Worship Your Weak Heros

Worship Your Weak Heros

The world is going to shit.

Kids are unruly at best, and stab each other in the japs-eye at worst (or if they live in London), the criminals have more rights than your average law abiding citizen, and a ‘celebrity’ buying a new thong carries more news headlines than a natural disaster.

Adults don’t even read anymore, and if they do its childrens books about wizards!

WTF is going on?

I’ll tell you what: We don’t have any role models.  The closest we get to a role model is a choice between an alcoholic wife-beating rapist of a footballer, or a poncey metrosexual hen-pecked fashion whore of a footballer.

Ooh!  Choices, choices…

What we don’t have is any real Hero’s anymore.  Even in fiction, our ‘Hero’s aren’t exactly the Herculean, err… Hercules or even a pre-horeseriding-accident Superman.

http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/epic-fail-costume-fail.jpg


Oh no – we get weak, pansy-assed weeds like this:

https://i1.wp.com/thesquigglyline.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/406hobbit-group-lord-of-the-rings-over-sized-posters.jpg


Don’t get me wrong – whilst the books in the whole LOTR series bored me more than an impotent Vicar at a lapdancing club, I actually enjoyed the films quite a lot.  Apart from one thing, which – as you may have guessed – are the hairy-toed limp-dicks pictured above.

Hobbits.  Yeah, sure – have them in the film doing their thing, but FFS don’t make THEM the Hero’s!  They’re the cute little aside as the Hero sweeps through actually getting stuff DONE!  Nobody should want to BE a damned Hobbit!

Horrible, sneaky little weak, scared, indecisive, couldn’t-punch-their-way-out-of-a-wet-paper-bag dick-heads!!!

And just as everyone is getting over them and back to decent LARP costumes like Barbarians and Evil DeathfuckI’mhards, who comes along???

This twat:

http://wordpump.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/harrypotter5poster.jpg


They’re all a lot like Superman, actually – no, not the one with the head-stick and dribble – I mean the spastic that was Clark Kent before he took his glasses off.  As if he forgot he was actually Superman and never got around to saving anything but Dungeons & Dragons playing cards.

We all look up to Clark Kent as our Hero and role model rather than Superman, and nobody is saying “Hey wait a minute!  Where’s the passion?  Where’s the power?  Where’s the fucking HERO-ness???”

Then again, none of us could tell the difference between Clark Kent and Superman as long as he wore glasses and used less hairgel, so is it really all that surprising…?

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6 thoughts on “Worship Your Weak Heros

  1. So, half of me was offended and half of me laughed at this post. Can’t say who won, but I like the blog title nonetheless, which is why I stopped by in the first place.

  2. After browsing the review of the Veho video cam, et. al, I decided to browse around and found this article. Wow…how irreverent…just my style.

    A serious message wrapped in humor. It was great! the Superman photo was so funny my wife came into the room to see why I was laughing!

    Yep, kids and most young adults have been brainwashed to believe you are not to excel. As a result, nobody steps up to be a real hero. My heroes had faults but you always knew that the one to emulate was the cowboy with the white hat…law abiding, respect for others, especially the ladies (not to be confused with gutter sluts who change partners like underwear). Come to think of it, there’s probably some who change their partners MORE than their underwear…

    Some of my heroes: Roy Rogers, Gene Autrey, Lash Larue, Red Ryder, Lone Ranger, Matt Dillon, Rifleman…I know – I’m showing my age.

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