Final Meal Before Execution (Redundancy)?

Final Meal Before Execution (Redundancy)?

I’m feeling a lot less bleak about things today – I’m practising for redundancy by drinking scrumpy cider, but I don’t have time to practise eating noodles and watching Jeremy Kyle.

I didn’t think a carvery could ever be bad?!?

Now I know different.

The Perdiswell, just outside of Worcester was the unlucky choice we made out of the two carvery pubs within a few hundred metres of each other.  Ironically, I believe I chose it because from the outside it looked like the posher of the two.  It was also the cheaper.  Doh!

We did do a quick flyby of the carvery area, but being the rampant carnivore that is me, I only looked at the three types of meat on offer and somehow didn’t notice the lack of anything else.  Come to think of it there wasn’t actually a chef there, either.

We paid up and they produced a ‘chef’ to carve the meat (some of each for me, of course – Gammon, Turkey and Beef), and then it all went bad…

As I carried the plate over to get some veg I noticed the thick ginger hair on my plate.  EWWW!!!  I should have taken it back and complained here but didn’t.  I removed the hair, tried not to think about it and turned to the choice of non-meat crap.

Now, there are some things that you NEED as part of a carvery.  Many will argue over these ‘essentials’, but either way this one was lacking.

The choice was:  Cabbage, Potato(?) cube type things, Roast Potato (about 9 in total to choose from), very dried looking Roast Parsnips, Carrots (I’d rather eat the ginger hair), umm… and that was all!  Then there was slightly warm gravy to spoon over it and a packaged portion of Heinz Mouse-Turd.

I honesty couldn’t identify the cube things.  They had a tougher, slightly sinewey texture, but no taste?!  Lucky we were also issued with a Yorshire Pudding with a ball of stuffing inside around the size of a Spaniels eyeball.  Which was burnt.

I never thought it was possible to leave some carvery and still come away hungry!

So if that was my last meal as a condemned man… well, John Coffey would have been gutted!

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