First Car Insurance/F*ck You, Your Family, And All Your Family’s Pets

First Car Insurance/F*ck You, Your Family, And All Your Family’s Pets

Today I decided to get some rough quotes to insure me as a first time driver.

I used the links to search engines from www.moneysavingexpert.com (an invaluable resource for EVERYTHING if you’re in the UK), filling in as many of my details as I could, and then sat back and waited for the quotes…

Now, bearing in mind that for a high-performance, 190mph superbike that I’ve ridden for 10 years I’m looking at £170 for fully comprehensive insurance, how much would you think an old 1 litre Fiat Uno worth around £300 will cost to insure?

If you guessed around SEVEN HUNDRED FUCKING POUNDS then you’re right.

Yes, you read that right – £700!!!  And that was for 3rd Party Fire & Theft – which is somehow cheaper than fully comp or 3rd Party Only?!?


Gee, I like you, Mr Insurance Man – you can come over to my house and fuck my sister!

For £700 I could hire a fucking limo to take me to work every day over Winter, and sip on Champagne watching the world go by without being bent over and pounded in my balloon knot by you cunts!

How about that?!

Twats.

I hope to God none of them phone me up about the quotes.  If they do I might try and record the conversation.

So fuck all that for now – I’m just going to pass the test and then worry about it all.  I know some bike insurance companies like Carole Nash let you use your No Claims Bonus on both car and bike, so that might be worth looking at.  I’m sure there’ll be some way of getting it down, anyway…

I can totally see why so many people don’t bother getting any insurance and just risk it.

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