Look, McDimbo – That Does Not Work Out Cheaper Does It?
So I park my bike up next to the main windows, quickly check my tyres to feel the temperature and see if there’s anything left on the left-hand side (that Cloverleaf tears up your tyres), take off my helmet, and stride in through the doors like some kind of Knight In Biking Armour.
As I approach the counter, I slip the rucksack off my shoulders and unzip it ready to put my food in.
The McEmployee calls me over and asks if they can take my order.
Oh yes, they can.
“Could I have a Big Mac and Large Fries, please?”
“JUST a Big Mac and fries?” She looks at me like I’ve gone mad.
“Yes, a Big Mac and LARGE Fries.” I correct, just in case.
“Don’t you want the meal?”
Here’s where my ‘You Tithead’ look drops over my face like a dead monkey falling out of the Happy Tree. I glance at my Shoei helmet on the counter, and yes, it does appear that I’m still wearing full leathers.
“No, I don’t.” If I’d wanted the fucking Meal, I’d have asked for the fucking Meal! Give me some credit!
“It works out cheaper.” McDimbo advises, like he’s getting one over on The Clown.
Now, by this stage I’ve totally lost it. I knew it was coming, but we can all hope that this time will be different.
You may have noticed that I didn’t go through the Drive-Thru. It would be awkward to lean over to the windows, and I’d spend about 20 mins taking kit off and putting it back on again to pay and stow stuff away.
AND WHERE THE McFUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO PUT THE DRINK???
Hence I want a Big Mac and Large Fries. I once used to believe these were available without some kind of Siamese bloody drink attached.
That bit, although it makes me want to tear off McDimbo’s face and spew down her nose-hole, is kind-of forgivable. People are stupid, and even those that aren’t sometimes don’t think things through.
But I can’t forgive this line:
“It works out cheaper.”
HOW does it *puts on a silly high voice* “work out cheaper”????
A Big Mac and Large Fries costs £3.09.
A Big Mac Meal, which includes Regular (note not Large) Fries, and a Regular Drink – and this costs £3.10.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but paying a penny more to get a drink I can’t fucking take with me, and smaller Fries than I want, DOES NOT ‘WORK OUT CHEAPER’!!!!!!
“No, just the Big Mac and Large Fries, thanks” I say through a psychotic smile.
Bunch of fucking clowns.