Hey – What Do I Get For NOT Having Kids???

Hey – What Do I Get For NOT Having Kids???

Parents spend their whole life having a whinge.

Most people can’t remember how much they whinged before they had kids, but once they have managed the near-impossible and highly skilled act of getting pregnant, it’s nothing but moaning.



Suddenly they’re entitled to everything.

Oh they’ll moan that school and college is expensive, but what they won’t want to see is that MY taxes are paying for the -ing school to be there in the first place!  And what do I get from it?

An investment in the future?  Yeah right!  Aren’t we all going to die of Global Warming/cancer/AIDS/starving to death whilst unsable to get off Facebook, anyway???

Now, ignoring the fact that when your kid gets sick sometimes YOU’LL be the one who has time off work to look after them, what about the holidays you get for free such as maternity/paternity leave?

Is there a version of that for the childless that we can apply for?

And then the Gubbinmint give you money. Just… GIVE you a payment each week.  For having a baby you couldn’t afford to pay for on your own.  “Sure – we’ll give you money towards that!  Why not have another kid and we’ll give you even more!”



Shouldn’t I get some kind of bonus for NOT costing the country money in benefits?  Oh no, that’s right – I get to pay for it instead!

It’s simple enough to control.  I mean, if you have kids then you lose the childless benefit and go onto the ones for having children.  Hell, it might even be some kind of incentive for people to WORK and not turn into layabout dole scum!

I know we’re never supposed to speak out about this kind of thing, and all the parents instantly get the pitchforks out if anyone without children dares to form any kind of opinion about issues to do with parenting, but doesn’t this make sense?

If the parents had to fund yearly Singles Holidays for the childless then how would they feel about that?  And yet they’re fine with the childless paying towards their benefits, hospital bills and time off work.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: It’s much harder NOT to have children than it is TO have them!  Can you imagine the peer pressure a couple gets when they don’t have a baby?  can you imagine the pain and anguish it can cause when you fucking imbecile Breeders drop hints and put the pressure on, when a couple doesn’t want kids – or even worse, they CAN’T have them?

I bet you’ve said it to someone.


And then to add insult to injury I have to pay stupid money for condoms to avoid getting into the whole benefits situation in the first place!


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