Welcome Home (Sanitarium)

Welcome Home (Sanitarium)

First off, I have to start this off by telling you all that there is a huge filthy great bully of a spider who waits half way up the path for me every morning to try and get me.  If you don’t hear fro me again assume he’s caught me by surprise, and I’m lay half way down my back garden, winded and crying that he’s stolen my dinner money.   Get help!

Saturday was the day we got the keys to the new house.

It started off with me knackered after not sleeping much, and Lill Boo excited, and we headed off bright and early with high expectations…

Apparently the letting agency had sent in an urgent team of cleaners after having checked the property the night before, and we had to wait until they were done – no problem, thought I, as it means it will be cleaner and that’s a Good Thing.

The first alarm bell rang when she flipped quickly through the contract as we signed, and I actually stopped her and turned the pages back to where I’d seen that there was no key supplied to the garage door.

Whoa!  The double garage was the main reason for getting this place in the first place!  I was assured that an emergency locksmith could be arranged to sort this out, as they glossed over another part about us having to store some of the Landlords items in one tiny section of the garage…

We signed what we had to and headed off for to get the keys from the cleaners… who appeared to be one man.

The nightmare started here, and all dreams were smashed.

The place stank and EVERYTHING was absolutely filthy.  Not just dirty – I’m talking things like the windows had blatantly NEVER been cleaned since they were installed.  A layer of grime coated absolutely everything apart from the walls and ceiling which had been painted earlier in the week at our request.

All storage closets were filled with rubbish and garden strimmers (a running theme as I’ve found at least three strimmers so far).

As part of our request in the contract the garden had to be cleaned up from the overgrown wilderness it was when we viewed it originally.  The grass HAD been cut, but of the 50 or 60+ terracotta planters, I found ONE which wasn’t broken.  The rest were all still there spread over the garden.

The rest of the inventory we had to check was a similar nightmare, with me having to add notes to just about every item in every room.

Eventually we opened up the garage to find it literally half full of old beds and bikes and golf clubs and general crap.  There was no space on a single shelf and barely room to fit a small car in.  But we did get millions of thick, filthy webs and the spiders to go along with them.  A phone call to the agents told me we couldn’t get the garage door key for at least 4 days, and we had to store ALL the garage items under the legal contract – even though we’d been assured it would ALL be gone.  Heaven forbid we’d actually want full use of the so-called ‘double garage’…

Many phone calls and rants got it partly sorted out, but we’re still stuck storing their crap.  CHECK THE CONTRACT AND PROPERTY FULLY BEFORE YOU SIGN, KIDS!

I can’t even be arsed listing the rest, but 2 days later we’d cleaned the place up and settled down a bit to find it honestly is a pretty good place to live!

It’s fairly big with great kitchen etc and all other homely crap that isn’t suited for a Nasty Evil Ninja to be writing about.

We still need to shampoo the Biddy smells out of the carpets, but are enjoying it so far, and it has great potential.

Needless to say, I’m offline until various services are sorted out so I’ve got minimal access to emails and Facebook until then.

So here’s the update for y’all!  And I -ing HATE Landlords and have learnt a million things about being a petty twat for the next time I ever have to sign anything for a property.

I’ll get some pics on when I can…