Celebrity Beauty

Celebrity Beauty

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I opened this page on MSN this morning.  It’s yet more proof to me that the media controls how we think, feel and even how we see:

Beyonce has best body, say women

Beyonce is the celebrity with the best body in the eyes of British women

Beyonce is the celebrity with the best body in the eyes of British women

Singer Beyonce is the celebrity with the best body in the eyes of British women, but males prefer Hollywood actress Megan Fox, a new survey has found.
The singer topped the poll among females with 24% of the vote, but one in five men stated Transformers star Fox boasted the sexiest body and named her as the woman they would most like to sleep with if their partner gave them a celebrity pass.

All I really know about Megan Fox is that she’s thicker than your average Collie dog.  She probably chases balls and runs into sharp sticks in the park.  OK, so this is about the body – and yeah I’d knock the Granny out of it.

But Boyonce???

Legs like -ing tree trunks and an ass like Station from Bill & Teds Bogus Journey fame!

I find it quite interesting that Men voted for Megan and Women voted for Boyonce.  Doesn’t that just show how fkd up in the head women are?  Women have an idea of what men find beautiful that is fashioned by OTHER WOMEN instead of men!

The poll of 2,000 people also revealed newlywed Katie Price was losing favour with the public with a third of men and women unanimously naming her as the least attractive celebrity.

Oh, so the Queen of Slappers is less attractive?  Was she EVER attractive?

Slim figured Victoria Beckham did not fair well among those questioned being voted the celebrity with the worst figure by both sexes.

Posh Spice = Wig-on-a-stick.  That can be a good thing – in her case it’d be splinters.

The attractiveness study, conducted by Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment to mark the DVD and Blu-ray release of Jennifer’s Body starring Fox, found that as well as being women’s overall body choice, Beyonce boasted the sexiest individual assets.
Approximately 34% of men and women surveyed named her as the celebrity with the best bottom, while a quarter of respondents said she had the best legs.

WTF?!?  Refer to my comments above!!!!

Beyonce’s bosom also topped among women, with 23% saying she had the best celebrity cleavage.
Hollywood siren Angelina Jolie and Fox shared first place among male voters in this category, both attracting 19%.

OK, so breasts aren’t my area of expertise.  As most of you will know, I prefer smaller breasts, but without checking I’d say if I had to choose from these Fox would have it…

The pair also split the vote for the title of best celebrity eyes, with Jolie just beating Fox by 19% to 18%.

Celebrity eyes?  Hang on – was this a poll consisting of about 5 people and made for retards who can only keep up with this weeks fad ‘celebrity’?

British actress Keira Knightley took the crown for the prettiest face with 18% of both men and women putting her top of the list, while Jennifer Aniston secured 17% of the votes.

Prettiest face?  HOW?


She looks like a shovel.  Actually she has the body to match, too!  A big bloody shovel stood on it’s handle!

I’m assuming she’s just still getting the Emo/Pirate votes…

Enter The Lair Of A Nasty Evil Ninja

Enter The Lair Of A Nasty Evil Ninja

I could go on for days about who I am, what I’m into, and how I live my life.

For once, I’m not going to do that!  In my simplest form, this is me:

Today is a good day to die.  If I’ve lived my life to the full, then I should be able to say this each and every day.  It means I’ve done as much as I can do.

The problem with this is that to be able to say this you have to plan to get off your ass and do stuff in the future!

So in reality, if I died today I’d be pretty pissed off that I didn’t get to ride around Oulton Park again, or jump out of a plane like I’m planning on doing as soon as possible.

Shit, this is getting longer already.  OK scrap that…

Biking is so much of my life that it’s virtually a religion to me.  I am a Biker.  I ride sportsbikes and love them, and have done for the last 10 years.

Balanced with this is martial arts and again this pervades every area and moment of my life.  I started martial arts training when I was 8 years old.  I’m a true modern day Ninja.

I’ve done lots of weird and wonderful activities from playing bass and doing death metal vocals in bands, playing on one of the top British American football teams, have Grade 3 Foil & Sabre in fencing, and can ride a horse.

My jobs are equally as ad-hoc – from factory work to Specialist Surveillance to motorcycle courier.  I’m now an Office Monkey.

There are many more to both of the above…

I try to cut the crap from my life.  There are only ever 2 types of problem:

  1. A problem that you can do something about – in which case DO IT!
  2. A problem that you can’t do anything about – in which case what the Hell are you wasting time worrying about it for?

This unclutters your life and priorities so much most people will never even believe it – let alone try it.

I’m a bit of a loner.  I don’t make enough effort with family and friends.  I hope they understand that this isn’t because I don’t like or care for them any less, but it’s just my way.  Someone from 20 years ago could walk back in my life today and I’d embrace them as my best friend still – until they prove otherwise.

I love the extreme sides of life, and am prepared to take risks and try almost anything.  I also quite like routine sometimes.

I’m a contradiction like every last fucking one of you!

This is my life.  Welcome aboard…