answer to it? Certainly I’ll happily eat my words in the face of a final and indisputable conclusion, but until then…

      • Well, if you can’t do it, then how can you still think it’s a choice?

        If you keep making my points for me, how am I supposed to have anything to respond? LOL

        I don’t know that we’ll ever have a definitive answer that can be proved scientifically. But I do think there’s a good chance of it. I mean, if they can find in our DNA what makes us unique visually, then why not what makes us unique sexually, too?

        As someone who is not straight and has been attracted to members of both sexes since before I even understood what my body was communicating to me, I can only say for myself that I am 100% certain that I didn’t make that choice. I don’t even make the choice about who I’m attracted to in general … my body does! And I’ll bet yours does, too.

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